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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28207281">we could be an ancient tale</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellyflori/pseuds/mellyflori'>mellyflori</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(Though really it’s competing interests to friends to lovers), (though the language is T no matter what), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Illnesses, M/M, Quests, Rating is for later chapters, Shapeshifting, Slow Burn, anything else is a spoiler so check the top note and reach out with questions, fic is finished i'm just posting chapters as i edit them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:20:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>69,299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28207281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellyflori/pseuds/mellyflori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're the bard?"</p><p>"Court poet, technically, but I do the storytelling as well. Sometimes a little bit of singing, but not often."</p><p>"You're on a quest in the mysterious forest, Joe."</p><p>"I'm aware of the irony, yes. Thank you." Joe rolls his eyes, and a spike of fondness stabs right through Nicky's heart. </p><p>
  <i>A reluctant hero, a dying queen, a desperate wife, a helpful guide, a magical spring, and one smartass shapeshifting weasel. These are the things fairy tales are made of.</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>605</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've kept the tags deliberately vague so as not to spoil future plot points. (Because apparently, I think I'm subtle enough to pull off a reveal. We'll see.)  If you have any questions, concerns, or things you want to confirm are (or are not) in the story please reach out to me either in a comment here or in an ask over at tumblr. I'm <a href="https://werebearbearbar.tumblr.com">werebearbearbar</a> over there. </p><p>One thing I can say: As this is a quest story set in a forest, there are a few mentions of someone getting food for the evening-usually fish or small game--and there are some vague, very vague, references to preparing that food and cooking it. I'm not going into details, mostly because I don't know them, but also because I get grossed out by that and I'm not interested in writing it. However, my inner process nerd felt the need to at least reference it. If you're not interested in reading those bits, for whatever reasons, I'll give you some markers at the top of the couple of chapters they're in, so you can avoid them.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone in the throne room is watching the moment their queen begins to die, but not a single person knows what's happened until it's too late.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>The afternoon sun is slanting across the painted tiles, smearing bright blotches of color where the light has passed through stained glass, as Queen Andromachae winces, clenching her eyes shut, then shifts on her throne, brushing the discomfort away. Not one of the dozens of people in attendance has any idea what's to come, not even Joe. Not even Quynh, sitting on the throne beside Andy's. Even if they had, they'd have been powerless to stop it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe watches Quynh's eyes flick over to Andy, then quickly back to the task at hand. The kingdom can joke that they only have eyes for each other, but they take their duties seriously. Right now, their majesties are settling disputes between members of their nobility, the second son of a minor Duke stands in front of them, pleading his case. So regardless of her curiosity about what might be bothering Andy, Her Grace, Quynh, beloved of her people, sits tall and proud on her throne and listens as he speaks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Technically, Joe supposes, Andy is Queen Consort, but they rule together, and these days only petty bureaucrats, bitter rivals, and pedants include the second half of that title. It's a rare day when one of them sits on a throne without the other beside her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Andy shifts again, and the light glints off the silver embroidery of her gown. Quynh, resplendent in deep red, reaches over to take her hand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the coming days, word will spread, and to those who hear it second or third or fourth-hand, it will seem like Andy falls ill in the blink of an eye. Those beside her, those who call her friend, and know the joy of making her laugh, feel like they spend centuries watching her slip away. She's tired, she says. She's never been so tired. No matter how much Quynh fusses over her and lets her sleep late, Andromache never feels rested.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Three days after the audience in the throne room, the headaches begin.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe is telling stories after their evening meal, trying to bring a smile to her face. At a moment when she might usually laugh; instead, she brings her hand up to rub at her temple, eyes half-closed against the light. Their queen is fair-skinned, but tonight, especially against the black wool of her tunic, her face is ghostly white.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A log in the fireplace pops, and Andy's face tightens, wincing at the sound. Quynh is watching; of course she is.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My love, I wonder if you might walk with me through the gardens, and then we can make an early night of it." To Joe, she says, "I'm sorry to cut the evening short."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My heart is breaking at the loss of your company." His eyes are wide and tragic.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A queen is poised, calm, and collected. A queen moves and speaks with grace and dignity. A queen, regardless of how Joe might classify the noise Quynh makes in reply, does not snort.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When her wife doesn't answer, Quynh tries to get her attention. "Andy?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Blinking, Andy raises her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"A walk," Quynh says. "Then an early night, and tomorrow I'll send for the doctor?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes," Andy says, her voice strained. "That sounds fine."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>That moment, that easy agreement to a visit from a man Andy and Quynh both loathe is the moment Joe feels the first tendrils of chill dread wrap around his heart.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>When Quynh first saw Andromache, so many years ago, Joe had been standing beside her. Even before they'd spoken to each other, he'd thought, <em>This, this is love.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's a love like theirs he's hoping for every time he falls for someone new. No matter how many times his wholeheartedness is tossed back at him with derision or disregard, no matter how many times he's the last one to see the warning signs, he never stops hoping because he's seen it happen. Their story is his favorite one to tell; love at first sight and knowing they'd never have to face another challenge alone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There had been few, small pockets of grumbling in the kingdom. They worried that Andy, a woman of little name and no fortune, might have ulterior motives. What would become of their queen? On the day of their betrothal, the two of them rode, side by side, through the city and into the palace, and countless faces gathered to peer up at them. Joe knows what they saw; he saw the same thing when he stood next to Quynh on the bridge that day. The grumbling nearly stopped entirely after that. Nearly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's their bad luck that one of the few people who still mistrusts Andy is the court doctor.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For three days, Andy picks at her food. From his seat, three places away from Quynh, Joe sees her pushing her evening meals around her plate. He tries to ease some tension by teasing Quynh about it. "I'd think she was pregnant, were it not for —"he waves his fork in the direction of Quynh's lap.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You know, there's no law that says we have to have a court poet, Yusuf."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"True," he grins at her. "Too bad if you dismissed him, you'd lose your best friend, too." Even joking about it makes his heart hurt.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I could never lose you, little brother, even if you weren't here." It's true. He's as devoted to her now as he had been when they were children. His father had been her father's exchequer, and the two of them had run wild through the palace.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now, Joe can see the tightness around Quyhn's eyes. He puts his fork down and leans toward her. "You're actually worried."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh hides her mouth behind her hand as though she's stifling a yawn. She doesn't want to alarm anyone, and that in itself alarms Joe more than almost anything else. "Her health can be," she pauses, searching for the right word. "Delicate."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe frowns. That's not a term he'd ever have used to describe the heartiest, most adventurous woman he's ever met. The coil of fear around his heart tightens. "I didn't know."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A wry smile tugs at the corners of Quynh's mouth. "Some secrets I keep even from you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>We all keep secrets,</em> Joe thinks and tries not to think of his own. There will be time for him to sit in a corner, terrified at the notion of losing half of his family, but that time will be later. Right now, his task, his only task, is to be here for Quynh, to be whatever she needs.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He puts his hand over hers where it's resting on the table, squeezing it. "If I loved you less, I would be offended by that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Andy puts her fork down, Quynh calls to her. "Heart of my heart, everyone here tonight is a friend, and none of them will be hurt if you go rest." Andy opens her mouth to protest. "Please," Quynh says. "For me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Andy's smile is pinched with exhaustion, but warm and sincere. "I love you. Don't tell all my most embarrassing stories while I'm gone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe winks at her. "Most of these people were there for those stories, Andy."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>On her way out of the room, Andy bends to kiss her wife, and Joe watches as Quyhn melts into it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His heart twists, thinking of the men he'd flung his heart wide for believing a love like this would be his reward. He wants to think he'll be more cautious next time, but he knows better.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Andy's back is straight as she leaves, but Joe sees one hand reach out to hold the doorframe as she walks through it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Has the doctor seen her?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes." Joe can see her twist the fabric of her dress as she clenches her hand in a fist. "He couldn't find anything, says it's probably just exhaustion from trying to do too much."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh's eyes follow Andy down the hall, an anxious frown creasing her brow.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You don't believe him?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I think he's never liked her and probably believes she's faking it to keep me under her thrall. I think he's hoping that if he doesn't indulge her, she'll realize it's futile and just give up the farce. As if somehow thirteen years isn't long enough to trust her. <em>I think he's an asshole,</em> is what Joe hears her saying, and she's not wrong.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She'll get some rest tonight and wake up feeling better in the morning; just watch. And if she doesn't, we'll find another doctor."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Andy doesn't wake up feeling better in the morning. She doesn't wake up at all.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's still finishing breakfast in his quarters, a pen in his ink-stained hands, when someone pounds on his door. Joe answers it with a piece of toast in his mouth and his shirt half-on. The members of the palace staff have stopped being surprised by Lord Yusuf's behavior, and this one doesn't even blink. It doesn't hurt that many of them have been friends of Joe and Quynh's since they were all young enough to not get in trouble for sneaking cakes from the kitchens. Which they had. So many times.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Paul? What is it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Her Majesty is asking for you in her receiving room." Joe grabs the other slice of toast off his plate and follows the guard down the hall.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's known Quynh his entire life. She's more sister than anything else to him, she always has been, and he's never seen her like this. Eyes red-rimmed and puffy, she looks like she's been crying for hours. When she sees him come through the door, she wraps her arms around him and buries her face in his chest.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a moment, he just holds her. It's not weakness, this embrace; she's not falling apart, she's just letting her guard down where she can, and he feels honored by her trust, as always.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out. I'll do whatever I can."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Taking a deep breath in, she pushes away from him, dragging the backs of her hands across her eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Andy wo—“ Quynh swallows a sob, composes herself as much as possible in the circumstances. "She won't wake up. I've been trying for more than an hour. At first, I thought she was just still sleeping, but she just—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe feels the skin on the back of his neck grow clammy and cold as the onrushing panic covers him with sweat. Another tendril tightens around his heart. "She won't respond at all?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Just after dawn, I woke up to the sound of her moaning, asking for water."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did she drink it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynn shakes her head, and Joe knows he's never seen her this pale. "Not enough. At first, it seemed like she might, but she started coughing and spit most of it back up. I put the glass back on the table, and when I turned back, she was asleep again, and I—" Her voice drops to a whisper. "She won't wake up."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did you call the doctor?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No. He's the one who said she needed rest, and now--."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Quynh, he's the <em>doctor</em>, he's the one you send for when people are sick. Maybe he'll see something this time that he didn't last time, you should at least—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fine!" She takes a deep breath. "He can come back, but this time he needs to bring something that works."  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He sags into a chair, and after pacing for a few seconds, she sits down opposite him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yusuf, what if he can't help her?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe stuffs his own fear down until he can deal with it himself later. She's his sister, and she needs him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If the doctor can't find anything in his medical books, maybe someone else will have better luck in different books.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You want to talk to Lykon."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He's a brilliant philosopher, Quynh. He's the smartest man we know, and we'd be fools not at least to ask him."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh swallows, centering herself. "I waited so long to find her; I can't lose her now."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll send for him."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She shakes her head. "I don't want him coming to the palace. Usually, Andy and I go to him; if he comes here, it will only draw attention and lead to questions."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll send a page with a message, so he can start looking."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The doctor arrives for a second visit that afternoon. Perhaps seeing Quynh's concern thaws his disdain a little; perhaps he simply thinks Andy's current condition goes beyond any ruse. Regardless of the reason, he seems attentive and thorough, but he still can't come up with any answers.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe holds Quynh while she shakes, frightened of losing her wife.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll send word to Lykon in the morning and ask if he's found anything."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She nods and walks, wordlessly, back to her bedchamber.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe opens his door to a knock the next morning, expecting to see a page or a guard. Instead, the queen herself stands before him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Quynh?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>" Things are—worse. We're going to see him. <em>Now.</em>"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Of course. There's someone else we should take with us."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Any other day, Joe thinks, going out for a ride with Quynh and Nile would mean an afternoon spent laughing with two of his best friends. Today it means that Quynh is surrounding herself with people she loves and trusts, wearing their presence around her like armor.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Whenever you're ready, Majesty. I've asked the grooms to bring the horses around," Nile says. She's not in her chainmail, but she's still every inch the Queen's Champion, bravest of her knights.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Let's go then." Quynh turns to him. "Joe?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm right behind you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Should the most learned man in the kingdom keep his offices in a few modest rooms above a tailor's shop? Who are we to decide? Whatever payment he takes from Andy or Quynh as individuals, he takes nothing from them in their royal capacity. Part of what makes this man such a valuable resource is that he's beholden to no one and has no need to temper his answers to maintain an income.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Today his queen is not standing on ceremony. Her fist falls against the door like a hammer blow, and she follows it with the three quiet knocks that are their signal. When he doesn't answer fast enough for her, Quynh raises her hand to pound again. Before the blow lands, the door opens.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Every other time they've visited, Lykon's smile for Quynh has been good-natured and kind, but this time there's no smile at all. "I wasn't expecting you so early." At Quynh's stricken expression, he asks, "Andromache?" When she doesn't answer, he steps back from the doorway. "Get in, get in. We shouldn't be talking about it on the street."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They follow him upstairs to his sitting room. The first time Joe came here, he'd expected clutter, with papers and piled high with books everywhere you turned. There are many, many books, to be sure, but they are meticulously organized, as are his papers. The surfaces are immaculate. "A man who does chemistry experiments in a messy lab," he'd told Joe, "is a man on the hunt for a new lab."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe offers to make tea, as much to give himself something to do as anything else. He leaves Quynh in an overstuffed chair by the fireplace, wringing her hands and trying not to cry. Joe drops a kiss on her head as he passes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>From the small kitchen, he can hear their voices volley questions and answers back and forth. Quynh's voice is shaky, and Joe can hear Nile step across the room; he hopes she's taken Quynh's hand. This was a bad idea. He should have asked Nile to make tea. He should be next to his best friend, his sister, when she needs him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He sets the tray down on the desk and pours some for Quynh, who wraps her hands around it like she's afraid she might never be warm again. Joe can only imagine loving someone as much as Quynh loves Andy, and watching her now, terrified of losing the other half of her heart, he wonders if anything could console her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pinching the bridge of his nose, Lykon sighs. "I dislike moments like this. I dislike them intensely." He takes a drink from his cup, sitting in the silence for a moment. "I love learning Quynh. I particularly love learning more about the secret workings that lie beneath all things. I'm not a fool, though. I know there are some things beyond experiments. Some things can't be explained with formulas."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is this going somewhere?" Nile asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The forest," Lykon says. "The spring."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe isn't sure what he was expecting Lykon to suggest, but it wasn't this. "That's a bedtime story for children!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lykon looks up at Joe, "No. The increasingly fanciful legends about some monstrous creature guarding it are stories, but according to the references I found, the spring is very, very real."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh leans forward in her chair. "And it will help?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"From everything I've read? Yes. There's something about the water. A mineral, maybe? Or something we can't even see. Maybe it's just magic. There are only a few sources, but the one thing they all agree on is that when doctors can't help, the spring often can."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nile's expression is dubious at best. "You're suggesting we go on a quest for a magic elixir?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What was your alternative?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She stares at him. "I don't know; that's why we're here talking to you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And <em>I'm</em> telling you that you are out of options. The doctor can't help, I don't know what the problem is, and because Andy can't seem to eat in her state, you are running out of time. I could give you some tincture to try, but I would be stabbing in the dark, and we would be wasting precious hours."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We'll do both," Quynh says. Her voice sounds stronger than it has for days, as though she has a purpose again. "You give me every tincture you even suspect might help, and you," she turns to look at Nile, "will organize the knights. Go into the woods, find the spring," She looks at Lykon again, "How much will we need?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I honestly don't know. Fill a water-skin if you can."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nile nods. "Do you need me to go back with you or—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, you should leave as soon as possible."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Crouching in front of their queen, Nile puts a hand over hers, squeezing it. "Nothing in those woods is a match for us. We'll be back in a few days."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh turns her hand palm up and returns the squeeze. "You're my champion. Now go."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The silence following Nile's departure is deafening.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Should I--" He's not even sure what to offer. Joe's world has tilted on its axis, and none of his compasses are working.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh swallows, sits up straight. "Don't leave. Stay by me. Even if Nile gets every knight mounted and on the hunt before we get back, there will still be so many questions. I want someone by my side, just. Just at first." Typically, this would be Andy's job, is what they're not saying. On any other day, Andy would be her rock, her safe harbor.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She'd handled crises before Andy came, of course. Handled them well, with grace and cleverness, but this isn't any crisis. This is Andy. This is her true north. Quyhn's worried she might not be able to handle this one, and as long as she wants him there, Joe will be right by her side. Everyone will have questions, they'll want her to make decisions and plans. For the next few days, at least, Joe's job is to be the only person who isn't taking from her. He can do this.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They wait while Lykon puts together some ingredients in a bottle, heating it briefly then wiping the soot off the glass. "This likely won't make any difference, but—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But I have to try."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He nods. "You do." Reaching out, he rests one hand on Quynh's shoulder. "I'll send more tomorrow. If you see any change, have a messenger alert me as soon as possible."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She nods then pauses. "I'm very sorry you never got a chance to meet my father. He believed in moving our kingdom forward with learning; he would have liked you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Every time I talk to you, I'm meeting him. Go now; your wife needs you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As he'd suspected, the questions start before they're even across the drawbridge. Quynh answers all she can, and when she can't, Joe steps in. "Can this wait?" he asks over and over, and "Why do you need a decision on this right now?" No one pays him any mind. They've been trying to get to her quarters for nearly an hour, while Joe watches her face become a rictus of propriety and politeness. She's scared she'll break while they're all watching, and he's scared for her. All he wants to do is protect her, to make it stop. He's powerless over so much right now, but this he can handle.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Enough!" The ministers all fall silent. "Take your questions to the queen's secretary, have him make a list. One list! He can submit it to Her Majesty at her evening meal tonight, and she will answer as many as she can." Quynh squeezes his hand. One of the ministers opens his mouth but snaps it shut again when Joe glares at him. "If she has questions, we'll send a messenger to you. That will be all." No one moves. "Go. Away," he says, in a voice he learned from Quynh's father. The ministers scatter like mice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They're barely inside the door of the Queens' chambers when Quynh says, "I need to go see her."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Let's go."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Alone. I need to go see her alone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe stops in his tracks, frowning.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The last time I tried to get her to drink something, it—She won't thank either of us if I let you see her like that. Besides, there's only so much of my hysterical sobbing I can stand for you to see in one day."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He opens his arms, and she steps into them, letting him envelop her, protect her what little he can. "I'll go to the kitchens and have them prepare something easy for us. When you're ready, I'll be just outside your door."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her answer is muffled against his chest. "Yusuf? Thank you. For helping, and being here for me." Even in its choked, helpless state, Joe feels a little ember of joy in his heart at having been able to save her at least a little bit of distress. "What did I do to deserve a friend as good as you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You took the fall for me after I dropped my father's inkwell."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She hugs him tighter, and her next words are more muffled, but Joe would recognize her, "I love you" anywhere.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the kitchens, they barely notice him. He asks one of the cooks for a plate of bread, cheese, dried meats, simple things they can eat at any time and not worry about leaving them out overnight.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>While he waits, he props himself against the wall somewhere he won't be underfoot. He distracts himself from his thoughts, still spinning in circles, by listening to the kitchen staff talk. The topic today seems to be what will eat the knights first.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The forest is half a day's ride from the palace; it would be a prime hunting ground, were the idea of what might be lurking in there not enough to deter nearly everyone. Of those who are reckless and foolhardy enough to try, no trace is ever found.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>One of the cook's boys - sweat-slick from manning the spit-tells his friend the knights won't even get into the forest. "My father tried once when I was little. Mum nearly killed him for even going there. She said he was lucky he hadn't gotten run through by some insect monster's stinger. She says they're bigger than bears and their outsides are all yellow, that they've got wings so they can chase you down and pincers for hands that will pierce you clean through."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His friend scoffs. "Your mum needs to stay out of the gin."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There's a minor scuffle, broken up by the cook putting one meaty hand on each of their heads and knocking them together.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No more talking about monstrous bugs or getting in the gin. You've both got work to do!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe waits for the boys to get back to their tasks before he says to the cook, "You think they're wrong about beasts in the woods?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, I wouldn't say that. I know there are, just not like they're talking about. Besides, no one's paying them to chatter."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe drops his voice a little. "What do you think it is?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The cook lays out a piece of beef, poking at it to check the marbling. "I'm not sure I exactly know, but one night on my way back from Tvarnia to the south, I fell asleep in the saddle, and when I woke up, my horse had wandered close to the edge of the forest. Before I could put my heels in him and get out of there, something ran out, right to the edge of the trees, and—the scream. I hope never to hear the like again. My horse took off, and I'm lucky I was able to keep myself in the seat."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did you see it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a moment, he doesn't answer. His hands busy themselves with the meat, measuring out where he wants to cut. Finally, he speaks without looking up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Maybe. Maybe not. If I saw anything, it looked— It looked like a toad, walking on its back legs, but big as a giant. A horn in the middle of its head and claws like a hawk. It seemed like it was covered in long, sharp spines. Could be I'm imagining things. Could be it wasn't anything worse than an angry bear trying to scare us away from his territory." With a deep breath, the cook stands straight again. "Either way, you wouldn't catch me out there again." He brings his cleaver down hard onto the beef, and Joe knows this conversation is over. He bids the cook good day and wanders out into the hall.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's heard all these stories. All these and more. As the court poet, a storyteller, he collects tales like this to spin out by the fire at night or weave into his poems. He's even heard about the two-headed giant guarding the spring at the center of the forest, razor-sharp tusks coming from both its mouths.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There are as many variations of those stories as there are parents trying to keep their children in bed at night. If even one of them is close to true, every knight in the palace may just have ridden out to their death.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before he can ruin his day further by letting his mind conjure up an image of Nile's broken body coming home draped over the back of her horse, one of the kitchen girls comes out with a tray.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Excuse me, sir. This is for her majesty?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, it is." He takes it from her. "Thank you, Alice."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The girl is clearly startled that he knows her name but recovers enough to say, "Would you please tell her we're all thinking of her?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I will, and I know it will lighten her heart."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The girl runs away before her blush can creep any higher up her face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The door to Quynh and Andy's chambers is standing open, so he taps lightly on the door.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Come in." Quynh sounds so tired, and Joe would do anything to take that heaviness from her voice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Setting the tray on the table beside her chair, he settles into his usual spot, just to her left.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did you see her already?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eyes closed, Quynh drops her head back against the chair. "She didn't even wake up as she was gagging on Lykon's tincture."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did she swallow it at least?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh nods.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Maybe the next one he sends," Joe says, but he knows they're grasping at wisps of hope at this point.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Maybe. I feel like I'm torturing her with this. I keep imagining her, trapped in her own body, screaming for me to stop hurting her."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She would never—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh opens her eyes and rolls her head against the back of the chair until she's looking at him. "Oh yes, brother, go ahead and tell me how my wife wouldn't yell at me. My wife, a woman who will pick a fight with me about the color of the sky simply because she likes the way my eyes look when I'm angry. Tell me, Yusuf."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's a precious moment of levity, and it's gone too soon. In the somber quiet that follows, Joe reaches out to take Quynh's hand. "Rest if you want, I'll listen for her and wake you if she makes noise."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No. I'm exhausted to my bones, but I don't think I could sleep right now."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He strokes his thumb across her knuckles. "I don't know how you're so calm."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What is my other choice? If I went wild with fear and grief and tore the curtains and bedding to shreds, who would that help? Plus, it would piss off Andy when she wakes up again. She likes the curtains." There's a pause, a beat, a heartbreaking jerk back to reality. "If she wakes up again."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She'll wake up again. If only to prove that doctor wrong."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh squeezes his fingers. Joe has always believed that the prize of real, deep love like Andy and Quynh's is worth any cost. What kind of artist would he be if he didn't believe love was the greatest joy? Still, sitting here now, with Quynh's chilled fingers in his, hearing the occasional hitch in her breath that means she's still crying, even trying to fathom what she would feel if Andy didn't ever come back to them, Joe knows that's precisely the wrong thing to say to her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The candle burns lower, their eyes grow heavy, and Joe loses himself to his thoughts.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Dawn brings hoofbeats ringing as they hit the cobblestones and echo off the palace walls. Quynh, finally having dragged herself to bed only two hours before, comes bursting out of her bedchamber and through her private office into the sitting room. Her eyes meet Joe's as he bolts upright on the sofa.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Boots. Get your boots on. Let's go!" She's shouting at him, but his boots are on before she's finished speaking. Kneeling in front of her, he braces her shoe so she can push her feet into the soft leather. She almost trips over him in her rush to leave, throwing an apology over her shoulder as she tears out the door. Joe is right behind her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>She stopped for shoes,</em> Joe thinks, <em>but not to pull her hair up or rub the sleep from her eyes. </em>If Andy lives, if there's ever a day when this becomes a story they can tell without terror seeping into their bones, he'll be sure to include that part in his tale.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the courtyard, Quynh comes to a stop so abruptly, Joe almost crashes into her back. He steps around her so he can be by her side and look at her face. Where moments before there had been the barest ribbon of hope in her eyes, now there's only fear and confusion. Ten knights rode out yesterday; only two are here now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Do you—Do you have it?" she asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The older of the two knights drags a handkerchief across his dark brow. His face is a picture of misery, and Joe knows he must have drawn the short straw. He's searching his memory for the knight's name.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, Majesty. We don't have it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Where is everyone else? Where is Nile?" Like an insidious thread, panic is weaving its way through her words.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Everyone else is still at the forest—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"At the forest," she says. "Not in it?" She's not crying, but there's a hysterical edge to her voice.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Majesty, I—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She cuts him off again, calling out, "Bring these men water, and see to their horses."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The older knight—James, yes, that's it—hands his horse's reins to a stable boy and steps closer to the queen so no one can overhear him but Joe. <em>Good man,</em> Joe thinks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Tell me everything," Quynh says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"On the way, we chose ten places near the edge of the forest. One for each of us, from which we could ride in and make our way to the center. We couldn't be sure what kind of terrain we'd find, so we thought it best to approach from all angles." When Quynh nods, he continues. "I picked my way through underbrush and vines, never passing any areas twice, but three hours after I started, I found myself riding out of the forest just where I'd begun."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How is that possible?" Joe's throat has gone so dry he can barely get the words out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I wish I knew, majesty. There were two others I could see in the field, Simon here," he gestures to his companion, "and one other. When I went to them, they had the same struggle. The forest spat us all back out again, with nothing to show for our efforts but lost time." A kitchen boy runs out with a large stoneware cup, and Joe can see water slopping over the edges. Sir James takes it, thanking the boy, and draining it in one gulp. Joe can see the other knight behind him, doing the same.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What then?" Quynh sounds as calm as she can, but Joe can see where her hands are fisted in the soft wool of her tunic, the skin around her knuckles tight and pale as death.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>She believes Andy is going to die.</em> That has his heart is hammering in his chest. Since the moment Andy came into their lives, she'd just <em>fit</em>, accepting Joe unreservedly, in a way only Quynh had ever done. Where others had been jealous of the time he spent with Quyhn, Andy had only smiled and made room at the table.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Long past the days when he'd sat on the roof as a boy, staring at the stars and waiting for one to fall so he could wish on it, pleading with the fates to bring him his mother back, Andy came into his life like a second sister. The idea of losing her, of trying to heal his heart from saying goodbye to another piece of his family, has his throat growing tight, and he wants nothing as much as he wants to hold Quynh's hand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can hear muttering around the courtyard, the palace residents speaking to each other, wondering why the knights are back so soon. Another tendril of dread twists around Joe's heart, because of all their worries, they never suspected the forest itself might not let them pass.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We rode in the direction of where the others had entered, and we found them all gathered together. It had been the same for everyone," Sir James says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What did Nile say?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She said we should try again, as a group, to keep ourselves from getting lost, and we did try, ma'am," his voice breaks, barely, right at the end. "We did try, but we lost each other. Once, we came up to a place where only two horses could ride abreast between two trees, so the third rider decided to go off to the side, around the trees. He never came back."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The kitchen boy is back with more water, and James pauses to drink before handing the cup back. Once the boy is gone, Sir James continues. "Twice, when we had to ride single-file, we would hear the person at the end of the line dropping behind, but when we turned to call to him, he was gone. It—It spat us all back out again, only this time, we weren't unscathed. Lady Isa's horse put his foot in a hole and went down, crushing her leg. Sir Tieg's face and arms had been torn to ribbons, his clothes as well. We asked him what had done it, but he won't speak."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What could be so bad he won't speak of it?" Joe asks, trying to keep his voice steady, trying not to think of Andy, shrinking further into herself until finally, she disappears from them forever.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, my lord. He won't speak. At all." He turns back to Quynh. "We'll rest for an hour and ride out again with fresh horses, but Lady Nile wanted you to know so you would not expect them back soon."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The ropes of fear are squeezing ever stronger around his heart, and for the first time since the knights rode out, a tiny part of Joe loses faith.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Andy will die,</em> that part says. <em>She'll die, and Quynh will never recover.</em> Joe tries to tamp it down because it's not his turn to fall apart right now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Deeper, quieter, barely there at all, a voice hisses to him. <em>After Andy dies, Quynh will die of grief, and you will be alone.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe digs his fingernails into his palm until he can feel the skin break, and for now, the voice is quiet again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Stopping for a breath, Sir James takes in his queen's face, the tightness around her eyes, the way her lower lids are tinged with blue from sleeplessness. "I'm so sorry, Your Majesty. We won't give up."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know you won't, James. It mustn't have been easy to deliver this news, but I appreciate it. Thank you, and when you see her again, thank Nile. She is always my champion, even away from the tournament field."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Majesty," James says, inclining his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Turning on her heel, Quynh walks back into the palace. Her back is straight, and her head is high, and only someone who knows her as well as Joe does can see the way she's walking just a little slower, the way her hands are still tight around her tunic.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's mind is whirling, trying to make any sense of this news. How do they even fight this? Creatures, sure, they expected those, but they can't even get that far. All he wants to do is get to Quynh's chambers, close the door and fall apart for just a minute.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Instead of going to her quarters, Quynh turns up a hallway leading to several more seldom used guest quarters. Because she didn't say not to, Joe follows her. Seemingly at random, she stops and lets herself into one of the rooms. When Joe goes to step in behind her, she stops him in the doorway.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Andy hates this room. Did you know that?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I didn't."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh nods. "She thinks the angels painted on the basin are creepy, and the pattern of the curtains makes her dizzy. She likes the chest in the far corner, and that's all."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe frowns at her, unsure where this is going. He's surprised at how steady his voice sounds as he says, "They're ugly curtains; she's right about that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her wry huff of laughter is barely audible. "Close the door," she says. When Joe moves to step into the room, she shakes her head. "Go outside. Close the door."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He can see her right hand, no longer gripping her tunic, clenching into a fist and releasing, over and over. Every part of him wants to protest, but she's a grown woman. If he tries to push this, she'll use her Queen Voice on him, and she hates doing that. So instead, he does as she asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As soon as he hears the click of the door latching closed, the swearing starts.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Like thunder, there's a crash of something hitting the wall and the tinkle of shards cascading to the floor. Joe can hear fabric tearing, wood splintering, and the howling wail of Quynh screaming. It's a horrible, haunting noise, and it just goes on and on.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With his back against the wall, Joe sinks to the floor. He presses his fist to his mouth, forcing his lips shut so he won't sob. Quynh knows what it feels like to lose the center of her world; it's how they both felt after they lost their mothers. She's railing against that now. She's cursing fate, cursing the doctor for failing, and the forest for refusing her knights. She's demanding to know why she has to keep losing people like this.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the destruction stops, and her screams have turned to sobs, Joe thinks he can hear her chastising Andy for her stubbornness, then apologizing and begging the fates not to take her love.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Finally, the door creaks open, and Quynh stands there, eyes red-rimmed but dry. Her hair is even more of a mess than it was when she went running out of her chambers less than an hour ago. How has it been less than an hour? He pushes himself off the floor.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She holds out her hand to him. There are scrapes across her knuckles, and most of her nails are broken. Joe slips his fingers between hers and squeezes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you hungry?" she asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>No. Even the idea of food has his stomach roiling, but he wants there to be food for her if she wants it. "Not right now, but I'll ask the kitchen to send a tray." She nods.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm going to go be with her," Quynh says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>All Joe wants is to sit next to her, hold her hand; all Quynh wants is to sit next to Andy doing the same. He won't be another person she has to look out for right now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I think I'll ride out with the knights when they leave," he says, and no one is more surprised than he is.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe. Yusuf. No."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is that an order, your majesty?" She flinches at his words. "You need to be next to her, not next to me, and if I have to sit here for the next who knows how many days, doing nothing but wishing into the fireplace, I will—" He sighs. "Let me at least try."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"To me, you are amazing, and you know that, but you're a poet going into—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm a poet, yes, but I'm also a storyteller. Who better than a storyteller to out-think the forest? What could it hurt?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What could it hurt?!" It would be a scream if her voice weren't in shreds. "You heard what they said about the injuries. If you go in there, Joe, if you die?" She swallows and forces the words out. "I would be risking losing you both. You're my only family, the two of you. You know what you'd be doing to me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's cruel of her to drive that point home, but she's right. Given how little hope she has for Andy right now, Joe is risking the chance of leaving her alone in the world. He has her hand pressed between both of his. Leaning forward, he rests his head against hers. "I do, but I would also do anything to keep you from hurting, including succeeding at this. Who would try harder for you? Who would fight more to get back here than me?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a long moment, the hallway is silent, and Joe knows she's making up her mind, one way or the other.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh bares her teeth and digs the jagged edges of her fingernails into the palm of his hand. "Don't you make me mourn my only brother, you asshole." She opens her eyes, looking straight into his. "That one's an order."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He wraps one arm around her, pulling her close. "I promise. I <em>promise</em>."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If you're going, go now. Don't wait for the knights; they'll try to talk you out of it, and three people always travel slower than one." Joe nods against the top of her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll go put some things in a bag."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Come see me before you go."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He nods again, kissing the top of her head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Despite never having gone on a quest for a magical elixir—and don't for a second think that he doesn't see the irony of the court storyteller going on this adventure—he finds it only takes him a couple of minutes to pack. He shoves a change of clothes in his satchel, along with an empty water-skin, and flint and tinder in a small box. They all sit next to the pencil and paper that he always takes with him. Realizing this won't be a trip with leisure time, he takes out the book he always carries.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His hand is on the door handle; he's ready to leave when he stops and walks over to the tall chest of drawers in the corner. He takes a deep breath and pulls open the top drawer. Reaching his hand in, he feels around until he finds the edges of the bundle, closes his fingers around it, and pulls it out. The knife had never been carried as anything other than a ceremonial ornament, the tooling and decoration on the handle making it nearly impractical as a weapon, but in his later years, Joe's father had taken to sharpening it. Since his death, it's rested here, along with the honing stone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He tucks it into the satchel without unwrapping it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he gets to Quynh's chambers, Joe stares down the page on duty. "I'm telling you, and you're telling your fellows, keep the ministers away. Make them go through the secretary, and only let the secretary in twice a day. Understand?" The page nods, eyes wide.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh answers his knock with a quiet, "Come in, Joe." She's standing by the fireplace, fiddling with the ring she keeps on a chain around her neck, rolling it between her fingers and rubbing it across the seam of her mouth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm going to say it again, even though I know you won't listen. I just have to know I said it." Joe nods, understanding what she means. "This isn't a job you have to do; it's not a job you should do. There are things you could do here even if I'm with her, you—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Stop." His voice is as kind as he can make it. He's so afraid right now. He's terrified of losing Andy, of watching Quynh lose her, and worse, of losing Quynh herself. The image comes into his head, of Quynh yesterday, with her wild hair and broken nails, and a part of him envies her that release. Joe's fear is just churning inside him. This trip will at least be something tangible he can do, can try.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She nods, and it's such a sad, resigned smile she gives him. "You'll have to pass Lykon's on the way out of town. Stop in and see him, find out if he's got any information that could help you at all." She waits for his nod before looking back down at the ring and spinning it around her finger. "She gave me this. It's got her family's sigil on it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe steps closer, looking at the ring in the firelight. "It's lovely."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's far too big for my finger, for either of us, really, but that didn't matter. Not to her. She said it had been in her family for more than eight generations, and since I was her family now, I should have it." She pulls the chain over her head. "You're her family, too. You're <em>our</em> family."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The chain is a warm weight coiled in his palm as she closes his fingers over it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Bring it back, Yusuf. If she wakes up and finds out you went off and lost it getting killed in the forest, she'll murder me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He hugs her one more time, ignoring the fat, silent tear rolling down her nose. He tells her he loves her and that he'll do everything he can to come back to her in just the same condition he was when he left. "Eat before you go," she says. "And have the kitchen pack you some food." He nods, and then there's nothing left to say.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Walking out of the room, leaving her standing by the fireplace, he tries to ignore how loud the voice in his head is screaming at him to stay.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As he approaches Lykon's rooms, Joe can see the window to his study standing open. On an ordinary day, the sound of a small explosion followed by a string of cursing and an acrid smell might worry him. Today it doesn't even make the top five things terrifying him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Answering Joe's knock, Lykon ushers him in. "I don't have anything else for Her Majesty to try yet, but I'm working on it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know she'll appreciate it, but that's not why I'm here."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lykon cocks his head. "Oh?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Though, I am still here for her, in a way." He shifts his weight, resting his hand on his satchel.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lykon doesn't miss the movement. His eyes flick back up to Joe's face. "You're going out there, aren't you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe nods. "The knights weren't able to get to the spring on their first try. Or their second." Lykon doesn't look surprised. He settles into one of the chairs by his lab table and gestures for Joe to do the same. Over the next four minutes, Joe tries to retell Sir James's story as faithfully as possible, with none of the embellishments he'd typically add. At no point does Lykon's expression change.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Were you expecting that?" Joe asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe arches a skeptical eyebrow, and Lykon shrugs. "I truly wasn't. That's the point, Lord Yusuf; I wasn't expecting that because when it comes to places like that, you can't expect anything." He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Expectations come because there are rules to be followed or broken. You expected the knights would be kept out of the forest entirely or that they'd get to the center, even if it took longer than they wanted. Because those are the rules of a forest as you know them. The terrain can be crossed or not crossed."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lykon sits back in his chair. "Terrain that you think you're crossing that then spits you out, having used up precious time?" He shrugs, palms up. "That wasn't anywhere in your rules or mine, so the outcome wasn't in our expectations. The reason you're surprised and I'm not is that in the time since you and her majesty left yesterday, I've compiled all my notes on the forest, and I think I've learned the only constant truth of it." He leans forward again, making sure Joe is looking at him. "Whatever rules you think exist? They don't apply there. No rules apply there except the rules it sets for itself, and none of us can know what those are."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lykon stands and crosses to the small table in the corner of the room, where he starts putting together a plate of food. Joe crosses his arms over his chest, closing himself off with a frown. "I'm a storyteller. I make up fantastical tales all the time; I think I might be a little better equipped than you fear."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, my lord, you aren't. Even in your tales, there are rules to follow or break. Heroes win or lose, monsters live or die, quests succeed or fail. The monster doesn't spend the rest of the story in some terrible half-life with the hero's sword halfway into his heart." He puts the plate on the table in front of Joe. It's cured meats, mostly, and cheeses, a few slices of dark bread smeared in butter. "Eat that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I ate before I left the palace."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And you'll eat this now." He settles back into his chair. "It would be best for you to be as well-fed as possible before you go in there. I'll make you a bundle to take with you as well." At Joe's look, Lykon shrugs. "There are no rules, it's true, but when it comes to magical places? It's never a bad idea to bring your own food."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Cricket is a sweet-tempered blue roan who's usually up for whatever Joe asks of her, but today she's not pleased with the pace he's keeping, and she's making her opinions known. She's side-stepping to avoid entirely fictional obstacles just to knock him off his balance; he's sure of it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know," he says. "I'm not happy about it either, but I promise when we get there, we'll slow down." For the moment, he believes what he's saying, and he hopes that's enough for her. Either way, she settles a bit and behaves for the last hour of the ride. Not long past noon, the trees start to thicken along the trail, and soon the only light hitting the path is dappled through the leaves.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He slows Cricket to a walk, trying to decide if this is the right place to enter. Reaching into his tunic, he pulls out the chain with Andy's ring and runs his thumb over the pattern in the metal. He's fidgeting, he knows, but this is a crucial choice—No. No rules. He's going for the center; anyplace is a good spot to start from. His decision made, Joe urges Cricket back into a trot until the fourth time he has to duck under a low branch.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sliding out of the saddle, Joe rubs the splash of white between her eyes. "Well, my girl, I did promise you'd be able to slow down. Let's take it on foot for a while, eh?" She tags obediently behind him as he follows the path. "Then again, I suppose it's all on foot for you, isn't it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When a narrow stream crosses the path, Joe hops over it, while Cricket happily splashes across.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Should we mark our path, do you think? Or would that be pointless given what Lykon and the knights said?" He's quiet for a second before asking, "Do you think they'll make it? The knights, I mean, and Nile?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Stopping, Joe looks back at his horse. "You're not a very good conversationalist, are you Cricket?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Maybe she just finds you boring."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe whips his head around, trying to find the source of the voice. As his eyes search the trees, his hand curls around the hilt of his shortsword. For most of a minute, it seems like the voice came from no-one and nowhere, then a twig cracks to his left, and Joe turns to see a stranger leaning against a tree.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's not armed; that's the first thing Joe notices. Or at least he's not armed in any way Joe can see. Perhaps he's got a dagger strapped at the back of his belt or a sling in his haversack, but there's no sword at his side. The lack of a visible weapon calms Joe's heart enough for him to take a deep breath and consider the rest of the man.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not much is discernible from this distance, especially not with the slanting afternoon sun at the man's back. He seems at ease and clearly isn't threatened by Joe's presence.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pushing off the tree, the man steps out into a bit of a clearing between the two of them, the dark leather of his boots and breeches so soft and well-worn he doesn't make a sound.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe tugs at Cricket's reins, and she follows him as he steps forward as well, shifting just enough that the sun isn't coming directly into his eyes. Blinking, Joe's eyes adjust to the new light.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Green</em>, is the only thing Joe's mind supplies as the stranger's face comes into focus, then <em>No, blue. No—</em>He stops trying to guess, though whether it's from an inability to decide or just choosing to stare instead isn't clear. The only other eyes Joe has ever seen like these are Andy's.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hello," the man says as a smile spreads across his face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In Joe's chest beats the heart of a poet, an artist, a romantic, a heart that longs for transcendent moments of souls meeting and fate shifting around them. He tightens his hand into a fist, as if closing it around that foolish heart, and instead of thinking of destiny, he thinks, <em>Not. Now.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What are you doing here?" Joe asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The stranger stares at him for a moment before he says, "Hunting. What are <em>you </em>doing here?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm here to find the spring, at the center of the forest."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His smile falters a bit, going tight around the eyes. His hands on his hips, the stranger drums his fingers against his breeches. Joe sees muscles flexing in his forearms below where his blue shirt sleeves have been pushed up. He takes two steps toward Joe. They're close enough for Joe to be able to make out the width of his shoulders, the angle of his jaw. If this were any other day in the woods, Joe would be looking at this stranger waiting to feel lightning strike like it had for Andy and Quynh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's not any other day in the woods, and for once, Joe doesn't even imagine a future or a romance; he's only thinking about how to get this man out of his way so he can get moving to the spring.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm trying to decide - has no one told you about this forest, or are you just reckless?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm desperate."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's hand strays up to Andy's ring. He tries to hide the gesture by rubbing his neck, hoping it comes off as nervous fidgeting. The stranger's eyes flick down to follow the path of his fingers, then back up to meet his eyes. Joe will have to hide the ring as soon as possible; the last thing he wants is to have it torn from him and stolen.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's beautiful. Did your sweetheart send you with her favor hoping it would remind you of her womanly charms and inspire you to return?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can feel a muscle twitch in his jaw as he clenches his teeth. They've been for less than a minute, and already the stranger is getting under his skin. "My sweethearts don't come with womanly charms. Regardless, this ring was a gift from my queen, not a lover."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The man arches one eyebrow and considers the ring again, smirking. "My apologies, I should not have assumed." He meets Joe's eyes again. "If by some improbable stroke of luck you make it to the spring alive, you'll never get back out of the forest. What could possibly be worth more than your life?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Someone else's life." The stranger steps closer, waiting for Joe to go on. <em>Green</em>, Joe thinks. "My queen. My—My sister. Her wife is dying.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The stranger's eyebrows go up, disbelief clear on his face. "Your sister?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She and her wife are my sisters in every way that matters to us. Anyone who thinks that blood is more important than trust, love, and loyalty is a fool." Joe nearly spits the last few words, and the stranger takes a step back. "They've both lost too many people already; I won't watch them lose each other, not if I can help stop it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Why he's justifying his reasoning to a complete stranger like this, he doesn't know, but Joe is hitting his limit. He doesn't have time to sit around defending himself and his family just for sport.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Sending you to the spring is like sentencing you to die; how can someone do that to their brother?" The stranger's voice shifts to a taunt. "To someone they love so much."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can feel the edges of Cricket's reins biting into his fingers as he clenches his fist. "I told her I was coming." The stranger crosses his arms over his chest, but before he can speak, Joe beats him to it. "I didn't volunteer, I just told her, and I didn't give her a choice. If I don't make it, she won't have my death on her conscience."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>This, of everything Joe's said, startles the stranger into a confused blink. "So you've stepped into your death out of the goodness of your heart. There's nothing in it for you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He tries, as much as he can do so with his voice, to put his foot down. Enough. "Andromache is kind, she's generous and loving, she's a good queen, and she deserves a long life." Later, perhaps, he'll be embarrassed at the way his voice cracks as he says, "They're the only family I have. Now, since I don't require your permission, I believe we have nothing further to discuss."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The stranger rakes his hand through his hair. "I have to get home before long, but I can help you to the bridge and point you in the right direction from there."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe stares at him. "Why would you do that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Stretching his arms over his head, as if this entire conversation has been a relaxing break, the stranger smiles. The dark blue leather of his jerkin pulls tight across his chest. "Let us say it's one hunter looking out for another, eh?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you." It's simple, unadorned gratitude.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You'd better leave your horse. There are some places she won't be able to cross, and when the terrain gets worse, you'll be faster on foot."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With some branches acting as makeshift fences, Joe hobbles Cricket within easy distance of the stream they'd crossed earlier. She'll have water and grass, and he shouldn't be long. He rubs the velvety softness of her nose and whispers, "Wish me luck," so quietly he's sure the stranger can't hear him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Ready?" the stranger asks, and Joe nods. "Do you have a name?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe blinks. "Yusuf. My friends call me Joe."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Right, Joe, you probably better call me Nicky then. Stay close; I don't have time to track you down if you get lost."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky sets off down the path, Joe behind him, hurrying to catch up.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He's made worse decisions in his life, more rash, more foolhardy and reckless, but this is already one of the worst, and he made it less than a minute ago.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tuesday, I said. That's when this chapter was supposed to go up, but I got antsy and I love some bits of it so much I wanted to share it as soon as I could. </p><p>Please note- if you're avoiding hunting entirely, skip from "Joe sidesteps a root growing across the path" to "Are you saying that you're able to survive"  and the paragraph that starts "I think she despaired of me." If you're skipping even slight references to meat preparation, stop when Joe says, "I can get a fire going" and pick up at "Now the hard part."  If there's anything else I should note, let me know.</p><p>(Also, I feel like this is the oddest comment I've ever had to make but-- no, it's obviously not unicorn.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He's made worse decisions in his life, more rash, more foolhardy and reckless, but this is already one of the worst, and he made it less than a minute ago.</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p>Reaching up, Nicky holds a branch out of the way so Joe can follow. There's an urge, sudden and strong, to let go of it and let it hit Joe in the face, but Nicky ignores it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They walk in silence for nearly half an hour before Joe finally speaks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Some of my queen's knights, even her champion, tried to get through the forest yesterday but had no luck. A few were wounded."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course, they didn't. The forest decides who travels these paths, not the people. Right now, Joe would be on his way out, or worse, if Nicky wasn't escorting him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is <em>that</em> who was crashing around in here scaring away the game? Making a racket like that, it's no wonder the forest had no time for them." Nicky casts a glance back over his shoulder. "I told you this is a dangerous place."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe sidesteps a root growing across the path. "Yet here you are, hunting and moving through it with no fear. How is that possible?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There's something like an accusation in his tone, and Nicky doesn't like the sound of that. In an attempt to alleviate some of Joe's suspicions, Nicky decides to be honest, if not entirely candid. "I've been hunting here since I was very young. One of my earliest memories is my father teaching me to track rabbits, not ten minutes' walk from here."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you saying that you're able to survive because you know this place so much better than anyone else?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, I'm saying perhaps the forest likes me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A branch snags at Nicky's shirt, and he pulls it free, careful not to tear a hole. Apparently, the forest disagrees with him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It likes you," Joe says, and at least the accusation is gone. Nicky can deal with the incredulity instead.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's as good an explanation as any." Nicky shrugs, though the gesture is probably wasted, given that Joe is ten steps behind him and mostly looking at the ground.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Regardless of the explanation," Joe says. "I am in your debt."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky stops, turns back to Joe, and stares at him. "Careful," he says, much more gently than he'd intended to. "This isn't a place where you want to be beholden to anyone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After that, neither say much until the sun gets low enough to turn the trees golden.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The bridge is still a few hours away. We should stop, get some rest, and start again at sunrise."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm fine to push on."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No." Nicky knows he sounds like a stern parent, but this is not a topic that's open to negotiation. "If you want any chance of getting to the spring and then back to your queen, don't try to cross that bridge at night. Believe me, you think you'll be saving time, but you won't."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hands wrapped around the strap of his haversack, Joe's eyes lock on Nicky's, intense and searching. He won't find anything there; Nicky has it all hidden far too carefully. Not far from them, something scuttles through the undergrowth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Tell me where we should stop. I'll help gather wood for a fire."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Good. That's good. If he just keeps following instructions, Nicky might be able to get him past that bridge alive.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe manages to get the tinder to catch and the fire to start not long before full dark. It's not a big fire, but it's enough for warmth. Still, Nicky pulls a short cloak from his bag and drapes it over his shoulders.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Should one of us keep watch," Joe asks. "I can hear enough things moving out there to know we're not alone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tossing a stick into the flames, Nicky shakes his head. "No, there's no need for that tonight." Across the fire, Joe's dark eyes are huge and fathomless. "The things you can hear moving are more scared of you than anything else. You probably smell strange and foreign. That and the fire will keep them away."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe doesn't need to know how much of that is a lie.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pulling a strip of dried meat from his pack, Nicky holds it out to Joe. When Joe hesitates, he says, "It's fine. It's rabbit, not some strange magical creature."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He can see Joe's eyes get the slightest bit wider as he draws back from the offered food. "No. Thank you. I brought my own."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Well, at least someone's told him something about how to handle himself here. Nicky's no fae, with complex rules about hospitality and charmed food, but Joe has no way of knowing that.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Good because I lied. It's unicorn." Nicky tears off a piece, chewing it and watching Joe's frown deepen. "It's a joke, Joe."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Across the fire, Joe's face pinches into something like a smile, and Nicky reminds himself that it's good if this man doesn't trust things here.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No one eats unicorn jerky," Nicky says. "It's far too tough." </p>
</div><div>
  <p>As if Nicky offering him food has reminded Joe exactly how dangerous this place can be, the rest of the evening is passed in tense quiet. It's only broken when Nicky pulls his cloak further around himself, settles himself so that his head is resting on his haversack, and mutters, "Goodnight. Get some rest if you can."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Goodnight," Joe says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before long, Nicky's breathing evens out, but it takes Joe at least another five minutes before he wraps himself in his cloak, stretches out by the fire, and pulls his bag under his head like a pillow.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ten minutes later, when Joe's quiet snoring starts, Nicky gets to his feet as quietly as he can. He snags his water-skins from where they're hanging on a tree branch, steps out past the ring of light from the fire, and slips away into the night.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not far from their camp is a small stream that Nicky can reach in only a minute or two, but Joe wouldn't find in ten years. Crouching by the stream, he fills his water-skin and listens to the sound of the forest at night. To his right, something small is exploring in some dead leaves, a shrew maybe, or a young rabbit. In the trees above him, Nicky can hear the night birds speaking to each other. It's not often that he gets to hear these sounds quite like this, and he's simply enjoying himself.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The booming voice speaking to him from across the stream shatters the quiet like glass.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Startled, Nicky loses his balance, and only grabbing onto a nearby rock keeps him from slipping into the stream ass-first. He scans the area across the water, looking for the owner of that voice. Perched on the branch of a fallen tree where it's jutting over the water, Nicky sees a weasel staring at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky glares back. "Can you please keep your fucking voice down?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sure-footed and sleek, the weasel hops from that branch to another, then picks its way across a few carefully chosen rocks. Its golden coat looks silver in the tiny bit of moonlight peeking through the trees.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When it reaches the rock next to Nicky, the weasel sits up on its back legs and cocks its head, regarding Nicky with its little, glittering black eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We are not having this conversation with you like that," Nicky says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The shudder starts at the base of the weasel's tail and works its way up. The edges of its fur begin to blur and stretch. No matter how many times Nicky sees this, he's still horrified and fascinated in equal measure. When the shuddering stops, a man is standing on the rock. His glare is just as intense as before the shift. Like so often before, Nicky thinks that he's never seen someone who looked both exactly like a weasel and nothing at all like one at the same time.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Just now, the most significant difference between the man and the animal is that the animal has a coat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky sighs. "And I'm not having it with you like <em>that</em> either." He takes his cloak from his shoulders and throws it to man. "Cover yourself up and—please, try not to let it touch you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you scared of me?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, I just don't enjoy the idea of sleeping under a cloak that's been rubbing against your dick."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The man cocks his head again. "You don't <em>have</em> to sleep in your cloak."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky thinks, <em>I never sigh as much in my entire life as I do when I'm talking to this damn weasel.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What do you want, Booker?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Just what I said. I want to know what you're doing. Or at least what you think you're doing."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not doing anything."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh? So I can go back to my other voice?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't!" Nicky hisses.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No. Right. You don't want your new friend seeing this part, do you? So I'll ask again. What. The fuck. Are you doing, Nicolò?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm helping him get to the bridge."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"<em>Why?</em> You didn't help any of the rest of those idiots who came thrashing in here yesterday, slicing their way through the trees."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You understand I don't need to explain myself, don't you? I have my reasons. That's enough."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Booker turns, looking back to where he can see Nicky and Joe's campfire in the distance. "You can't trust him."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The fact that he's still in the forest and still alive says you don't."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky tries to slice through Booker using only his eyes. Booker is unmoved.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Does he know that he can't trust you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No. Because right now, he can. For the moment, we have a common goal."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Suddenly, Booker looks impossibly sad. "Oh, Nicky."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He turns away, and in a blink, Nicky's cloak is in a pile on the rock, and a little golden weasel is running out from under it and off into the woods.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As Nicky watches, his cloak goes sliding off the side of the rock, one side of the hem dipping into the water. "Fuck!" He reaches out to grab it and drops his water-skin. Frustrated and tired, Nicky can only sigh again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Fucking ferret.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Nicky makes it back to the camp, he hooks his full water-skins on the same branch and tucks some berries into a scrap of fabric in his haversack. The fire is burning down, so Nicky adds another couple of small logs.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He bunches the haversack up under his head and pulls his cloak around himself again, trying not to think about where it's been. Across the fire, Joe has rolled on his side, and he's facing Nicky, sound asleep. He looks warm, with his short cloak tucked around his shoulders. His hands are folded together under his chin, and his mouth has fallen open just enough for the slick, pink inside of his lip to catch the firelight.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Why do you suppose,</em> he asks himself, <em>the pretty ones are always so fucking much trouble?</em></p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's incoherent shouting wakes Nicky out of a dead sleep not long before dawn.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's failed out with all four limbs, kicking some of the dead logs in the fire circle and nearly flinging off his cloak entirely. It's clear to Nicky that Joe's still not entirely awake.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His head snapping around to look at Nicky, Joe's eyes come into focus.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It was just a dream. Whatever happened, it was just a dream."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's face crumples. Sitting on the ground, he hugs his knees to his chest and rests his forehead on them, curling in on himself. "I know," he says, and Nicky pretends he can't hear the rawness in Joe's voice. "I know it was just a dream."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks up, his face a mystery. "Not right now."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky nods. "Okay." Looking through the trees, he can see a dark blue stripe at the bottom of the sky. "Dawn isn't far off. If we pack up now, we can make the most of the daylight.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Right." Joe digs the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Right, yes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You have a couple of minutes. Eat something, get your wits, we'll set off when it's light enough to see the roots that cross the paths. Any sooner and you'll just trip over one and hurt yourself."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I won't be the only one, then."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky stares at him. "Given how well I know this forest? Yes, you will."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Nicky deems it light enough, they kick the ashes and coals to keep the fire from catching again. With a last look around the tiny clearing, Nicky sets off on the trail, the sounds of Joe following just behind him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They're quiet for most of the first hour, concentrating on waking up and watching the path, but when they come to a break in the trees, Nicky stops to look around. It's a point of high ground, but to Joe, it just looks like an unbroken sea of trees in front of them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We're getting there. Another two hours, I think."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe steps up next to him, close enough for Nicky to smell his sweat, and Nicky mentally kicks himself again. This decision keeps getting worse. There are too many things he has to pay attention to right now. Nicky is comfortable around beautiful men, and he's comfortable in this forest, but the two together are making his head hurt.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I can't imagine learning to hunt in a place like this," Joe says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky turns and starts down the path again. "Where did your father teach you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The path widens slightly, and Joe jogs a bit to draw even with Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He didn't; he had a head for figures, not weapons."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I shouldn't have assumed. Your mother?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nodding, Joe reaches up and holds a branch out of the way, just as Nicky had done the day before. It's a strangely touching moment for someone like Nicky, who is used to being the one on the lookout. "Of the two of them, she was the one who could handle herself on a tourney field. People say she was—special."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You say that as though you don't believe them."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, it's not that. I just never had a chance to form my own opinion. She was gone before I had a chance to see her compete."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky thinks he knows how this story goes, but when he looks over, he can see Joe's jaw clenched tight, so he lets the question go unasked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did she teach you to use that as well?" Nicky points to the shortsword hanging from Joe's belt."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Like he's not even aware he's doing it, Joe rests his hand on the hilt. "She tried. I could barely lift the practice sword, and from the area where we practiced, I could see my best friend learning to ride, which seemed much more interesting."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky frowns. "Did someone else teach you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's expression is slightly offended. "You think I'd go traipsing about the world wearing weapons I can't handle?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know, which is why I <em>asked</em>."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They walk for a few minutes in tense silence.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"After she was gone, someone else taught me," Joe says, his voice softer now, like the things he's speaking about are precious and breakable. "I joined the lessons my best friend attended, and we learned together. We still train with a sword master three times a week." He pauses, trying to find his words. "I don't have her talent, but I'm not a danger to myself or you, and I can hold my own if needed." He takes a deep breath, and when he speaks again, it sounds to Nicky like Joe is trying to keep from sounding so defensive. "Who taught you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky startles, not expecting Joe to return any of the questions. "My father. His brothers as well, but not as much. There were some things that only he could teach me, so he did most of my training himself."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Around the next curve in the path, an enormous tree has fallen directly across it. Nicky digs his fingers in, scrambling up to stand on the top. He reaches a hand down, offering it to Joe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky can see the calculations happening on Joe's face. He wants help, but he doesn't know what price he'll have to pay. Nicky's still mostly a stranger, and Joe knows better than to trust these woods without reason. Finally, he looks straight at Nicky's hand, and Nicky can almost hear the thought pass through Joe's head.  <em>He's holding out his hand; how much damage could he do with one hand, and not even his sword hand?</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Fervently, desperately, Nicky hopes Joe never finds out the answer to that question. At this moment, it seems, he's decided to take the risk.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Warm and rough, Joe's fingers slide across Nicky's hand and wrap around his wrist. Nicky grips and hauls, watching Joe find a few good footholds and pull himself up, so they're standing next to each other.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Anyway," Nicky says, as though they haven't gone half an hour without speaking, "you've gotten closer to your goal than every knight who came into the forest yesterday. Perhaps your mother taught you more than you thought."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It takes Joe a second to accept Nicky's peace offering. "Perhaps."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Together they scramble down the far side of the tree.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I think she despaired of me. As a kindness to myself, I say that my hunting lessons never progressed beyond stalking nearly-tame rabbits in the royal hunting reserve because I was so young. It's more likely that she thought a child who did as much reading and daydreaming as I did was just as likely to shoot an arrow into my foot as into a rabbit."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the past day, Joe has been many things; beautiful, prickly, determined, but this is the first time he's been charming, and Nicky genuinely doesn't know how to react.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We're almost there," he says, for lack of any better reply.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Lead on, then."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The silence, tense that morning, is companionable now, and Nicky is so glad he's nearly done because he's doing a terrible job of controlling himself. Soon, Joe will be off across the bridge, and if he listens to Nicky's advice, he should make it the rest of the way without too much trouble just so long as the forest trusts that Nicky knows what he's doing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What books were you reading when your mother thought you should be training?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Whatever books I could find. Living in the palace meant that I had access to the library there. I believed I was the luckiest child alive. When I was ten, I thought I could learn every story there was to know. I wanted that so much. Sometimes I feel like I got close."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is her majesty's royal bard looking over his shoulder, worrying that you might take his job?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks up into the trees. "No. I'm pretty confident I won't steal my job from myself."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Nicky looks at him, one side of Joe's mouth curls up in the smallest, quietest smile. It's barely there, but it's so real.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're the bard?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Court poet, technically, but I do the storytelling as well. Sometimes a little bit of singing, but not often."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're on a quest in the mysterious forest, Joe."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm aware of the irony, yes. Thank you." Joe rolls his eyes, and a spike of fondness stabs right through Nicky's heart.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>You can't trust him.</em> Booker's voice echoes in his head, and as much as Nicky might wish otherwise, the weasel is right. He knows how little it takes to turn a rational person into someone dangerous to Nicky and all he holds dear, which is why Nicky never entirely trusts <em>anyone.</em> Ten minutes more, fifteen at most, Nicky can almost hear the river. After that, whether or not to trust Joe won't be an issue for Nicky anymore.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they reach the bend in the last curve before the bridge, Nicky turns to Joe. "As a storyteller, how much of your stories do you have to invent or embellish?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Some."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Not this one," Nicky says, stepping up onto the upper path.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's not impressive, not from here. Nicky knows that all Joe sees is a swiftly-flowing, but ordinary river, the bridge stretching over it would probably take less than a minute to cross at a steady walk. Joe probably thinks Nicky is imagining things, but that won't last for long.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"This is as far as I go," Nicky says. "Once you're across the bridge, follow the left fork in the path. After that, any time the path forks, stay left. Also—this is important, Joe. Look at me." Joe turns away from the river and meets Nicky's eyes. "First, once you're on the bridge, do not look down. Just keep walking; it's only a bridge. Second, in this forest, if it's beautiful, it can kill you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Even—" Joe cuts himself off.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"There are a lot of beautiful things in this forest."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, and they can all kill you. Some of them will definitely try. Remember what I said, and it'll help you stay clear of the worst of the dangers."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you, Nicky."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Reaching up, Nicky pats Joe's hand where it's squeezing his shoulder. "Take care of your sisters. Be careful. And if you make it out? Don't ever come back here."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe nods.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Stepping back, Nicky says, "Goodbye, Joe. Good luck."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's less than a dozen steps away before he thinks,<em> I'll just watch to make sure he gets across</em>, and goes back. What he sees as he rounds the corner is exactly what he feared.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Just past the halfway point of the bridge, Joe is standing, frozen, staring down into the water.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh, you fucking—I said don't look down." Joe can't hear him, of course, not with the distance and the water, but that's not the point. Nicky steps onto the upper path and approaches the bridge.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe! Keep walking!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks over his shoulder, one guide rope in either hand, eyes wide as saucers.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Keep walking!" Nicky yells again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is it real?" Joe shouts to him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Only to himself, Nicky says, "Why does it matter? Just follow directions like you did yesterday." To Joe, he shouts, "It doesn't matter, just keep walking!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"IT DOES MATTER!" Joe shouts, twisting at the waist so he can turn back to Nicky. As he does, like Nicky's fear called it into being, Joe's right foot slips off the narrow plank he's standing on, and one hand slips off the guide rope.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky is halfway to Joe before he realizes he's decided to move. Unlike Joe, Nicky doesn't look down. He knows that below him, the forest is twisting and warping the world to suit its purposes, that the bucolic little river is a churning gamut of rapids so far below him that Nicky's mind freezes when he tries to estimate the distance.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't move!" he yells. Though there's no real risk of that, Joe seems frozen in place, with one hand gripping a guide rope and the other holding the strap of his bag as it dangles in the air. With Joe's weight all on one side, the bridge has twisted, and the foot he has on the plank is sliding sideways.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Let go of the bag!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Let it fall, and you'll have another hand to pull yourself up!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks down at the bag, then back up at Nicky. For a second, there's no trace of fear in his voice, as he says, firmly, "No."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's right in front of him now, stretching out his hand. "Then give it to me. I'll hold it, so you have both hands free."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's there on Joe's face, a split second of pause before he nods. Nicky anchors his feet on the bridge, centers his weight, and stretches down to wrap his hand around the strap of Joe's bag.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Below them, the sound of something snapping closed echoes off the walls of the chasm, then the crashing of something unfathomably large hitting the water and disappearing under the rapids.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They stay like that, both holding the bag, as Joe's foot nears the edge of the plank. It isn't until Nicky says, "I have it. I won't let it fall," that Joe's grip loosens.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A bellowing roar shakes the air around them. Nicky swears he can feel the rope vibrating under his hand. The crashing sound comes again, and Joe's eyes clench shut and then fly open.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With his hand free, Joe is up and on his feet in an instant.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As Nicky stands, reaching his hand out to surrender his charge to Joe, the haversack's flap catches on one of the side ropes, and the bag twists. Two cloth-wrapped bundles roll out, and with no hesitation, Joe stretches his arm forward and snatches the smaller one before it can fall.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Both of them watch as the larger bundle falls and keeps falling. In his head, Nicky can't help but count. Two…three… four…</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tearing his eyes away from the bundle's descent, Joe scans the rest of the water, squinting to make out details below the white of the waves. "Where is it?!" Joe's voice is frantic. "Nicky, where did it go!?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky knows the bundle won't hit the water until somewhere between nine and ten. Or it would, but just as he would have thought <em>six</em>, a mouth appears, a chasm half as wide as the river, round and dark with rows of teeth stretching down into the black of the creature's throat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When it breaches the water, Nicky can see the rest of it, the edge of the mouth where the spines start, as though it has teeth on the outside as well. Just where the spines stop, four huge fins propel the creature of the water. Its green-black body stretches behind it as the creature leaps toward the bridge. It stretches up and up, splitting the air with a piercing shriek.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In a moment of terrifying absurdity, Nicky watches the bundle disappear into the creature's mouth just before the jaws slam shut, so much closer to the bridge than either Nicky or Joe would want.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Shaking his head, Joe looks at Nicky, "So it is real."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's going to kill him before the creature gets a chance. "It <em>doesn't matter</em>. I promise you; I will discuss the nature of reality and belief with you for as long as you want, <em>after</em> we're off the bridge. Go!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pulling the strap of the bag over his head and across his body, Joe turns, carefully, and walks the rest of the way across the bridge as fast as he safely can. He keeps his head up and his eyes on the trees in the distance, and he doesn't stop until he's close enough to a tree to put his back against the trunk and sag to the ground.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky collapses next to him. Out of the goodness of his heart, Nicky waits until Joe's breathing has returned to normal to say, "I did tell you not to look down."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You didn't think to mention why?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Would that have kept you from looking down?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe buries his face in his hands, his fingers fisted in his hair.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It felt longer once I was on it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It was. It always is. As soon as you step onto it, everything changes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Or I believe it changes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I get it, Nicky. I do. If my heart gives out from sheer terror before that thing's mouth closes around me, whether or not it actually exists is immaterial. Just like it doesn't matter how far away that water is if I'm not alive when I hit it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky feels like his entire body sighs. "No, it doesn't matter at all."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The forest has warped the depth and size of that river every time someone's crossed that bridge for as long as Nicky can remember, but he's never seen the river monster before today. Whether it's Joe himself or the way Nicky has been helping him, something about Joe's quest has the forest increasing all its defenses. If Nicky lets Joe continue on this journey alone, he won't make it through the day. <em>Shit.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky needs him to survive this trip, needs him to get out of this forest alive, and if that means going with him, then that's what has to happen. A small voice in the back of his mind asks if he ever intended to let Joe go alone, but Nicky refuses to answer it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Joe lifts his head, Nicky asks, "What fell?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My food. Before I left, I got some from the palace kitchens and some from— someone else. I wrapped it all together."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But you grabbed the other one."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe pulls the smaller bundle out of his satchel and unwraps it. Resting on the cloth is a dagger in its sheath. Nicky has to clench his fingers closed to keep from reaching out for it. The handle is silver, intricately tooled with jewels inlaid in the design, onyx and sapphires and rubies so dark they're almost black.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Where Nicky's knife has a pommel, this one has a viciously curved antler tip, dark and shiny from centuries of use. The sheath is tooled as well, though not as heavily ornamented as the handle. It's a beautiful piece of art, but nothing exceptional, until Joe slips the knife free from the sheath and Nicky can't hold back a little gasp. Along the length of the blade is etched a pair of dragons, coiled together.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky can make out the scales along the dragons' backs and the wisps of smoke coming from their outsized, snarling faces.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"When I was young, a group of this breed lived in the caves north of the forest, and my grandfather would point them out to me as they flew over on their migration path. We would make up names for them."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>'That one is called Blood Wing.' Nicky would say.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>'You think?' his grandfather would ask. 'I think he looks more like a Carl.'</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky misses his grandfather more than he can say.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's your mother's dagger, isn't it?" Nicky asks without looking up.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's "Yes" is barely more than a whisper.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"When I go hunting with my bow, I put one of my father's arrows in my quiver. I never loose it, but if it's with me, then he is too. A little."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky stands, dusting the dirt from his knees. "Time for us to get moving again," he says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not going back before I find the spring."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I didn't say you were, but you're not doing it alone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not a child, and I don't need a minder."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Good, let Joe think that's Nicky's reasoning. Anything to keep him from trying to figure it out on his own. Nicky's already made enough mistakes around Joe. He doesn't need anymore.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's another day and a half of walking, perhaps two. Maybe I just want you to spend the entire time behind me, watching me walk in leather breeches."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky is rewarded with the sight of a flush creeping up the sides of Joe's neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll be watching the trail and looking out for danger."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'd expect nothing less." Nicky grabs his satchel and slings it across his body as he starts down the left branch of the trail.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He isn't sure how long they walk without speaking. It could be five minutes, and it could be two hours. The silence isn't uncomfortable, and Joe's presence behind him is reassuring, even as well as he knows this path. The problem is that if he lets Joe get in his head too much, it'll make the upcoming challenges even harder.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your mother's dagger is exquisite, but it seems like it would be difficult to wield. I hope she didn't try to train you with it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe huffs a little laugh. "It's ceremonial. It wasn't meant to be used."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How did she come to have a ceremonial dagger, and why in hell would you bring it with you to the forest?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>At first, there's no response, as though Joe is collecting his thoughts or trying to decide how to tell Nicky to mind his own fucking business.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My mother was-- I told you she competed in tournaments? That dagger was given to her after she became Queen's Champion."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky kicks a rock from the middle of the path. "As a prize?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, as a -- It was a gift, from her majesty. "</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your sister?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There's that little huff of a laugh again. "No, her mother. It belonged to that queen's great-grandmother. My mother's queen said it was meant to protect the queen, so her champion should have it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Joe seems to trail off, Nicky looks back over his shoulder to see Joe frowning, his gaze fixed on a spot somewhere near Nicky's right boot.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"For my mother, it was more than that. "</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky lets the pause linger, waiting for Joe to settle on his phrasing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Neither of my parents' families approved of their relationship. My mother's family thought my father wouldn't be able to support her; my father's family thought tournaments were a frivolous waste of time. None of their complaints were serious, but they were never-ending. After a year or two, the friction started to wear my parents down." Joe's voice shifts and deepens, and Nicky tries to imagine an older version of Joe speaking to him. "'Even a trickle will wear through a rock if you give it enough time.' That's what my father said when I asked him why they left."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The path widens, and Nicky slows just enough to let Joe draw even with him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe takes a deep breath like he's shrugging something off his shoulders. "Regardless of their reasons, they moved to this kingdom a few years before I was born. My father got a position as a clerk; my mother took whatever work she could get. She moved from one thing to another for the first year, and when the palace jousting master decided to retire, he chose my mother to replace him. After another year, she started competing again, and when the time came for the queen to pick a champion--" He trails off, and when Nicky looks to the side, he sees Joe, staring up into the trees.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No one else even came close. That's what he said. Not that he was an impartial judge." He turns to Nicky and says, with the smallest shrug, "She won, that's what's important."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe drops back as the path narrows again, and Nicky doesn't think about how, for a minute, it felt like they were just two people on a walk together.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Having this dagger—My mother said that she wore it sometimes as a reminder that she had nothing to prove to anyone. Not my father's parents, not the other competitors, no one. She was trusted to protect the queen herself, and everyone else could fuck off."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"From the way you describe her, she was an extraordinary woman."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It would seem so." There's a pinch in Joe's tone, and so much of Nicky wants to stop, sit, and talk like friends. Instead, he keeps walking, staying quiet in case Joe wants to say more. "That's what everyone says, anyway. Everyone who knew her." His voice drops so low that Nicky's not sure if he's mean to hear it. "I used to be so jealous of them, of the stories they had, of the time they got with her. I remember almost nothing from before she died."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now, it seems, it's time for the question Nicky didn't ask earlier, before they'd survived the bridge together. "You were young then?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Seven. She never wore the dagger if she was going to be riding beyond the city walls. So it was still on the table beside her bed when she rode out with the queen to meet an envoy from another kingdom. They were meant to be exchanging treaty paperwork, but there was an ambush. Everyone in the queen's party was killed." Nicky can hear him swallow. "Everyone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky lost a beloved uncle when he was nearly the same age, and he still remembers nearly every moment they spent together, can conjure up the sound of his voice even now. It's possible Joe honestly doesn't remember, but it's more likely he's keeping those memories to himself. How precious must his memories be for him to keep them clutched to his heart like that? Nicky wants to tell him that letting those stories out doesn't mean they don't live in his heart anymore. It makes them more real, not less.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Still, they're barely more than strangers, not yet at the point where Nicky feels comfortable spouting sympathetic advice to him. If the forest behaves, they'll never get to that point, which is probably for the best.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After a minute, Nicky says, "I'm glad you let the food go and grabbed that bundle instead. Food is replaceable." Behind him, he hears another quiet huff, the smallest laugh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The rest of the afternoon passes mostly in silence. From time to time, Joe will ask a question about the terrain, or Nicky will point out something in the distance that Joe might have missed. Nicky knows the other shoe will drop before long, but for now, for the briefest window, they're just two people on a walk in the woods.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He shouldn't have asked so many questions. He sees that now. Every new thing Nicky learns about Joe will make it harder to carve him out of Nicky's mind later. This was always a temporary truce. They'll reach the spring soon, possibly tomorrow afternoon, if they can keep up this pace, and one way or another, that will be the end of this. Some secrets can see the light and not spell disaster; they can be confessed without swallowing the lives of everyone who hears. Not Nicky's.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Earlier than the day before, Nicky finds a small clearing not far from the path where they can spend the night.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We don't need to stop yet," Joe says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We do, though. Yesterday we had food to eat when we stopped; today, we don't."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe nods. "Right. You're right. I can get a fire going if you can find something to cook."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That would be—yes. That would be good. I'll be back as quickly as I can."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's lucky enough to startle a rabbit only a few minutes' walk from where Joe is building a fire, so Nicky uses some of the remaining daylight to grab a few fistfuls of wild greens and few safe mushrooms he finds near a dead tree.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>True to his word, Joe has a decent fire going by the time Nicky makes it back. He stops, scanning the ground around them, finally finding a couple of flattish rocks hiding under some dead leaves.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Dragging them over, Nicky gets them as close to the fire as he can without them being in it. Once the game is dressed and Joe's been entrusted with keeping it just above the flames, Nicky uses a stick to nudge the rocks back from the worst of the heat before scattering the greens and mushrooms over them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now the hard part. Nicky searches for the right words to put Joe at ease about the food without giving too much away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"All of this is safe to eat."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Meaning the mushrooms won't poison me or…?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Meaning this is all safe to eat. In every way. It's hard to know, in a place like this, what you can eat without—" Nicky searches for just the right word. "Consequences. So I'm telling you, this is all— there won't be any unintended consequences if you eat it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Okay," Joe says. "Okay, then." Gingerly, he picks a mushroom off the rock and tests it between his fingers to see if it's soft. Apparently, he's pleased with the result because he tosses it over to Nicky, who snatches it out of the air.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He who provides the food gets the first bite," Joe says. Maybe Joe is just watching to see if anything happens to Nicky when he eats it; maybe he's grateful for the food. Nicky decides that it doesn't matter.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When they've both eaten, and Nicky's put another log on the fire, Joe sits back, resting on his elbows, and stretches his legs out in front of himself. Maybe it's the meal, maybe it's the conversation about their families, maybe it's surviving a day like today, whatever the reason, Joe seems to have relaxed quite a bit, and Nicky wonders if this is the real Joe he's seeing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That was the best meal I've ever had. Thank you, Nicky."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You eat in the palace every night; how are dry rabbit and bitter greens the best meal you've ever had?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know if you recall, but we nearly died earlier today. I've gotten into some scrapes in my time, but that's the only time I've ever been sure I wouldn't survive, and for the rest of my life, in the back of my head, I'm going to be hearing that thing's jaws snapping shut in my nightmares. So yes, the chefs at the palace are wonderful, but nothing they make will ever taste as good as the meal we just had."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky meets Joe's eyes across the fire, looking for any sign of mockery. The only thing he sees is absolute sincerity on the face of this beautiful man.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"In that case, fair is fair. You've seen my talent; I want to see yours."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's eyebrows shoot up, and his entire body goes tense. "What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky grins. "Tell me a story, Joe. Tell me about one of those scrapes you got into."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Later, Nicky will divide his life into two parts, and the dividing line will be right now, this moment when Joe looks at him across the fire and starts to laugh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His eyes glitter in the firelight, and the laughter carves deep creases at the corners of his eyes. Even after the laughter fades, dimples flash in his cheeks, and a smile stretches across his face. "Oh, Nicky," he says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky wants to step away from the fire and scream so loud and so long that he can be heard by whatever cruel force put this man in his life for this reason, at this time. There will be time for that, he supposes, after Joe is gone, so instead, he listens to Joe tell him about one near-miss after another, always with his sister by his side.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eventually, Joe is yawning more than he's talking, and Nicky says, "I'm going to sleep, and you should, too. You can tell me more stories tomorrow."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Lying there in the dark, waiting for the sound of Joe's breathing to change, gives Nicky far too much time to think.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>This man shouldn't be here. He's not allowed here. The forest has safeguards and wards, and it has them for good reason. These are the rules, and Nicky's never fought them; he's never had a reason. He knows, absolutely, that he's doing the right thing by helping Joe get to the spring. If he's honest with himself, he was never going to let Joe go on alone after the bridge; the stakes are too high. Could he have volunteered to go to the spring himself? Yes, perhaps. Every time he thought about the possibility, his mind would race on to imagine Joe, curious about the forest, wandering off to his death. Who would take the water back to his palace then? Nicky? And how would that conversation go? 'I have some magic water that I promise will heal your queen. Also, I can't tell you who I am or why I'm helping or what happened to the man you sent off on this errand.'</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He would be in irons in the dungeon before he could blink, and the only thing Nicky truly fears, other than the forest herself, is the idea of being trapped. Once they found out the truth, and they would, Nicky would spend the rest of his life caged and tormented and prodded. Just the idea of it is bringing up a cold sweat on the back of his neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Across the fire, Joe starts to snore. As he had the night before, Nicky grabs the water-skins and sets off for the nearest stream.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The weasel, of course, is waiting for him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky sighs. "Just say what you have to say so I can go to sleep. It's been a very long day." He bends to fill his water skin from the stream, and when he looks up, Booker is standing where the weasel had been. He's leaning against a tree, as naked as he had been the night before.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm going to burn this when I get home," Nicky says as he tosses his cloak to Booker.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're really going to take him all the way there, aren't you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Because he's so very pretty?" Underneath the veneer of humor, Booker's taunt has a bite.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I have my reasons, I told you. And I still don't owe you any explanation."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Really?" The smile falls from his face. "What about the guardian beast, then? The spring is protected by the most dangerous, terrifying thing in this forest. Even that thing you saw in the river, assuming it's real, is stuck in the water, but the guardian best doesn't have that problem."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What are you getting at?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"For centuries, there has always been a guardian beast, and all of them have had one purpose - to keep those waters safe. What's going to prevent your pretty man from being attacked as soon as he walks into the clearing?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Booker," Nicky says, and the warning is clear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, Nicolò. I want to hear this. You're saying he won't be torn limb from limb like others have been in the past? That his heart won't be ripped out of his chest?" Booker's voice has been getting louder as he talks</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No! "</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I want to hear you say why!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Because I don't <em>want</em> to!" Nicky shouts. "Because he's not like the others in the past, he's not doing it for selfish reasons. And because I may be a terrifying beast, Booker, but I'm not a mindless animal!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know that Nicky; I just had to hear you say it." He sounds confused and angry, but most of all, he sounds betrayed. "I needed you to look me in the eye when you said you were deliberately endangering every creature in this forest because that's what you're doing!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's shoulders sag, drooping like the fight has been wrung out of him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he speaks again, Booker's voice carries something almost like regret.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He'll kill you, you know? When he finds out, he'll hunt you down and kill you. He'll mount your head on his wall and use your pelt for a rug. Not only that, but when he goes home and tells his friends at the palace, they'll come back for the rest of us, and I will end up as the lining of Her Majesty's winter gloves."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a split second, Nicky remembers those knights riding into the forest yesterday and tries not to think about how it could all have gone so wrong. "I won't let that happen." Booker snorts, disbelieving. "I'm the most dangerous, terrifying thing in this forest. You said so yourself."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, but you're also an idiot." He sounds so exasperated Nicky almost laughs.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not so much of an idiot that I don't realize what's at stake. I do know what I'm risking, but I also know that this one time, it's worth it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He's not taking the water back for himself, he's taking it back for his queen."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That's no different from every other champion you and your ancestors have sent running out of the forest in terror. They were all here trying to take from the spring so they could give it their king or queen."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Except, this time she's entitled to it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Booker's body goes completely still. "Are you going to elaborate on that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fuck you, Nicolò."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know, but if you didn't trust me at least a little, you wouldn't be standing here with me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We're not finished talking about this."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky jams the stoppers back into his water-skins. "We are for tonight. I have things I need to do, and you need to shift back before you freeze your little ferret feet off."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Nicky looks up again, the weasel is glaring at him. Grabbing his cloak, Nicky walks away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>That fuzzy little bastard is right, of course. Nicky is endangering them all, including himself. All he can do is hope that the lessons his family instilled in him, about instinct and loyalty and what it means to be a guardian, actually sunk in. He's flying on instinct right now and desperately hoping his instincts can be trusted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The problem, of course, is that even if Nicky weren't coming to know Joe, to trust and understand him a little, he'd still be making sure Joe made it out of the forest with the water his queen needs. It's been a very long time since he had any, but Nicky remembers what family means.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There's no good solution; Nicky's just aiming for the least bad.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A stray breeze picks up the hair at the nape of his neck, and suddenly all Nicky wants is to not be in this skin. He leaves his clothing and water-skins in a pile on the ground and lets the shift take him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As soon as the shift is complete, Nicky knows this was a bad idea. All of his senses are keener, and in this form, he can smell Joe on the wind. If he strained, Nicky could probably hear Joe snoring. Having his senses full of Joe while he's in a form that may not be mindless, but is absolutely still an animal, is making Nicky want to knock over a tree or some other incongruous display of what he'd bring to a relationship.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not willing to give up the feeling of dirt under the pads of his feet, Nicky turns and runs in the opposite direction until the temptation is no longer there.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>An hour or so later, Nicky is approaching the campfire, still only halfway into his shirt, when he hears a twig snap. He freezes, hoping there's a chance Joe slept through that.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Of course. The sound of something skittering away through the leaves makes Nicky grind his teeth. Leave it to that fucking weasel to find a way for Joe to catch Nicky sneaking back to the fire.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm right here," he calls, putting a little jog into his stride. When he steps into the ring of light cast by the fire, Joe is propped on one elbow, looking very sleepy and very confused. His gaze follows the movement of Nicky's fingers to where they're lacing up the neck of his shirt, and suddenly Joe's eyes are wide and alert. Nicky can see his throat bob as he swallows.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky decides just to pretend Joe didn't see anything and hope that Joe starts to wonder if he imagined it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I must have stepped on a branch; I'm sorry I woke you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe scrubs at his face with his free hand. "No. It's fine. It's good, really. That wasn't a dream I wanted to keep having."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"As bad as last night?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe frowns, as though he's surprised Nicky remembers. "Worse."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You don't have to talk about it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I know." He sits up, drawing his knees into his chest. "Last night it was—I kept dreaming of things I wanted so desperately to be real. I saw Quynh waiting for me inside the palace courtyard. She was smiling, and she said—" He stops for a breath. "She said she knew I wouldn't fail, that she always trusted I would make it back. There was Andy, too. She was awake. Awake and well and happy. She and Quynh were sitting at a table with their heads together, laughing about something only they understand. It's—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks up into the canopy of the trees. Nicky follows his gaze and sees the lowest leaves dancing in the heat from the fire. When he lowers his gaze again, Joe is staring at him with those warm, dark eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"This sounds strange, but that's my favorite way to see them. I love seeing that even more than I love laughing with them because every time, I'm reminded that—that stories like theirs happen. That they're possible." He shrugs.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <em>Maybe for you.</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"This one tonight," Joe rubs his palm across his forehead, his face twisted in a near grimace, then sighs, wrapping his arms around his legs. "It was the opposite, in every way. Quynh was there again, in the courtyard, but she was screaming at me, telling me I was too late, days too late. I looked to the side, and I could see in the corner of the courtyard someone had dug a grave, and there was a body next to it, wrapped in a shroud. The face was hidden, but I knew. I knew it was Andy."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky can see Joe trying to calm his breathing. He digs the heels of his hands into his eyes. Nicky remembers that same gesture from earlier in the day and kicks himself for letting this be a thing he notices.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She told me to leave," Joe says, barely above a whisper. "She told me to leave and not to come back. When I tried to apologize, she told me if I really loved her, if we were really family, then I'd have come back soon enough to save Andy. Then she said—she said, 'I hope the forest swallows you whole.'"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a moment, neither of them says anything. Nicky's the one who breaks the silence.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know what possible way I could, but if I can help, I will."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Tell me it won't happen again, that if I fall asleep again, I won't dream my sister ripping my heart out with her words."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With absolute sincerity and nothing to back it up, Nicky says, "It won't happen again."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's laugh is small and fragile. "I believe you. Really, though, listening was the only way anyone could have helped, and you've already done it. Thank you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Reaching behind him, Joe finds another piece of wood and puts it into the flames.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky stretches out by the fire, his cloak balled up under his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Will tomorrow be easier?" Joe asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Do you want me to answer that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Go to sleep, Joe." He can hear Joe arranging himself under his cloak and repositioning his satchel as a pillow.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Goodnight, Nicky."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Joe's breathing evens out, Nicky whispers, "I'm not accusing you of giving him those dreams, and I don't want to know if you did. I just want him to be able to sleep through the night without another one like that. If there is some way you can make that happen, I would be grateful enough to stop calling you a fucking ferret." Nicky grits his teeth and tries not to think how badly this next part could backfire on him. "And I would owe you a favor."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nearby, something scurries down a tree and runs off into the night.</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Y'all, I'm putting a shapeshifting Booker in everything I write from now on. He's a blast.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first thing Joe feels is warmth along his back. He's been cold at night in this forest, but now he's warm from his head to his toes. The second thing he feels is breath on his neck, which means the warmth behind him is someone else.</p><p>That someone's mouth starts sucking kisses up the side of his neck until they can whisper into his ear.</p><p>"Joe?"</p><p>With a happy hum, Joe drops his head away, baring the side of his neck in a blatant grab for more kisses.</p><p>"I've been watching you sleep, and I couldn't wait any longer for you to wake up on your own." Nicky kisses the spot just behind Joe's ear and—that's Nicky. That mouth kissing and whispering to him is Nicky's, and it's as good as he knew it would be every time he let his guard down long enough to imagine it.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two things: 1) This is the chapter where we start to earn our E rating. This one isn't as heavy with it as later chapters, so if you're not here for it, bail now. 2) In the endnotes I've put start-stop points for people looking to avoid situations with characters in peril as well as those avoiding any hunting/fishing references (including the food prep). </p><p>If you have something you'd like for me to tag for or something you'd rather not trip over accidentally, please ping me over on tumblr (I'm <a href="https://werebearbearbar.tumblr.com">werebearbearbar</a>), I'd be happy to talk to you about your concerns and see how I can make this story more accessible for you. It was a serious labor of love and I want everyone who might be interested in it to be able to read without being anxious about things like that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Joe feels is warmth along his back. He's been cold at night in this forest, but now he's warm from his head to his toes. The second thing he feels is breath on his neck, which means the warmth behind him is someone else.</p><p>That someone's mouth starts sucking kisses up the side of his neck until they can whisper into his ear.</p><p></p><div>
  <p>"Joe?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With a happy hum, Joe drops his head away, baring the side of his neck in a blatant grab for more kisses.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I've been watching you sleep, and I couldn't wait any longer for you to wake up on your own." Nicky kisses the spot just behind Joe's ear and—that's Nicky. That mouth kissing and whispering to him is Nicky's, and it's as good as he knew it would be every time he let his guard down long enough to imagine it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe reaches back with one hand and threads his fingers into Nicky's hair and fuck, it's soft and thick and the perfect length for Joe to fist his fingers into it and tug Nicky's mouth tighter against him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky chuckles into Joe's neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is this a dream?" Joe asks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What does it matter, Yusuf? Would you want me to stop if it was?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>At the sound of his name on Nicky's lips, the skin on Joe's arms prickles into gooseflesh. "No! I'd want you to—I'd want more."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's hand slides around Joe's ribs, coming to rest over his heart and holding him close. He's kissing Joe's neck again, and Joe wants nothing more than to purr. Nicky leaves one soft sucking kiss at the hinge of Joe's jaw before moving onto his cheek. One finger reaches up to catch Joe's chin and nudge him around until Nicky can kiss his mouth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's groan is shamelessly greedy even to his ears.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Beautiful man who makes beautiful noises. What am I going to do with you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Anything you want," Joe says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Look at me. I want to see your eyes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Blinking against the light, Joe tries to focus on Nicky's face but can't help taking in the details around him. He can't make out everything, but it's clear they're in a house, not on the forest floor.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fuck, I am dreaming."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Do you still want more?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes," Joe nearly growls. He turns in Nicky's arms until they're face to face and pulls him close for the kind of kiss Joe didn't even know to hope for.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's slick and hot, and Nicky's skin feels so good under his hands. Joe traces Nicky's back muscles, feels them shift under his fingers as Nicky rolls his body against Joe's. Ducking his head, he nips at Joe's neck. He feels Nicky's body shift, and suddenly he's on his back with Nicky above him. With a sly grin, Nicky slots one thigh between Joe's legs, and he can't help but rock against it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The kisses seem to go on for days, with Nicky's reassuring weight holding him to the bed and those broad clever fingers twined in Joe's hair. He's drunk on this, his head full of the smell of Nicky's skin and the taste of Nicky's mouth. Joe rolls his hips up again, delighting in the friction of skin against skin until, suddenly, Nicky pulls away.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But--"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky quiets him with a finger over Joe's lips, then sits back, so he's kneeling astride Joe's legs. He smirks at Joe as if to point out that he had his reasons for stopping, and Joe should never have doubted him. Reaching down, Joe rests his palms on Nicky's thighs, needing to feel him again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Nicky's hand grips him, Joe hisses, and he can feel his fingernails biting into Nicky's skin. He's sure, he's positive nothing could ever feel better than this. It’s an opinion he holds right up until the second Nicky replaces his hand with his mouth. Joe makes a sound like a whimper and puts his hands on Nicky's head. Not holding, not guiding, just petting, stroking all that soft hair.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the outside world hits him, it doesn't creep into the dream and lead Joe back to consciousness. It strikes him like a slap. One moment he's looking at the crown of Nicky's head, hoping he'll look up so Joe can see his eyes, the next, he's awake, flailing his arms out to steady himself as he sits upright.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I said it's time to get moving."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky is standing at Joe's feet, probably having nudged one of Joe's feet to wake him. Joe swallows and looks away; he can't look at Nicky right now. He--just can't.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Right. Yes. Good." Joe stands, dusting the dirt and leaves from his breeches. "I'll just--" he points vaguely at his satchel and cloak still resting on the ground.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His fingers still feel the ghost of Nicky's hair slipping between them, and his legs still feel the heat of Nicky's thighs pinning them together. What's worse is that it'll be immediately apparent to anyone with a line of sight on his groin that Joe's mind is still in that dream. There's an intricate dance of angles until he can get his satchel over his head and positioned in front of him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm ready when you are," he says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As they walk through the trees near their camp, Joe notices broken branches on either side of the path. "I'm not as good a hunter as you, but from these signs, it looks like something massive came through here."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Even more reason for us to be on our way."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Foolishly, he'd thought that nothing could make his interactions with Nicky more awkward than the first night's dream had, but now he's trudging through the forest half-hard, staring at Nicky's ass.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He hadn't lied when he told Nicky about that dream; he just hadn't told the whole truth. In that dream, he did see Quynh waiting in the courtyard, just as he'd said, but Nicky had been right behind her. When she'd finished speaking, Nicky stepped forward and opened his arms, smiling. He'd wrapped Joe up in a hug that had felt desperately, viscerally real, down to the way Nicky's hair had tickled his nose when he pressed a kiss just behind Nicky's ear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>'I've been waiting so long to hold you,' he'd whispered, and Joe had felt—he'd felt like everything about himself was precisely as it should be, he'd felt at home in his skin in a way he hadn't since before his mother died.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Later in the dream, when he'd seen Quynh and Andy sitting at a table with their heads together, Nicky had been beside him, their fingers twined together, and Nicky's thumb was rubbing across Joe's knuckles.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quiet moments, both of them, and simple, but sweeter and truer because of it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>By the time the sun has burned the mist from the forest floor, Joe's managed to put both dreams behind him, for now at least.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's hand is fishing around in his pack, finally emerging victorious, clutching strips of the jerky he'd offered Joe the first night.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's not much, but it's what we can do without hunting. I'll keep an eye out for berries and other things as we walk." He holds one of the strips out to Joe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As Joe is reaching out to take it, Nicky says, "And for the record, it's deer."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe thinks about the unicorn joke on the first day, and he can't keep from grinning. Nicky blinks, and a small smile flows across his face, curling his mouth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you," Joe says. Lykon warned him about eating the food; even Nicky had been clear to say that the food last night was safe from obligation or payment, so Joe knows that eating food given to him here comes with risks. He trusts Nicky, though, at least somewhat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky had come back for him on the bridge yesterday, and they'd worked together to get across. He'd given Joe space and time to talk about his mother if he wanted. Then, when Joe was ready to talk, Nicky actually listened.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>They've traded stories, cooked together, and made themselves vulnerable in sleep. Whatever this interaction is that he's having with Nicky, it's like nothing Joe's ever known. It's not quite a friendship, or perhaps more accurately, it's not <em>only</em> a friendship. They've gotten to know each other better in two days than many of Joe's friends will know him even after years. So, yes, he might call Nicky a friend, were it not for the thread of tension and teasing that seems to be constant between them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It's not love, either. Joe knows what it feels like to fall in love, and it feels almost nothing like this. For Joe, love starts with an instant attraction, days in bed, grand declarations, and that knot of excitement he always feels. It's lightning and thunder and passion.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With Nicky, Joe isn't trying for a romantic future, so the drive to make himself desirable, to lay his heart at someone's feet and hope they accept, is gone. In its place is a steadily growing trust. He finds Nicky beautiful; of course he does. But their time together has been mostly listening to each other. Whether it's Joe telling stories or Nicky talking about the forest, the other is listening.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Last night, still feeling the rush of narrowly escaping the bridge, Joe's past instinct might have been for them to come together and fuck that energy out of each other. Instead, they'd joked together other a little, watched the stars, what few of them they could see through the trees, and been grateful for their lives.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Maybe it's two days of coming to know each other under circumstances more trying than he's ever experienced, maybe it's the memory of those imagined kisses; either way, something in him says Nicky isn't tricking him about the food. Joe's father, if he were still alive, would be holding his forehead in one hand and sighing as he said, "Yusuf, there is no good reason to trust the food in a magical forest." Frankly, though, if Nicky is tricking him, the food is the least of his worries.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With a swig from his water-skin, Joe washes down the last of the jerky. "I haven't wanted to ask because you are helping me save the life of someone I hold as family, but how far away would you say we are?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If the forest behaves? We should be there before sunset tonight."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's heart leaps up into his throat. There's a very real chance that by this time tomorrow, he could be well on his way home. He wonders if he'll need an escort even to get out again. Not that he'd mind another day or two with Nicky, as long as they kept up the pace. They'd get back to Cricket where Joe could tuck the water-skin into his saddlebag and set out for home, and Nicky—and Nicky—Joe takes that train of thought and stuffs it down to the bottom of his satchel, weighs it down with his mother's dagger and his father's honing stone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The beast at the spring, is it real?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What? Why would you ask that?" He kicks a stone from the path. "Careful; there will be loose rocks for the next stretch."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Well, it's the tale we tell children to keep them in bed at night, isn't it?' Stay in bed, or the Beast of the Spring will eat you.' But no one can agree on anything about it. Our court scholar thinks the beast doesn't exist, or rather he thinks the stories about it aren't true. At the same time, one of the kitchen boys thinks it looks like a giant insect, one that will pierce you with its limbs."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky laughs, shaking his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pleased at having gotten a reaction, Joe continues. "His friend working the spit thinks it's a giant frog with spines and fangs. Perhaps they're both wrong. Perhaps it's got four heads, each more terrifying than the one before. Then again, maybe it can breathe fire or has the body of a snake and the head of a man."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Maybe it's got a cock like a table leg," Nicky says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe nearly trips over one of the rocks Nicky had warned him about only moments before. "What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky looks back over his shoulder. "Well, as long as we're making things up, why not make up everything?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Does it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky stops, turning to stare at him. "How would I know?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You seem to know everything else about this place."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No one could ever know everything about this place." Nicky starts walking again. "As soon as someone came close, the forest itself would change. That's part of its defenses."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My question stands, will we have to face it when we get there? Will <em>I</em> have to face it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Honestly, Joe, I have no idea what will happen when we get there. This forest is unpredictable at the best of times. Right now, it feels threatened by even the fact that we're walking through it toward the spring."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No idea?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Something in that doesn't sit right.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What are you hiding?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Really? Now is when you decide not to trust me? And if I were to tell you that yes, there's a terrifying beast who guards that spring, that it's got claws the size of your hand and tusks the length of your arm, what would you do between now and when we get there? How would you prepare for that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe doesn't have an answer. There's no time to train or study tactics; if something like that is waiting for them, Joe is as prepared now as he'll ever be.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's a little like the river monster, I guess," he says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It doesn't matter if it's real or not. The rest of today is the same. We wouldn't walk slower or faster, and we wouldn't take a different route just because we knew. I'd approach the spring with the same sword drawn whether that creature is real or not because even if it isn't, I won't go in unarmed."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I suppose, but just as important, anything that attacks you in that clearing will be attacking me, too. So if I knew how to prepare you, I would. I really have no idea what the forest will send at us, Joe. I promise you that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe has drawn up alongside Nicky while the path is wide enough. He's watching Nicky's face. "I believe you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Do you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I still think you're holding something back, and I want you to know you don't have to. But I believe you about the spring."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Then we're probably both fools."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's laugh is quiet and resigned, but it's there.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Just before midday, the forest gets darker as the tree growth gets dense. More and more roots are growing across the path. The trees Joe can see are dripping with huge pink and purple flowers, their petals veined in white.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"In this forest, if it's beautiful, it can kill you, right, Nicky?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's scanning the trees, looking for any sign of movement. "We need to get past these trees, then, or whatever is hiding in them. I don't even know how trees could kill us, but between you and this forest, I trust you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Shit."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>On his next step, Nicky picks his right leg up high enough to slip a vicious looking knife from his boot. "Draw your sword, Joe, and If something gets past me, kill it. Don't hesitate, not even for a second."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe pulls his sword free of its scabbard and holds it at the ready. He's keeping his weight low and his stance wide, trying to be ready for things his mind can't even conjure. Nicky's gaze flicking is back and forth between the trees and the ground. He's still trying to go as fast as possible without taking his eyes off their surroundings.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's eyes are on the ground when Joe sees the trees move like a breeze is blowing through them. The vines appear to be moving in the wind until Joe sees one unwrap itself from the trunk of a tree and lash out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your left, Nicky!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before Joe can get to it, before Nicky can even finish turning to face it, the vine shoots forward and wraps itself around Nicky's neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pivoting, Nicky angles down with the blade, severing the vines as far away from his neck as he can. They shrink and coil back on themselves before falling to the ground. "Take it!" Nicky shouts, ducking away and turning to face the next threat.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe sees the ball of vines that had struck out at Nicky, laying still on the path. He does the one thing Nicky was clear on, he hesitates.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As if it's uncoiling and knotting itself together at the same time, the mass of vines stands, balancing on two makeshift legs. It reaches out, trying to snatch Joe's sword away with one of its limbs. Just as it does, there's a flash of sunlight on metal, and Nicky's blade slices through the middle of the knot.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't hesitate, Joe! Once they're upright again, they're ten times harder to kill."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"<em>They?"</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did you think there would only be one? Why would the forest only send one when it could send hundreds?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Another vine creature steps onto the path and reaches to grab Nicky by the hair. It pulls him close and begins to tighten. As it does, it opens an angle for Joe to drive his short sword straight into the writhing center of its mass. There's no scream, no death throes, it just goes limp and falls to the ground, or it would if one of its vines weren't still coiled in Nicky's hair. Arching backward, Nicky slices through it, flicking away the bit still touching him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes! Like that!" His eyes are blazing as he shoots Joe a frantic, breathless look of victory. For a second, his face softens, his voice softens, and he just says, "Thank you." Before Joe can respond, Nicky's eyes go wide, and he ducks under Joe's arm to run at the plant creature coming up behind them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The point of Nicky's knife skewers it just off-center, and without pulling the knife out, Nicky pivots and swings out with his arms. Like they'd planned it this way, the movement slingshots it toward Joe, letting him slice it nearly in two.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Both of them stand at the ready, straining to hear the slightest movement in the trees. For now, all is silent. When their breathing is back to normal, Nicky wipes his blade clean on one of the vines, then kicks the remnants of those creatures off the path. Joe grabs a handful of leaves and uses them to wipe the worst of the sap from his sword. When he looks up again, Nicky is looking back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky shakes his head. "That beast at the spring doesn't stand a chance against you." He doesn't say anything more, just turns on his heel, crushing one of the enormous pink flowers under his boot.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Their pace slows significantly now that they're spending most of their time trying to be hyper-aware of their surroundings. Joe does his best not to imagine what the hourglass of Andy's life would look like right now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Please send my apologies to your swordmaster. I shouldn't have doubted you could handle your blade." Nicky's voice is serious, but when Joe looks at him, his eyes are crinkling at the corners.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You seemed surprised by those creatures," Joe says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I was."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I thought you knew this place so well."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know if you noticed, Joe, but those things were moving. If they can move while they're fighting us, they can move from one place in the forest to another. I'd heard of them, that's how I knew they'd be easier to kill when they're down, but I've never seen one, and they've never been on this path before."</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>For an hour, nothing happens. The forest is quiet, the path is clear, and Nicky and Joe begin to relax ever so slightly. "We can't get too comfortable," Nicky says. "They're not finished with us--" He's cut off by a crashing noise in the trees to his left. The blanket of vines that had been smothering one of the trees is now heading for them. This one looks more human than any before it, and that only makes it more terrifying. Its massive legs cover enough ground that Nicky doesn't even have time to warn Joe before the thing reaches out with what would be a hand if it were on a man and covers Nicky's entire face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Panic sets in, and a bitter taste fills Joe's mouth. That thing is going to kill his only hope of getting to the spring. It's going to keep him from getting what he needs to save Andy. For the last week, Joe's been afraid of losing some or all of his family, but he's never been more terrified than this very moment. He can't. He can't let that happen.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Diving to the side, Joe rolls and comes back to his feet with his sword already arcing across the back of creature's leg. With half the vines severed, that leg buckles under the weight. Somewhere above its arms, a few of the vines split open, and a piercing shriek fills Joe's ears. It sounds like nothing he's ever heard before, and his ears are starting to ring. The creature tries to center its balance at the same time it turns to find its attacker. In its rage and drive to find Joe, it lets go of Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Even as he's still coughing and sucking in air, Nicky takes advantage of the creature having its back turned and slices through as much of the other leg as he can. It feels like they trade back and forth, first one striking, then the other, until the creature is in pieces.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you," Joe says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Thank you for distracting it long enough for me to get that first strike in."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh yes, that was my plan all along."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe doesn't look at Nicky because he knows if he does, he'll see Nicky smiling, joking with him, and while his head is still deciding what he and Nicky are to each other, his body knows exactly what it wants from Nicky. Right now, he doesn't need those distractions. He needs to focus.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It carries on like that for hours. Just as they start to think they've seen the last creature, another one or two or three come at them, each one stronger than the last, each kill taking more time. It's well past midday when Joe finally gives up and asks the question he's been dreading.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How long have these things delayed us?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hours, at the very least. We won't make it to the spring before dark."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe spits out every curse word he's ever learned.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm sorry," Nicky says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You have nothing to apologize for, Nicky. It's not your fault, it's theirs! She's dying! This woman I respect and adore is <em>dying</em>, and there's every chance the hours these things have cheated from us will be the ones that make the difference. I'm not angry at you, Nicky I'm just--I'm just so afraid I'll lose her, that my sister will lose her. I'm terrified."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky, who's been walking the entire time, as though he knew Joe wouldn't want to stop, even to break down a little, finally halts his steps just long enough to meet Joe's eyes and say, "I know."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe believes him. Something is hiding in the edges of those words, in the way Nicky speaks them, but now isn't the time to puzzle it out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the three vine creatures step onto the path ahead of and behind them, the only surprise is that there aren't more.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks at each of them, and all he sees is something that's trying to take his family from him. "Two back here," he calls.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"One here," Nicky answers.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The biggest one shrieks at them both, and it's all Joe can do not to scream back. He might, if it weren't a waste of breath he could be using to destroy them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Catch!" Joe whips his head around to see Nicky barreling into the one facing him, put his shoulder just above where the vines split to form legs. The creature, already top-heavy, is driven up and to the side where it lands on the ground. Joe doesn't hesitate this time. Running toward it, he puts one foot on what might be its arm and drives his short sword through the center tangle once, twice, three times before arcing his arm up and bringing it down in a deep slash that goes from one side of the creature to the other.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Need you!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"This one's still moving," Joe calls.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Looking up, Joe sees that Nicky has his knife buried in one of the creatures, while the second creature is coiled around Nicky's other arm.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Head down," Joe says and swings his sword up as he runs toward them. It swings down, missing Nicky's lowered head and splitting most of the vines holding his arm. A second blow finishes the job, and now the monster he's facing is down to one arm.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Out of the corner of his eye, Joe can see Nicky's knife digging deeper into the first creature with every punching stab. He thinks he must be imagining the moment when Nicky buries his free hand into the ball of vines and the creature shrieks.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's let it distract him for a fraction of a second, and in that time, the creature facing him has shot tendrils through the path below his feet, and they're wrapping around his ankles, locking him tight and no. No. These things aren't going to beat him. They're not wasting any more of his time, they're not taking Andy from him, and they're not taking him from Quynh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His sword is still in his hand, and Joe is lashing out to any open spot on the creature's body. Whether his blows have no effect, or it just believes this is a more efficient way to get rid of him, the creature doesn't defend itself or try to grab his weapon. Instead, it reaches out with the arm it has left and snakes its hand around his neck, and squeezes. Joe thinks to shout for Nicky, but a desperate "NIC—"is all he gets out before his throat is closed so tight no air escapes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He doesn't stop swinging at the thing; how could he when he still has strength in his hand to hold his weapon. The thing shrieks in his face again, and the sound hits his face like a wave, carrying with it a smell like rotting leaves. Again he swings out at it, again it shrieks at him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Get down," Nicky says, and Joe does, dropping to the ground even as it pulls the vines around his neck tighter. He's kneeling in the dirt when he feels Nicky's boot land just above his hips. The other boot comes down in the center of Joe's back, and he just has time to think, 'I hope you know what you're doing, Nicky," before his body droops further under the added weight and his vision goes black at the edges.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He can hear his heart in his ears, though it's nearly drowned out by the sound of Nicky is screaming at the thing and it shrieking in reply. Underneath that, if Joe strains, he can hear the wet, slicking sound of Nicky's dagger plunging into sap-filled vines over and over.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Just before Joe gives himself over to the black, the thing shrieks and lets go of his neck. It's reaching now for Nicky, for the thing actively attacking him, and from his knees, Joe's in the perfect position to drive his sword straight up into its body.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The creature drops, but its vines don't immediately loosen, and Joe knows he won't be able to get up before the one he'd left on the ground comes for Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Here!" Joe shoves his sword across the ground far enough for Nicky to grab it. Standing, Nicky puts the sword through the middle of the one on the ground and keeps it pinned there while his knife finishes the job.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe is on his hands and knees, sucking in huge breaths as he watches Nicky wipe the blade of his sword as clean as possible before handing it back to him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Good thinking," he says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe reaches up with the hand not holding the sword, and Nicky takes it, hauling him to his feet. The skin of his palm is warm against Joe's.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I've got good news," Nicky says as he tugs his water-skin from his belt and takes the stopper out of it. He hands it to Joe first.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe swats at the dirt caked on his knees with one hand and takes the water-skin with the other. The water hitting his throat feels so good he almost moans. When he looks up, Nicky's grinning at him. "I figured you might like that," he says. "So, the good news is that I can see it getting lighter ahead. They move, so I can't be entirely certain, but I think we are near the edge of the area of the forest where those things feel most at home."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I will be happy never to see another one of those things as long as I live," Joe rasps. "Did you put your hand into one of them?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky looks down at his hand, as though he's not sure he did either. "Yes, but the sword is much more effective, so if another one comes, use that instead."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Joe tries to laugh, it feels like someone scraping the inside of his throat, but he can't help it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Some ways down the path, Joe thinks to ask his follow-up question. "What's the bad news?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You said that was the good news. There's always bad news, too."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nothing you don't already know. We've been at this for hours longer than we expected, and we won't make the spring before mid-day tomorrow."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Something in the way Nicky trails off is poking at the back of Joe's mind.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What aren't you saying?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We're both exhausted, Joe. The sun won't set for another couple of hours, but…"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If something's waiting for us, we'd only be hurting our chances if we went up against it like this."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe sighs. Nicky sighs.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"There's never a good answer," Joe says. "Find us a spot to stop for the night."</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It takes another half hour, and it's late enough for the sun to be dipping, the light warm and yellow-orange through the trees, so Joe doesn't feel quite so guilty for stopping early. Each time he thinks he's wasting hours of what life Andy has left, he remembers Quynh saying, "Don't you make me mourn my only brother." Neither of them would thank him for rushing into danger, already tired and sore.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky finds a spot not far from a stream, and by the time Joe has a fire going, Nicky's back with the bottom of his shirt pulled up to make a pouch. Joe can see the fish wriggling inside it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Together, Nicky and Joe clean and cook the fish and eat until they're full.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Tell me," Joe says. "This is just the forest protecting itself, yes?" Nicky nods. "I thought you said it liked you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I said <em>perhaps </em>it likes me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Assuming it does, why is it coming after you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky sighs. "Sometimes we do what we think is best for those we care about, and sometimes we're wrong."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The forest thinks it's, what? Saving you from yourself?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe, I would never even try to guess what the forest is thinking. It's far older and far smarter than I could ever be, and its motivations are not for us to know. We just have to survive."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Does it—Can the forest get into your head?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky frowns. "What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm just thinking about the dreams I've been having. Last night, I dreamed I was waking up in a familiar room and a familiar bed, but I've never seen anything like them when I was awake."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What did the room look like?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Stone walls. There were shelves. Blue shelves with carved wooden animals. I remember the blanket on the bed was gray, with animals embroidered at the edges."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The twig Nicky is holding snaps in two, and he quickly tosses it into the fire.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You've never seen a place like that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Not that I can remember. It felt like home, though. It felt like I knew the place, and I felt… it wasn't strange. Not even as strange as a friend's house."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>So quietly Joe almost isn't sure he hears it, Nicky says, "Fucking weasel," before grabbing a piece of firewood, turning, and tossing the firewood into the trees behind him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Something in the undergrowth."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And you think it was a weasel?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Maybe. All manner of horrible things are in this forest; you know that as well as I do by now."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can only agree.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky starts telling him about the various things he's seen in his years hunting here, but before he can get past the first animal, Joe is asleep.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>In this dream, they're in Joe's rooms at the palace.  He recognizes the bed cover and the painted stoneware pitcher on the table in the sitting room. Joe is sitting with his back against the arm of the sofa with a book in one hand. Nicky is sitting snugged into the cradle of Joe's hips, his head on Joe's chest and his book in his hand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can feel Nicky's hair between his fingers, and whenever he reaches up to turn the page, he drops a kiss on the crown of Nicky's head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You'll like this," Nicky says. He reads a passage from the book, the story of a knight on a quest. "I like that he seems to have a bottomless food satchel."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"In the stories, they always leave out the boring practicalities like having to scrounge for food and piss in the woods."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If that's what you remember from our time in the woods, I fear the romance may be gone." There's a laugh in Nicky's voice, and Joe finds that he desperately wants to see Nicky's face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Mmm?" He looks up, hair falling in his eyes, and smiles at Joe. The lines at the corners of his eyes are deeper, perhaps there's some silver in his hair, but he's still the most beautiful man Joe's ever seen.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Moments like this are more romantic than any daring rescue in the forest, and I am more in love with you right now than I have ever been."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's eyebrows draw together, but there's a smile fighting its way to his mouth. "More than when I saved you from being strangled by the vines?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"More than the first time I kissed you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Much more."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How about when I slew the guardian beast at the spring to save you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"More than then, yes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's eyes soften. "Yusuf," he says, and Joe bends to kiss him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Feeling Nicky's hand sink into his hair, Joe deepens the kiss. That he gets to kiss this beautiful man every day of his life is a dream come true.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With a couple of smaller kisses, Nicky pulls away. "I'm sorry I don't give you daring rescues like that anymore." Joe almost makes a joke until he sees that Nicky is serious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You have nothing to apologize for, Nicky. I've had my fill of being blinded by my notions of romance only to be disappointed, taken advantage of, or rejected. Huge banquets twice a year won't keep a man fed all the other days. I'll take a lifetime of you looking at me as you are now over any showy gesture."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The corners of Nicky's mouth twitch, and Joe would spare him the tears, even happy ones. Another kiss is all it takes for Nicky's smile to reappear.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Perhaps you don't believe me," Joe teases. He drops his book to the floor and strokes that hand across Nicky's chest in broad sweeps that creep ever lower with each pass. "Should I remind you how much even the simplest gesture can bring joy and pleasure into the life of someone you love?" He snakes his hand down over Nicky's stomach and under the blanket that covers his legs. Nicky's favorite blue shirt has gotten rucked up around his waist over the course of the afternoon, leaving him bare from the waist down. With nothing to interfere, Joe cups his hand over Nicky's mostly-soft cock. "Take this, for example," he says.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He can feel Nicky's length swelling in his hand, filling his grip. Joe wraps his fingers around it and starts a lazy, leisurely stroke. "This is a very simple gesture. I'm barely moving my arm at all, am I?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No," Nicky says in a voice like smoke.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Does it still feel good to you? Does it still make you harden in my hand and strain for more?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, Joe. Yes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're not disappointed by such a small gesture?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You wouldn't rather I stopped and saved it up for one grand moment in a few months?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky grabs Joe's arm just above the wrist and hisses, "Don't you dare."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe laughs; he has to. As if he would ever stop once he's started hearing the little moans Nicky makes as he twists his wrist mid-stroke.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He squeezes just hard enough that Nicky grunts and arches up into the touch. His exquisite Nicky, skin burnished in the firelight and chasing his touch. Joe wonders how there had ever been a moment in that forest when he thought he'd be able to walk away from this man.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you thinking that this isn't enough and that you doubt my love?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No. Never once. Joe, please. I love you. Love you so much."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh, Nicky, I know, and I believe you, but I never grow tired of hearing it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Faster, please. Make me come like this, and I'll—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Whatever the Nicky of his dreams might have said is lost as a hand on his shoulder shakes Joe awake.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He sits bolt upright, startled and scanning the area around their fire. It's daylight, and the real Nicky is crouched beside him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Time to go."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes. Of course. Yes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Once his mind finally catches up, and he realizes that the tenderness he'd felt, the love he'd seen in Nicky's eyes before they'd kissed, and that bone-deep feeling of quiet joy he'd felt on the sofa, were all just figments of his imagination, Joe isn't sure if he wants to cry or scream. The only good news is that the frustration and near-mourning he feels at the loss of what he'd felt in those few minutes of the dream has killed any arousal that might have lingered.</p>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>They're quiet for the first hour or so of walking, just waking up, feeling the last couple of days catching up to them. Around them, the forest is going about its day. For this short while, it's almost possible to forget how badly this place seems to want him gone and the lengths to which it will go to make that happen.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can hear birds moving from tree to tree, calling to each other, and the only signs that horrifying tangles of murderous vines also live in these woods are the soreness of his throat and the scratches he can see on the back of Nicky's neck. How can the forest contain both the small stream he can hear burbling in the distance from time to time <em>and</em> the chasm with the churning rapids and monster whose endless rows of teeth will haunt Joe's nightmares for years?</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The things that have tried to kill us in the last two days, did none of them threaten you and your father during your childhood hunting trips?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky shakes his head. "Like you, I'd heard stories, but I think when I was younger, it didn't feel like it had to go to such extremes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Why?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He doesn't answer right away, choosing his words carefully. "Do you think it would have attacked you with those vine creatures if you'd come here as a boy? For a child, the forest is plenty dangerous without it having to resort to monsters."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your father wasn't a young boy."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Another stretch of silence as something undecipherable plays across Nicky's face. "My father was mostly concerned with ensuring I didn't hurt myself. The forest had nothing to fear from him."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe kicks a rock from the path, lost in thought.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your turn," Nicky says. "Tell me a story about your queen."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Which one?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You choose."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Both, Joe decides as he steps up next to Nicky. Strictly speaking, the path isn't wide enough for them to walk like this. Their shoulders keep brushing together, but it seems neither of them mind.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The day before her coronation, I found Quinn hiding in the hayloft. I think she believed if no one found her all day, she could sneak off in the night."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Why would she wait until then? If she had enough opportunity to climb to the hayloft, she should have had enough time to take a fast horse and go."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Turning to see Nicky's face, Joe smiles. "She wouldn't leave without me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky grins at him, and Joe thinks, once again, that it's a shame they couldn't have met some other way.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How old was she?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Seventeen. I felt very old and very wise at sixteen, and I think I probably lectured her for a few minutes, like the insufferable shit I was at that age."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Of course. About what?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I probably scolded her for worrying everyone by running off." Joe adjusts the strap of his satchel and stares up into the trees.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He can hear the laugh under the words when Nicky says, "Tell me, how did your sister show her appreciation for this lesson in propriety from her brother?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks at Nicky and—what possesses him just then he'll never know—winks at him. "She told me I had impressive balls to be lecturing her given how many times in our childhood I'd talked her into running off to find adventure. Then she listed several examples as she pinned me down and shoved hay down the back of my shirt until I surrendered."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I had no sisters or brothers, but that sounds very like the way my parents described their siblings." Nicky's smile is open and easy, just the kind of audience Joe loves.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We eventually went back to the palace, and her ladies spent hours getting all the hay out of her hair."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Was anyone else waiting to lecture her?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And risk disapproval from her <em>and</em> me? I think not." Joe takes a drink from his water-skin, holding it out to share with Nicky. "Everyone had expectations. They wanted her to be so many things. Her father had been ill for a few years, and the ministers had been trying to show her everything they thought she'd need to know. She got lost for a little while. Her life became too much about duty and not enough about being herself. She needed space to breathe and grow as she chose, and Andy gave her that. Andy has her back. She always has, and she always—" Like a knife to the side, Joe remembers why they're even making this trip. What kind of friend, what kind of <em>brother</em> forgets something like that.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She always will. Just an hour or so more to go," Nicky says. "You love her very much, even though she's not been with you since you were a child like your other queen?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Sometimes people just know you. From time to time, Andy knows me a little too well. She has a thing about trust, about having it, being sure of it before you let someone know the things that make you vulnerable. Sometimes, she wishes I were a bit more like her in that respect."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Off their trail to the left, something catches Nicky's attention, and he starts reaching for the knife in his boot. When Joe starts to pull his sword, Nicky says, "Keep it drawn, but don't follow me." He looks back at Joe, "Please. I need you to stay here, right here. "</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, of course. I can do that." Joe tests the weight of his sword in his hand as he watches Nicky slip off through the trees. Minutes pass with no sign of Nicky's return, and Joe digs in his bag, trying to find the pocket where he put the last of the berries Nicky found earlier.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When signs of movement finally come, they're not the ones Joe was expecting. From the direction Nicky went, Joe hears hoofbeats in the distance. They slow to a walk, and through the trees, Joe can see someone approaching on foot, leading a horse in each hand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky?" He gets no answer. "Stop where you are," Joe says. "I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you come closer."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Whoever is approaching slows but doesn't stop. The sun is still low enough that Joe can't make them out until they're close, closer than he'd like without Nicky at his back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"There you are!" They drop the reins of both horses and run toward him, and before Joe can blink, his arms are full of Quynh.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He hadn't realized quite how much he missed her until just this moment. He can smell her hair and feel her arms, and it's her, and she's safe and—he pushes her back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What are you doing here? You can't be here!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What do you mean, what am I doing here? Did no one find you yet?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I have no idea what you're talking about. I've been walking for days trying to get to the spring."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My Yusuf," she says, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm so grateful for that. I know you would have succeeded, too. You'd have fought whatever terrible creature tried to keep you from the spring, and you'd have brought back exactly what you promised."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm still planning on doing that, but you have to leave. Now. Quynh, the things in this forest will kill you before you can blink."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe! That's what I'm saying. You don't have to do that anymore." He frowns at her and waits for the world to make sense. How is she here? How did she get this far without being attacked? Maybe she'd made it across the bridge, but the trees? Not to mention whatever else the forest has in its arsenal that Joe doesn't even know about.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't understand," he says, wishing his voice didn't sound quite so anxious.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"My champion succeeded after all."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nile made it back?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh nods. "Yesterday morning. She brought as much of the water as we needed, more even."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She said she found a path and stuck to it, and eventually, the path led to the spring. From the way you're talking, it sounds like maybe the forest was preoccupied trying to stop you, and it just let her right in. If you're so worried, then let's not stand around giving it more chances to come after us." Returning to the horses, Quynh takes one set of reins in each hand. Joe can see now, and he's not sure how he missed it earlier, that the horse on Quynh's left is Cricket.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hello, beautiful girl," Joe says as he rubs her nose. He looks up at Quynh. "We can't ride in here."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"True, there are some places where we'll need to walk the horses, like this particular spot, but later, when the trees thin out, you'll be glad we have these two ladies with us." She grins, and it's one of Joe's favorite grins. He takes the reins from her then stops.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky," he says. "I can't just leave; he won't know where I went."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Who?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He's been. He's been helping me. Just before you got here, he went off in the same direction you came from. He'd heard something and had to see what it was but—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She cuts him off, gently resting her hand on his arm. "Joe. It will be alright. You said he went the same direction I came from?" For a second, Joe isn't entirely sure, but he nods. "Then we'll find him as we go. We'll just call out for him as we walk, and we'll look for him. If it was close enough for him to hear, then he can't be far."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>That makes sense, yes. Joe nods again, and when she steps off the path, he calls out Nicky's name as she scans the trees off to one side. Joe scans the other direction, looking for any sign of movement.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky!" Joe shouts. There's a question he wants to ask Quynh, but he's too scared to put it into a full sentence, so instead, he asks only, "Andy?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He can feel Quynh's hand slip into his and squeeze.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She's going to be fine, Joe."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His shoulders drop like someone cut his strings. So much tension and fear drain from his body, and he takes a deep breath, in and out. The bands around his heart have gone slack, and he feels the warmth of his family filling his soul. He wants to get back to the palace, to hug Andy, but he has to say goodbye to Nicky, to say thank you at least. Again, he calls out into the trees. "Nicky! Where are you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It wasn't easy getting her to drink the water, but I held her while Nile put the water-skin to her mouth. Once we got some into her, she started coming back to us. Before long, she was taking the water from me to drink it herself."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Good, that's very good to hear. I've been so worried, Quynh." He calls for Nicky again, and again there's no response. "Where is he?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I can't believe your charm even works in the mysterious forest, Joe. Only you would go off to face a monster and end up making a friend." She's teasing him, and Joe wants to cry because he thought he might never again hear her voice like this. "So who is this Nicky?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe is still peering into the forest, looking for any sign at all that Nicky came this way. He calls out again, as loud as he can, but gets no reply.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I met him when I first got to the forest. His family used to hunt here, so he knows the paths and trails. He knows some of the things to watch out for. When I told him why I was here, he offered to help get me to the first landmark. I accepted." Shouting Nicky's name, Joe wonders how much longer his voice can handle this, especially given the lingering effects of the vine around his neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"So you'd known him five minutes, and you decided to trust him with not only your life, but my wife's as well?" There's an edge of something unfamiliar in her voice, and Joe wonders how long he'll have to wait before she confronts him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe cups a hand around his mouth as he shouts. "Nicky! Answer me, Nicky!" Still nothing. To Quynh, he says, "I suppose I did, yes. That's what convinced him to help me, the fact that I was doing it for you and Andy instead of for fame or glory. He wanted to help, and I would never have made it on my own."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You know, Joe, it's one thing if your need for big gestures and romance puts you in danger. If you want to continue trusting men before you even know them and then letting them take advantage of you, there's nothing I can do to help or stop you; believe me, I've tried. Those things are all on your head, but how <em>dare you</em> be so reckless with Andy and me? She was depending on you, <em>I</em> was depending on you, and you had no way of knowing if anyone would make it back before you, so that's the right time to go adventuring through the forest with some beautiful man?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe grips Crickets reins and stops. "What?" He's never heard Quynh speak like that to anyone, let alone him. Perhaps the stress of the last week has gotten to her. Perhaps.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I think it's best we don't tell Andy about this. We have to hurry, though; she'll be waiting for us."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Waiting where?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Quynh has grabbed his hand again, and just as she takes a step, he jerks his wrist against her grip, pulling her back. "Where is Andy waiting?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"At the edge of the woods, I told you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't think you did. How long ago did Nile get back?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yesterday. Yusuf, we have to go!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your wife has been close to death for a week, she only started to improve yesterday afternoon, but this morning you got on a horse with her and rode here? Now who's being reckless with Andy's life?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her face crumples, and he can see her cheeks get blotchy with color. "She wouldn't let me leave her at home alone, and you're her family; she wouldn't let anyone else come looking for you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, she wouldn't, would she? That's not like her, to let the only two people she holds as family leave her at home and go riding off into danger at the same time? That doesn't sound like something the Andromache I know would do."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe, I've been scared and alone for days without either of you. I just want my family back together. Please can we go now?" She tugs her arm, trying to get her free or make him walk; she doesn't seem to care which.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How long did it take to get the first drops of water down her throat?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It seemed like forever," she says, a little calmer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But you had Nile there to keep you company, waiting by Andy's side?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nile was in the room with you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes! Joe, why are you—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You left me in the hall, Quynh. I wanted to come into that room with you, and you told me to wait outside." She opens her fingers, letting go of his wrist, but before she can step back, he turns his hand up and grabs her just below the elbow. "I'm your brother in all but blood and name. More times than I can count, I've seen the two of you ill, undressed, or so drunk you didn't make it to the window in time and threw up on my shoes. Even with all of that, you wouldn't let <em>me</em> in that room, but you'll let Nile see Andy like that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She's my champion!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm your <em>family!</em>"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe, we have to go!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"One more thing, Quynh. One more, and then we can talk about what comes next."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She swipes at her nose with the back of her hand. She's sniffling, and he knows the tears are about to start. "What is it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're right about Nicky. He's <em>breathtaking,</em> Quynh. I know how beautiful he is because I've spent days looking at his smiles, and I would walk over coals to see him laugh. What I don't understand is how <em>you</em> know he's beautiful?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She stares at him, mouth slack with confusion. "Are you angry with me because I let someone who wasn't you see Andy, or are you angry with me because I don't trust your latest great love?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, I'm angry because I've wasted valuable fucking time! I'm angry because once again this shit-heel of a forest tried to take my family from me, and I <em>almost fell for it</em>!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Tears spill over the edges of her eyes and roll down her face. Her nose is running, and her breathing is mostly huge, hiccupping sobs. "Joe, I'm just trying to save my family! This isn't like you to treat me this way."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He knows this isn't her, but having to yell, even at something that's only wearing her face, makes Joe want to throw up. Just like Andy had done on his shoes that night. Because it had been Andy, it hadn't been Quynh. She'd been busy sitting in the corner, laughing until she cried. That's who she was, not this—whatever it is in front of him, belittling him for opening his heart and trusting when she'd always said those were what she loved most about him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Whoever—whatever you are, we are finished here." Opening his hands, Joe drops her wrist and Cricket's reins and starts running back in the direction he thinks the trail should be, calling out for Nicky as he goes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky! Can you hear me?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Looking back over his shoulder, Joe can see that Quynh is gone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Panic rising in his throat, Joe shouts for Nicky over and over.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She's gone, the horses are gone, and nothing is left around him but the trees as far as he can see and the crushing weight of his new reality: No matter how much he shouts, Nicky isn't coming. Joe still has to get to the spring, defeat whatever is there, and get the water back to the palace. Now, though, he has to do it alone.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Because there's no other option because he refuses to lay down and give up, Joe keeps looking for the path, and he keeps calling out for Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The sound of Nicky calling back to him a few minutes later makes Joe's heart leap into his throat. For a second, he can't answer, but his voice finally breaks through the flood of emotion.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm here!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't! Move!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe consoles himself that he's only doing what Nicky told him to do as he sinks to his knees on the forest floor and buries his face in his hands. When he can hear Nicky getting closer, Joe stands but doesn't move toward him. He's rooted in this spot until he feels Nicky's hands on his shoulders.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're okay," Nicky says as he pats the length of Joe's arms, checks his sides, looks at his face. "You're not hurt?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe, who's been doing his own inventory of Nicky's wellbeing, meets his gaze. Nicky's hands are a warm weight on his shoulders. To Joe, it feels like the most natural thing in the world to reach up and put his hands on Nicky's arms, just above his elbows. "I'm good. I'm fine. Not hurt at all."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He takes a step forward and slips one hand around the back of Nicky's neck, and pulls until their foreheads are touching.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky." It's not a question, not a demand. It's just Joe reassuring himself that this man is truly here.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As if the sound of his name gives him permission, Nicky pulls Joe close, wrapping him up in a rib-cracking hug.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hey," Joe says, rubbing Nicky's back. "I'm happy to see you, too. If this is what I get when I'm gone for half an hour, what do you do when someone's been gone for a week?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky takes a step back and, frowning, looks into Joe's eyes. "How long have you been looking for me?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Half an hour or so?" He can see color leeching from Nicky's face. "What?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe, I've been trying to find you all day."</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Markers:<br/>If you’d like to skip characters in peril (though, as this is only chapter 3 of a 7 chapter fic, it’s safe to assume they both survive), stop at "Just before midday, the forest gets darker” and pick up again at "It's well past midday when Joe finally gives up and asks the question”</p><p>If you’re avoiding meat preparation, skip the paragraph that starts "Nicky finds a spot not far from a stream” and the sentence immediately after it.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay everyone, repeat after me:  I will not... overthink... the logistics... of the smut. (That’s more for me than for you.)</p><p>In other news- This one's a little quieter, but we've got some emotional stuff to get through. Also there's a whole ton of smut? If you've been okay with my smut in the past, you should be good here. I didn't get fancy and pull out a trapeze or anything. They do get a bit chatty, but nothing too dirty. However, if you've got stuff you really want to skip, I'll put the general activity labels in the content warnings.</p><p>Content warnings and markers for content warnings (for hunting/fishing references and meat preparation only in this one. Please let me know if you'd like me to add anything else) are in the end notes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"All—What?"</p><p>Nicky is exhausted, his heart has been hammering in his chest for hours, but he takes a deep breath and tries to explain the inexplicable.</p><p>"I came back to the path, and you were gone. That was this morning."</p><p>"That was half an hour ago."</p><p>Nicky sighs. "You can't trust the passage of time here, Joe, especially not when you're on your own."</p><p>"I saw—"</p><p>"Whatever you saw, whoever you met and whatever they said? It wasn't real. The forest is defending itself, Joe, and it's using every tactic it knows."</p><p>"If I can't trust anything here, that means you could be lying to me about the time. With this many clouds, it could be midday, or it could be near sunset."</p><p>"It's the latter, I promise. Joe, have I ever lied to you? No. Just like I don't think you've lied to me, and this isn't where we start."</p><p>Joe looks at him, eyes rimmed in red and a terrible, undecipherable look on his face.</p><p>Turning his face to the up and up past the trees, Joe rakes his fingers through his hair. Nicky watches Joe's hands curl into fists and listens as he shouts to the sky in frustration and fear and helplessness. It only lasts a second, but Nicky will never forget that sound.</p><p>"So that little trick from the forest took an entire day from me? An entire day!"</p><p>"Joe--"</p><p>"All I want is to keep the people I love most in the world from going through any more pain, and this place seems to be <em>inventing</em> ways to hold me back!" Nicky starts to say something, but Joe shakes his head. "I hate this, Nicky. I hate feeling powerless, helpless." He looks at Nicky. "I would let this place beat me into the ground, as long as I knew it would let me leave with that water when it finished, but this?" Joe shakes his head again.</p><p>Reaching out, Nicky cups his hand over the back of Joe's neck and tugs until Joe's forehead is resting on his shoulder. "It's not toying with you for fun, Joe."</p><p>"I know. I do. That's part of what's so frustrating!"  Joe rests his back against the nearest tree and sinks to the ground. He rakes both hands through his hair again, lacing his fingers together behind the crown of his head and pressing his forearms to his face. It looks like he's trying to hold himself together through sheer will. Eventually, his arms drop to his sides, and he looks at Nicky.  "It's only trying to keep safe the things it loves and values most, just like I am. I feel like if I could just get it to see that--" He presses the heels of his hands to his closed eyes. "Maybe that's ridiculous."</p><p>"It's not ridiculous; anything is possible in this forest. Until you get that chance, though, we'll just keep dealing with whatever the forest sends our way."</p><p>Joe takes a deep breath in and out. "Thank you." He picks his head up and looks at Nicky. "We should get moving."</p><p>He reaches up, and Nicky takes his hand, helping him to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>The thing Nicky's kicking himself over is that he had his suspicions from the second he saw it, and he'd been right. The mid-morning light was licking flames of color over the tips of its coat, and it was staring at him bold as brass. Nicky knows now that he imagined the weasel, or the forest imagined it for him, and he was almost sure of it even at the time, but after the conversation they'd had the night before, he had to be sure.</p><p>It had been their third night in the forest. After a day of fighting off trees that wanted them dead, Nicky had meant to stay up, to take the first watch and keep his ears open for danger. That had been the plan until Joe fell asleep so deeply that Nicky couldn't bear to wake him for a second watch shift. Knowing they'd have a little sleek, golden shadow watching their every step, Nicky had called to him.<br/>
<br/>
<em>"Get over here."</em></p><p>
  <em>There was a rustle of leaves and branches somewhere in the distance; then Booker came striding out of the tree line.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"First you're throwing things at me, now you can't even say 'please?'"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicky spared a glance in Joe's direction, relieved to see him still snoring, then turned back to the man who was, terrifyingly, his best friend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What should I say 'please' about? Please don't be a complete ass? Please don't rub your little furry balls on my cloak when you make your dramatic exits?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm very low to the ground, Nicky, and it's hardly my fault if they're so—"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Booker."  Many years ago, Nicky practiced this, the ability to say Booker's name so that it also meant "That's enough" and "I'm warning you" and "Why are you like this?" It's come in handy more times than he'd expected.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Speaking of cloaks."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't even care tonight. Do you know why? How about this 'please?' Please explain to me why you thought the best alternative to screaming nightmares was to give him fuck dreams set in <strong>my bed!</strong>" Nicky dropped his voice to a hiss. "My bed, Book. In my house! I listened to him moaning in his sleep; I saw him practically bursting out of his breeches before I woke him up. That's what I had in my head later when he was telling me about how he'd been in a room with stone walls and blue shelves and my fucking blanket."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"All you asked was that he not have any more troubling dreams. That's what I did." It's not that Nicky expected him to be chagrined in the least, but something short of a satisfied smirk might have been nice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"After that, I suppose it was so funny you decided to do it again last night?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"There was moaning again this morning. I'm assuming the other condition was the same; I didn't check."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That wasn't me, Nicky."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Have you ever known me to deny a good trick when I pulled one? That wasn't me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Then who was it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The only things out here capable of messing with dreams, as far as I know, are me and the forest. I honestly don't think the forest would have gone with that subject matter." He'd stopped himself. "Now that I think of it, there is someone else in the forest who can direct his dreams."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Who?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Booker stared at him. "Nicolò. <strong>He can.</strong> Even that first dream, I only put him in your room and offered a suggestion or two."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicky got lost looking into the fire for a minute or two, trying to wrap his mind around something. Perhaps it was the idea that Joe might have been entirely responsible for his dream. Or perhaps the idea that Nicky's known from the beginning that there was something between them but has never let himself think about it. He wasn't sure which.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why am I here?" Booker asks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did you see what we dealt with this afternoon?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Some of it. He held his own, I thought."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He did. It was. It was good to have someone there."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I imagine he felt the same way."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I have to sleep, Book. Just because the guardian of the spring isn't going to attack us doesn't mean the forest might not have plans of its own. Would you, in whatever form you want, stay for a few hours and warn me if one of those things shows up?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Favors two nights in a row? Nicky, you spoil me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicky glared at him. "No, you're going to do this one without a favor."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why would I do that?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because every time you think about putting him in my bed during that dream, it's going to make you smile, and because I'm not making you give me a new cloak after what this one's been through." His voice softened then. "Because you're my friend. You have always been my friend, just as I've always been yours, and having each other's backs when we're vulnerable is the kind of thing friends do for each other. Or is that not what you've been doing, keeping pace with us for days?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In the relative quiet of the night, Booker had stared at him for what felt like a long time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck you, Nicolò." Nicky would never mention how Booker's voice had cracked because that was also something friends did for each other.   "I'm gone by sunrise. After that, you're on your own." His gaze had flicked to Joe, still snoring. "Well, maybe not entirely alone."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Book, I—"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't. We're going to have a long talk when he's finally gone. You can say whatever you want to say then."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I will. I'll tell you why I'm so determined to help him, too."  When Booker frowned, Nicky only said, "You deserve to know, and I trust you. I just can't tell you yet." He squeezes Booker's shoulder. "Thank you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Goodnight, Nicolò."</em>
</p><p><br/>
After that, Nicky had put his head down on his wadded-up satchel. He was asleep almost before he'd finished pulling his cloak around himself.</p><p>So when Booker was gone before Nicky woke up, he'd expected not to see it again until Joe was well on his way back to the palace. Still, when the weasel had run from him, Nicky had seen blood on its right hind leg and couldn't take a chance. He had to follow.</p><p>He'd cautioned Joe not to leave the path, not to drop his guard. He'd only be a minute.</p><p>Nicky may never know how long he was away chasing the forest's latest figment, but it hardly matters. What matters is that by the time he got back to the path, Joe was gone. There was no trace, no sign, not even footprints; he was just gone.</p><p>After the first minute or two of calling Joe's name resulted in nothing, he'd given himself a minute or two to rage at the forest. It hadn't even been coherent, but when he finished, he felt like he could do what had to come next.</p><p> </p><p>Hour after hour, Nicky searched like the hunter his father had taught him to be. Joe was an interloper, an outsider, and if Booker's suspicions turn out to be correct, he might be the end of them all, but Nicky didn't think so. To Nicky, Joe had spent the last three days becoming a fierce protector, a valuable survival partner, and the kind of friend Nicky might tell anything. Almost anything. Joe was brave and kind and funny. He walked into this place to save his family, and he hadn't flinched once. Even those terrifying moments on the bridge were about fear, not cowardice. He deserved better than for Nicky to let this forest tear him apart inside and out.</p><p>Nicky used all of his senses while he searched, and all of the beast's as well. It wasn't until he realized even the beast's nose wasn't picking up Joe's scent that Nicky started to get frantic. There had been little method to the last few hours of his search, just Nicky crashing through the forest trying to think of anywhere Joe might be.</p><p>The sound of Joe calling his name flooded Nicky with relief, and he found a last reserve of energy to run as fast as he could in that direction, hoping, wishing, that wasn't another trick the forest was playing.</p><p>Nicky knew before then, of course he did, that Joe had carved out a spot in his heart. He'd said as much to Joe's face. The beast had never stood a chance against him, against his smiles, his kindness, or his ferocity. The time would come to pay the bill for these days they've had together, but not just yet.</p><p>Touching Joe, checking him over, even pulling him into a hug hadn't even been conscious thoughts. As they were happening, they felt like instinct; now, they feel inevitable.</p><p> </p><p>They've been on the path for a few minutes when Nicky realizes he's still holding Joe's hand. As if he's just noticed it as well, Joe squeezes. It's nice, yes. So lovely, but right now, it's a dream built on a lie.</p><p>Nicky's spent his life with a secret he keeps from all but his family and the creatures in this forest. That will change in a few hours. Joe will learn what he is, even if Nicky tries to keep it from him. He's clever; he'll figure it out.  What he does then will steer Nicky's fate. Joe could leave quietly, never tell a soul, and maybe once a year they could meet somewhere. That's the best possible outcome, and it will only happen if Nicky never shows his other form. It's one thing to know. It's entirely another to have that beast staring down at you.</p><p>The outcome Nicky fears is where Joe turns and flees. The luckiest version of that one is the one in which Joe doesn't tell everyone in the palace so they can come back and hunt him for sport.</p><p>When the time comes, Nicky will be honest. For now, though, he wants to enjoy Joe's company a little while longer.</p><p>Reluctantly, Nicky lets go of his hand.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Joe says. "I left the path after telling you I wouldn't."</p><p>"Joe, you have nothing to apologize for. You're neither a willful child disobeying out of spite nor a fool who thinks warnings like the one I gave you are based on some paranoid fantasy. If you left the path, you had a good reason."</p><p>Nicky can feel Joe's eyes on him as they walk. "Do you want to know what it was?"</p><p>"Do you want to tell me? I don't need to know. Some things need to be kept secret for a reason."</p><p>"How did you got from a man who thought my being here meant I had a death wish to a man who doesn't feel the need to chastise me for wandering off the only safe path?"</p><p>"Ask me that question tomorrow; right now, I'm too busy being a man who's glad you're safe and that we managed to find each other again."</p><p>He turns to scan the area more closely, telling himself he's looking for landmarks rather than avoiding Joe's gaze. He finds more and more of the forest feeling familiar with each step as they draw closer to the spring. All around him are places he used to come with his father or his uncles.</p><p>It's the kind of promising sign that would put a spring in his step and speed up their pace if the air around them hadn't grown heavy as the clouds grew thicker.  Nicky can feel his shirt sticking to his back, and the sweat beading on his forehead. He loves this forest in so many of its moods, but this one he's never come to grips with.</p><p> </p><p>Once Joe is gone, Nicky's going to go to his spring, sink his toes into the ground, and have words with the forest about the tendency it has to take everything at face value, because just as he thinks, 'I wish it would just give up and rain already,' the skies open up.</p><p>Over the steady, heavy downpour, Nicky yells to Joe. "Follow me; we're going to the right."</p><p>"What's to the right?"</p><p>"I know a spot where we can stop until the rain passes."</p><p>Joe nods, sending water dripping off his curls as he does. "I'm right behind you."</p><p>In the twenty minutes it takes them to reach the cave, both Nicky and Joe are soaked to the skin. Nicky can feel a squelching between his toes as the water pools in the soles of his boots.</p><p>The cave isn't large, maybe five men could sleep here comfortably, but an outcropping protects the entrance just above it, so the inside is dry.</p><p>"Nicky, where are we?"</p><p>Frustrated, Nicky is tugging at the laces up the front of his leather jerkin. "This was my Uncle Lorenzo's camping spot when he went on hunting trips, and now it's mine." Finally, he manages to get the knot undone and enough unlaced to pull it over his head. It makes a squelching plop sound as it hits the floor of the cave. "It's a good spot, high enough to see a lot of the surrounding area, and there's just enough of a downward slope to the mouth of the cave to keep water from pooling inside, even in weather like this."</p><p>"I realize such a creature would be terribly mundane for a place like this forest, but please tell me there's no chance a bear has made its home in here since you were here last?"</p><p>"Well, I was last here two weeks ago, so I doubt it." What he doesn't say is that any bear coming in here would immediately smell the beast's scent and leave for fear they'd be eaten by something much larger and meaner than themselves.</p><p>Digging in his pack, Nicky pulls out his cloak. The waxing of the bag's fabric means that the water ran off, rather than soaking in and his cloak, somehow, is still dry.</p><p>Nicky looks up at Joe. "Check your bag? See if the tinder is still dry."</p><p>"Are you telling me that you've got a firewood stash in here?"</p><p>"Only the finest cave for you, Joe." Nicky, because he's decided to twist the knife himself, apparently, winks at him.</p><p>The pile is still tucked far in the back, where Nicky had left it. He'll need to replenish it the next time he's out here and intending to stay on two legs.</p><p>"The slope keeps the firewood dry."</p><p>"Your uncle was a clever man, Nicky, with excellent taste in... caves." There's a pause near the end where Nicky guesses the absurdity of that sentence finally caught up with Joe.</p><p>Nicky scrubs his palm across the back of his neck. "He picked this one for another reason, and given the last two days, I think it's likely you'll appreciate it, too. Do you see how the water all pours off the overhang in one spot?"  He points over his shoulder to the spot where he knows the rainwater runoff creates a sheet of water near one side of the cave entrance.  </p><p>"Yes, right there at the corner."</p><p>"It's not just rainwater runoff. You couldn't see it because everything looks like running water right now, but there's a stream that flows down the hill above the cave and forms a tiny waterfall right there at that corner. Uncle Lorenzo used it to fill his water-skins before going out at the beginning of the day. At the end of the day, he'd be covered in mud, twigs, leaves, fish scales sometimes, and he would stand under that corner of the overhang and let the water rinse it away."</p><p>"Still in his clothes?" The corner of Joe's mouth twitches as he tries to hold in a smile.</p><p>Nicky shrugs. "It depended on the day. As for me, I have sap and whatever else came out of those vines in my hair, under my fingernails, and down my back both inside <em>and</em> outside my shirt. So everything is getting a wash."  He spreads his jerkin out on the floor. Not that he's expecting it to dry much at all, but every little bit helps. "In just a moment, I'm going to leave you to start a fire, and I'm going to go down to the stream we passed on our way up and see if I can find something for us to eat while we wait for the rain to pass."</p><p>"Consider it done; I'm getting good at this." If winking at Joe had felt like a twist of the knife, having Joe wink back feels to Nicky like something is simultaneously stroking the side of his neck and squeezing his heart.</p><p>For anyone fishing with a line, a hook, or even a spear or net, finding dinner might take most of the evening. Nicky doesn't have those restrictions, and frankly, being what he is should come with a few perks, so he'll take this one.</p><p> </p><p>An hour later, Nicky steps back into the cave with enough fish for both of them to feel satisfied at the end of the meal.</p><p>"I would have helped clean them," Joe says, his voice full of surprise.</p><p>"I know. I already have plans to wash myself off, and I didn't want to force you to wash if you didn't want to, so I decided to spare you from the messier parts of the process."</p><p>"That's very considerate of you, Nicky, but I've spent the last hour looking at that water and imagining how nice it would feel not to have this, whatever it is, in my hair." He pats at the top of his head where several bunches of hair are clumped together with something that's making them stiff. "As heavy as it is, even this rain wasn't enough to work the worst of it loose."</p><p>"Would you like to do that before or after you eat?"</p><p>"Before, I think, if that's alright with you. I'll try to get the worst of it out of my clothes and then leave them by the fire to start drying while I work on the bits in my hair."</p><p>"I'll get the fish cooked and take my turn after."</p><p>Nicky sits with his back to the waterfall and slips one of the fish onto a twig the right size and shape to use for cooking.  Behind him, he hears the moment Joe steps under the water.</p><p>"Fuck!"</p><p>"It's runoff water, Joe. No one heats it for you first."</p><p>"I could stand to hear less amusement out of the audience, thank you."</p><p>The audience. That's him. Nicky's the audience. Shit. This was a terrible idea. He takes a deep breath and focuses on the fish. Somehow, Nicky's fine, marginally, until Joe decides his clothes are as clean as they're going to get under the circumstances.</p><p>He can only hope his attempts to be looking in any direction other than the one where Joe is stripping off his clothes aren't as obvious as he feels they are.</p><p>"Fuck! Shit!"</p><p>"How is it still a surprise, Joe? You were <em>just</em> in it."</p><p>"It's not a surprise! Some things are just worse when you know how bad they're going to be ahead of time."</p><p>Nicky thinks it's unfair of fate to distract him from Joe, naked and wet behind him, by reminding him what's coming in the next two days.</p><p>The rain is loud enough that Nicky can't hear Joe's footsteps as he approaches the fire. His first clue that Joe is out of the waterfall is the bare length of Joe's arm, reaching past Nicky to pull his cloak from his bag. He steps around Nicky, still wrapping the fabric around him, and from the corner of his eye, Nicky sees only long stretches of skin and a flash of dark hair before Joe is covered and sitting beside him.</p><p>"Thank you for cooking."</p><p>"You're welcome." He hands the cooking stick to Joe, the fish speared on it not quite finished. "Get that back in the fire for a few minutes, not quite until it's burned. There are two more after that, but I'm not expecting this to take long."</p><p>The worst of the mess on Nicky's clothes is down the back of his shirt, where he won't be able to reach if he's still wearing it, so he strips it off and holds it under the water, rubbing the fabric against itself, hoping the sap works loose from the fibers.</p><p>Eventually, he sighs and accepts what progress he's made. He'll have to ask the woman in the village where he does his trading to make him a new one. This thing is good for nothing but rags after this trip, not least because Nicky nearly wore a hole in it trying to get it clean.</p><p>His boots aren't easy to remove, and neither are his breeches, but both are easier than the jerkin, and soon enough, are in a pile just past the edge of the water spray. Stepping under the water, Nicky realizes he shouldn't have made fun of Joe. How does he always forget what this is like? And tonight, it's not even as bad as it could be, with the warm rain taking away the worst of the cold bite.</p><p>The sound he makes when the water first hits his back reminds him of a startled wolf. It's a yip and a whine together with a bark of indignation.</p><p>Across the cave, Joe starts laughing.</p><p>"A little less amusement from the audience!" Nicky fires Joe's words back at him. His body adjusts as well as it can, and he turns to look at Joe, hoping to see him still shaking with laughter, only to see Joe turning to look at him.</p><p>Standing as he is, only Nicky's side is facing Joe, but that seems to be enough to halt any laughing. Eyes wide, Joe's gaze sweeps down Nicky's body, tracing the flow of water from his shoulder to the knob of his ankle. Part of Nicky wants to hide, but a larger part wants to preen under this attention, to know Joe feels the same way Nicky had watching Joe swirl his cloak around all that bare skin.</p><p>Like he's just realized how much he's been staring, Joe twitches his head back around to stare into the fire. The stare may be gone, but the tension is still strung between them, the air humming around it.</p><p>They might have had to sit across from each other all night with that moment hanging over them, but they're saved from that fate by Nicky's hubris coming back to haunt him. He can see a stubborn ball of sap clinging to a clump of hair low on his right leg. Deciding that, on balance, he'd rather not know quite how the sap ended up there, Nicky props his foot on a rock and bends to pick at it with one fingernail. The angle is perfect for sending water sluicing down the one part of him that hadn't yet been exposed to it.</p><p>The sound he makes--Nicky will insist on this later--is not a shriek.</p><p>Joe's laughter bounces around the inside of the cave and almost, almost makes Nicky feel better about the fact that his balls have pulled up so tight against his body he's worried he'll have to fish them out later manually.</p><p>"I hope that was freezing water running down the crack of your ass, and I hope you feel bad now about laughing when it happened to me."</p><p>Even despite the very rude awakening to his most sensitive places, Nicky can't help but grin. "Not really, no."</p><p>Stepping out of the water, Nicky spreads his clothing out and lays Joe's clothing right next to it. He'll move them closer to the fire in a bit.  When Nicky reaches for his cloak, it's not next to his bag where he left it.</p><p>Joe, who is staring intently into the flames, and <em>only</em> into the flames, says, "I put it near the fire to warm up." He points to a spot not far from where he's sitting.</p><p>"Thank you." Nicky drapes the cloak over his shoulders and sits down beside Joe.</p><p>"Thank you for providing food." He's fiddling with the roasting stick, bobbing it over the fire. Where they're seated, they can see past the mouth of the cave and into the rain. "We're not getting back out onto the trail tonight, are we?"</p><p>Nicky sighs. "Probably not, no."</p><p>"I'm trying to remind myself that if I were out there right now, I'd be more likely to die myself than make any progress in saving Andy. I could try getting there in the rain, but I'd never hear anything approaching, and without the moon, I'd lose the path before I was more than a stone's throw from this cave."</p><p>"That's true." Nicky picks a chunk of fish away from the skin and pops it into his mouth. "Also, if there is some kind of structure around the spring, or if it's sunk into the ground, you'd have to climb down to it. Anyone trying that tonight would break their neck."</p><p>For a few minutes, they sit in silence, eating, and staring into the rain.</p><p>"I'm not an angry man, Nicky. Not by nature. I tend to be hopeful and open and forgiving. Quynh would say too forgiving."</p><p>"How can someone be too forgiving?"</p><p>"I think she's just tired of seeing me hurt by people I trusted before they earned that trust. Whether or not I agree with her isn't the point." He eats a little more fish and then says. "The point is that I'm not usually angry, and I don't usually feel helpless. The only times I ever feel both at once are when someone I love is in danger."</p><p>"Like now."</p><p>"Like the last week and a half. It's been worse in the forest, where I don't even know which direction to walk. I've been angry and helpless and frustrated for three days, Nicky, and I'm just so. I'm tired."</p><p>"I think anyone would be, in the circumstances. What can I do, Joe? Is there anything?"</p><p>Joe's sitting on the ground with his legs drawn up, his forearms braced on his knees. At Nicky's question, his head sags between his arms. "I don't know. Tell me I'm not a terrible brother for stopping here tonight, for laughing at you when the water hit you when I should be focused on my goal. Tell me sitting and just eating without rushing it so we can get back out there or get to sleep doesn't mean I'm betraying my family."</p><p>'Oh, Joe,' Nicky thinks. 'Never the easy questions with you, eh?'</p><p>"You wouldn't be forgetting them, and you will be back out on the path as soon as you possibly can." Joe's face is still pinched and frustrated. "What would your queen say if she were here?"</p><p>"Which one?"</p><p>"Either." Nicky pulls another fish from the pile, eating as he listens.</p><p>"Quynh would tell me that I'm doing everything I can and that it's ironic I'm so good at forgiving everyone else and so terrible at forgiving myself."  He takes a drink from his water-skin and another bite from his fish. "Andy would say that watchmen have shifts precisely because we aren't meant to be that vigilant for that long and that by wearing myself out, I'm putting myself and her at greater risk. She would probably also call me an idiot and hug me."</p><p>At some point, Joe's cloak slipped off one shoulder, and Nicky watches the warm light of the fire moving over that skin. Perhaps, if Joe can take a few hours off from constantly thinking about his worries, then Nicky can allow himself to do the same.</p><p>"Joe?" When Joe looks up, Nicky smiles at him. "You're an idiot."</p><p>Nicky will never, never get tired of the sound of Joe's laugh.</p><p>"Where's my hug then?"  </p><p>Putting his fish down, Nicky scoots across the floor, closing the already small distance between the two of them. When Joe turns to him, Nicky pulls him close, enfolding him in a hug.</p><p>"Like this?" Nicky asks.</p><p>"Just like this," Joe says.</p><p>Into Joe's shoulder, Nicky says, "If that were their advice, they'd be right. Give yourself a night to let go of the things you can't change right now; the energy you save will make the rest of the trip easier."</p><p>"Who am I to argue with my queens? Or you." Joe turns his face into Nicky's neck and tightens the hug. "Thank you."</p><p>Releasing him, Nicky sits back. "I didn't do anything."</p><p>Joe arches an eyebrow at him. When Nicky smiles, Joe grins back, his dimples flashing.</p><p>Reaching into the pile, Joe tosses another log into the fire. "If the weather cooperates, shit, if the <em>forest</em> cooperates, how far are we from the spring?"</p><p>"Two hours, maybe. Probably more like one. In part, it will depend on what this rain is doing to the route back to the trail from here, but we'll make it."</p><p>"So, while tonight we are somewhere warm and safe and dry, tomorrow we'll be setting out on the last leg of a journey we might not survive?"</p><p>Nicky stares at him. When he finally realizes what Joe's doing, his mouth falls slack with disbelief and amusement.</p><p>"<em>That's</em> what you're going with? All the poetry and stories in your head and you're going to lead with, 'We could die tomorrow?'"</p><p>"I suppose that depends on whether or not this approach will work."  Joe seems to be doing everything he can to wrestle the smile off his face.</p><p>This is the moment when they could step back. Nicky knows they could laugh, say what a funny joke it had been, and go to sleep.</p><p>Fuck it.</p><p>"I think you can do better. I mean, Joe, I braved the dangers of the forest to bring you back fish. Twice!"</p><p>"Okay," Joe says, then drops his voice. "How about this? You are an impossibly beautiful man with kind eyes, a generous heart, and a smile that warms me to my bones. No matter what else is out there, to me, you are the most dangerous creature in this forest. Facing you? I wouldn't even put up a fight."</p><p>Joe doesn't mean for it to, but the phrase hits Nicky and drives the air from his lungs. He's right, of course; he just doesn't realize how right. He doesn't realize Nicky's been that all along. Maybe for tonight, the best thing he can do is show Joe what it's like being with the man who is also that beast, and hope Joe remembers tomorrow.</p><p>"The most dangerous creature in the forest would fall at your feet if you looked at him like that." Nicky watches Joe's eyes flick to his mouth, then back to his eyes.</p><p>"If you want to, you should kiss me."</p><p>Nicky smiles. "There's nothing I want more."</p><p>They lean toward each other, closing the last distance between them.</p><p>He hesitates, just for a second, until he hears Joe say his name in a voice just above a whisper.</p><p>"Nicky."</p><p>It's not a kiss that Joe would write into a poem or talk about in one of his stories. When Nicky kisses someone, he likes to hold their face and stroke their skin. Right now, he's braced on one hand, and the other is holding his cloak closed, so that's not an option. They're just two people, pressing their mouths together. Joe's lips taste of fish, and his nose is a bright spot of cold against Nicky's cheek. There's no lightning, no trill of music in his head, and his heart doesn't stop. So no, it's not poetry. It's only perfect.</p><p>There is a kind of sweet grief to knowing that for the rest of Nicky's life, any other first kiss he has will be nothing but a pale reflection of this. Joe sighs into the kiss, and Nicky decides he doesn't care about whether or not his cloak stays closed. He rests his palm against Joe's jaw, his long, broad fingers stroking Joe's neck.</p><p>Joe draws back first, following that kiss with three smaller ones, as though he can't quite let Nicky go.</p><p>"My sister says—"</p><p>"Why are we talking about—"</p><p>Joe pinches Nicky's thigh then grins as Nicky yelps and bats his hand away.</p><p>Leaning in, Joe kisses the side of Nicky's neck. "I had a dream about you." His mouth brushes across Nicky's shoulder, licking at the skin. Nicky sighs. "For some lovers, hearing that would be too much on the first night." The spot just under Nicky's jaw is incredibly sensitive, and Joe finds it immediately.</p><p>"I'm not them," Nicky groans, dropping his head to one side so Joe can reach that spot more easily. "Tell me about this dream."</p><p>"We were in a bed together, and you woke me with kissing."</p><p>"In your dreams, I'm a smart man."</p><p>Joe laughs. "You're plenty smart outside of them, too."</p><p>Nicky threads his fingers up into Joe's hair, begging with his grip, wanting nothing more than to feel Joe's mouth on his skin again. "What else?"</p><p>"Once I was awake, you put me on my back and let me feel your weight against me."</p><p>Nicky kneels up, facing Joe. His cloak falls to the ground, leaving him bare under Joe's eyes. He can feel his cock twitch, swelling at the look Joe gives him.  Reaching out, Nicky opens Joe's cloak, finally looking his fill of Joe's skin. He drags his fingers down Joe's chest and feels how soft all that dark hair is.</p><p>Joe is half-hard, and at this moment, all Nicky wants is to feel it grow harder against his tongue. He wants to lick the tip of it as it weeps from pleasure. They'll get there. With one hand on Joe's chest, Nicky guides him down until Joe's back is on the floor, his cloak under them. "Was it like this in your dream? I want to make sure I've got the position right."</p><p>Straining toward him, Joe says, "Almost. In the dream, I could feel your skin touching mine."</p><p>"Where?" Nicky bends to kiss the spot just over Joe's heart. He's spent days wondering what all this beautiful skin would taste like, so Nicky's enjoying every second of feeling it in his mouth. Joe groans and tries to arch up into him. "Tell me where Joe." He sucks hard on Joe's nipple.</p><p>"Fuck! Everywhere! I could feel you touching me everywhere. You were stretched out on top of me, and you—" fed up with waiting, Joe wraps his arms around Nicky's chest and pulls him down until their bodies are flush against each other. Nicky buries his face in the warm crook of Joe's neck.</p><p>"I was covering you like this?"</p><p>"You were, and you gave me your leg." Joe rolls his body against Nicky's</p><p>Opening his mouth to groan, Nicky closes it again with the tendon along the side of Joe's neck held gently between his teeth.</p><p>Joe digs his fingers into the muscles of Nicky's back, and Nicky can feel the sting of his fingernails, such a perfect foil to all this pleasure.</p><p>"Like you knew what it would do to me, you put one leg between mine and gave me your thigh to ride."</p><p>Nicky sucks on Joe's neck, and he can feel Joe moaning and arching his back, his fingers gripping and petting Nicky's hair as they flex against his head. Pulling away, Nicky licks at the bruise.</p><p>"I'm sorr—"</p><p>"Perfect. Nicky, everything you're doing is perfect."</p><p>Nicky wonders if Joe's even aware that he's been grinding himself against Nicky's thigh since the second they made contact. There's a growing patch of slick heat where Joe's cock has been dragging over Nicky's skin, and Nicky wonders if he's leaving something like it in the hollow of Joe's left hip.</p><p>"How long did we do this?"</p><p>"Not long enough. There wasn't enough kissing, either."</p><p>"Joe," Nicky's voice catches. There might never be enough kissing. He catches Joe's mouth, licking at the seam of his lips. With an answering sigh, Joe's mouth opens, and Nicky can feel the sweep of Joe's tongue against his.</p><p>He's getting drunk on Joe's mouth, but there's still more skin to taste. A spot just below Joe's collarbone catches the firelight, and Nicky has to kiss it, has to lick it and suck at the skin. Joe whines and his hips jerk up into Nicky's. He liked that.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Yes, Nicky. Please, yes." He feels Joe's hands sink into his hair again, tugging him down even as Joe is arching up. "Harder, please."  Nicky sucks and licks at that spot until he's sure there will be a purple-red streak there the next day, but Joe doesn't let go of his hair. "Nicky, more!" Compared to the voice he's using to beg or praise, Joe's next words are little more than breath. "Please. Please, your teeth."</p><p>He can't resist that voice, can't resist that 'please.' Nicky scrapes his teeth over the spot he's been sucking and thrills at the sound of Joe gasping.  He doesn't bite, not really; he wants Joe to feel the sharpness of the sensation, but no pain. He puts his teeth against the skin the next time he sucks at it, and for Joe, that seems to work just as well.</p><p>"Is this all we did? Is this where you woke up?" Nicky wouldn't be asking if he weren't nearly certain of the answer.</p><p>"No." Joe's moan as he rolls his hips up against Nicky's thigh makes the word seem to go on and on.</p><p>"What did we do next? Tell me what else made you feel good in the dream."</p><p>"You stroked me, and then—" He surges up to kiss Nicky, to suck at his lip and lavish attention on his mouth. Nicky pulls back.</p><p>"And then what, Joe?"</p><p>Once again, Nicky feels Joe's hands in his hair. He can feel Joe's breathing, can feel his chest rise and fall, so he doesn't miss Joe's deep, steadying breath. Joe pulls his head back until he can look Nicky in the eye. He's decided to give as good as he gets.</p><p>"You put your perfect mouth around my cock. You sucked me like you'd never loved doing anything as else that much."</p><p>That sounds, to Nicky, like a perfect plan. He imagines that in Joe's dream, when Nicky knelt back, and Joe had nothing to grind against,  he'd whined precisely the way he does now. Just for a second, when he looks down at Joe's body, at this man he gets to taste and pleasure and laugh with, Nicky feels overwhelmed. He curls over and rests his forehead in the hollow of Joe's hip and just breathes.</p><p>Joe's fingers in his hair feel incredible, and the moment of contact in that touch settles Nicky. He's always prided himself on the way he separates his human and animal halves. The beast is almost entirely absent from Nicky's day-to-day life, spilling over only when he smells something that catches his attention. Right now, the beast wants to bury his nose in the crease of Joe's groin and not come up for hours. Nicky's not giving in, not tonight. He has other things he wants to do, for one thing, and for another, it's impossible to pass off that urge as anything human.</p><p>Tomorrow, if he's lucky if Joe forgives Nicky for keeping such a secret, and they get one last night together, maybe then he'll indulge the beast. For now, he turns his head and kisses the shaft of Joe's cock. It's hot against his mouth, and the feel of his lips punches a groan from Joe's throat. Presented with the entire length of Joe's cock, Nicky drags his lips along it, strokes it with his cheek, and finally, finally, covers it in wet, sloppy, sucking kisses.</p><p>Joe is hard enough that Nicky thinks he must ache with it. He curls one hand around Joe—fuck, his skin is so warm—and starts at the base, kissing his way toward the head. He can't resist licking as much as he kisses, and by the time Nicky takes the head of Joe's cock into his mouth, he's let his spit run down his chin. Joe's cock has been drooling, too, so he takes a second to swipe his tongue over the slick bead right at the tip.</p><p>Joe's been quietly whispering to himself, but when Nicky pauses to let the taste roll across his tongue, and fuck, it's so good, Joe finally raises his voice.</p><p>"Nicky. Fuck, my gorgeous Nicky, if I don't have your mouth around me soon, I might lose my mind."</p><p>"Just for that, I should make you wait."</p><p>He's been so good about just petting Nicky's hair, not forcing or guiding him, but in response to Nicky's words, Joe curls his fingers into fists and lets Nicky feel the pull against his scalp.  With a throaty laugh, Nicky sinks his mouth onto Joe's cock, well past the head, and licks, rolling his tongue against it then pulling back.</p><p>Joe shouts, cursing, and bucks his hips up into Nicky's mouth. "Shit! Nicky, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"</p><p>Nicky puts one palm against Joe's hip and pushes him back to the ground. He hopes the gesture says, quite clearly, there will be no further interruptions.</p><p>"I won't," Joe says as if he heard Nicky speaking to him. "I'll be still. I promise I'll be still, please, Nicky. Don't stop sucking me. Your mouth feels so good."</p><p>True to his word, Joe's hips stay almost perfectly still. He's being so good, and Nicky thinks that deserves a reward. He shifts his angle a bit, releases his hand save for his index finger and thumb, still circling Joe at the base, and sucks Joe in as far as he can without gagging. The petting Nicky can still feel on his head gets more desperate as Joe turns every urge to move his hips into a movement of his hands. Nicky keeps licking, rolling his tongue as much as he can, and hears Joe choke on what might be a sob.</p><p>"Nicky. Nicky, I'm close. Fuck, I love your mouth."</p><p>Knowing Joe won't last long once Nicky starts, he draws Joe in deeper, letting the whole length fill his mouth and push into his throat. He's betting on Joe's climax coming faster than his own gag reflex. When Nicky feels his mouth brush the hair at the base of Joe's cock, he can't resist rubbing the tip of his nose into those dark curls.</p><p>"Nicky, fuck— you're better than any dream. Please, it feels so good."</p><p>He's not at all surprised to find that Joe is one of those people who gets more articulate the closer they get to orgasm. Of course he is.  Nicky can tell Joe is right at the edge. He's flexed his feet, his thighs are tight, and his breathing stops entirely except for a whispered, "Make me come, please make me come, Nicky."</p><p>Taking a chance, Nicky wraps one hand around Joe's thigh. He curls his fingers and lets his nails dig into the delicate skin just below the curve of Joe's ass. He's rewarded with a hiss, and the desperate, jerking pulse of Joe's cock in his mouth as he comes. Nicky pulls back enough to swallow,  wanting to taste Joe more than he wants anything but air at this point.</p><p>When his hisses turn from passion to oversensitivity, Nicky lets Joe slip from his mouth. Grabbing at any part of Nicky he can reach, Joe pulls him up until he's draped over Joe like a blanket. Joe holds Nicky's face in his hands and licks his way into Nicky's mouth. When he's cleaned the taste of himself from Nicky's tongue, Joe rests his forehead against Nicky's neck and whispers nonsense into his skin.</p><p>Nicky kisses his head. He's been hard at least as long as Joe, but it can wait. He shifts his slightly to the side and wraps his arms around Joe, feeling his breathing change as Joe nods off.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Nicky dozes with Joe for a few minutes; he can hardly be blamed for making the most of having Joe in his arms. When the fire starts to die a little, he pats around with his free arm until he finds another stick of firewood and adds it to the flames. The pop of sparks is loud enough to rouse Joe, whose first move after waking is to kiss Nicky's neck.</p><p>"I didn't mean to fall asleep."</p><p>"I'm glad you did. It means you were relaxed. And it was nice to hold you."</p><p>Joe looks up at him. "You're too good to me."  With a bit of squirming, Joe ends up with his back to Nicky, pulling Nicky's arm around his chest. Nicky can't help a startled grunt as Joe's ass brushes against his cock. Joe likes that sound so much he does it twice more. Nicky's erection had disappeared almost entirely while they were sleeping, but now it's making its presence known again.</p><p>"Nicky?"</p><p>"Mm? You going to tell me about your other dream?" Joe stiffens slightly, and Nicky chuckles into his ear. "I was awake before you both mornings. The sounds you were making went straight to my cock."</p><p>"Well, I was going to ask you to pass me the water-skin, but I think I like your idea even better." Stretching, Nicky can just hook the strap of one water-skin with his finger and drag it closer. He hands it to Joe, who almost empties before passing it back. Nicky tips it up and pours the rest into his mouth. He tosses the water-skin to the side and ducks his head forward to kiss Joe right behind his ear.</p><p>"Quite so, Nicky. Why choose when you can have both. Now, it's interesting that we find ourselves like this because, in my second dream, it was the other way around. I had my arm around you, and I was explaining something to you—"</p><p>"Naturally."</p><p>"While I stroked you." Joe rolls forward the barest bit, and since it seems that Joe is settling in for a tale, Nicky reaches down to adjust his angle to something more comfortable. When Joe rolls back again, Nicky's cock is mostly hard and snugged into the split of Joe's ass.</p><p>"Do you want me—"</p><p>"Not right now. Right now, you can just listen. As actively as you would like."</p><p>Nicky buries his nose in Joe's hair and grins. This little shit. How did he ever think this would end any other way?  "Go on," Nicky says, rocking his hips forward and feeling the almost-too-much friction of his cock dragging against Joe's skin. It feels so good he does it again.</p><p>"I was telling you that sometimes small gestures can be as meaningful as large ones. It felt like you didn't believe me, so a demonstration was in order."</p><p>Nicky knows Joe's not expecting a reply, so he simply hums to show that he's paying attention and focuses on kissing his way down Joe's neck and out along his shoulders, fucking himself against Joe's ass as he does.</p><p>"I got to run my hands over you and feel all your warm skin under my palms. Even before I knew how good that felt in reality, it was already so good." Nicky nips at the back of Joe's neck just to hear the noise he makes. "Oh, yes, that's so nice. Where was I? Oh right," he rolls his hips back against Nicky's groin.</p><p>That moment, that sweet, silly, desperately pleasurable moment, is so perfect, for a second, all Nicky can do is rest his face in the curve of Joe's neck and breathe him in.</p><p>"When I dragged my fingers across your belly, just above your hips, I could feel your muscles tense under my touch, and it thrilled me to know I could do that to you. I might have done that for hours, but I wanted to hold your cock while you were just starting to get hard."</p><p>"Fuck, Joe."</p><p>"It made me feel— having you swell and thicken in my hand made me feel so good and so lucky. I knew I was the only one who got to feel it, the only one who could draw a reaction like that from you."</p><p>Nicky wanted to draw this out, to make it last longer, but the hint of possessiveness in Joe's voice is rapidly making that impossible.</p><p>"Did I like your hand around me?"</p><p>He knows Joe laughs at that, even without a sound, because he can feel the laughter shake Joe's body in his arms. Bending his head, Joe kisses Nicky's arm. "I certainly thought so. You were pushing into my hand, trying to get more of my touch."</p><p>The grind of Nicky's hips is constant now, rolling against Joe's ass again and again like waves. Every few seconds, the slick, dripping head of Nicky's cock slips into the crease of Joe's ass, and his movement stutters, the friction almost too much for pleasure. Almost.</p><p>"I stroked you, and with every noise you made, I wanted to give you more. I loved feeling you rise to meet my hand; I wanted you to come like that for me, Nicky. In that dream, I wanted to feel you stroke yourself off with my hand so I could lick your pleasure from my wrist."</p><p>Nicky makes the only sound he can, groaning Joe's name and sinking his teeth into the back of Joe's shoulder. Not hard enough to break the skin, not even close, just enough to hear Joe hiss out a "Fuck!" and rock his ass back against Nicky's cock.</p><p>"Did I come like that for you?" Nicky asks.</p><p>"I don't know. You woke me up. Would you have come for just my hand?"</p><p>"I would come just for the sound of your voice, I think."</p><p>"Nicky," Joe says, and oh, it sounds far too fond, far too affectionate for the length of time they have left together. "How will you come for me now?"</p><p>Making sure the cloak is still spread below them, Nicky presses his hand against Joe's shoulder, rolling him onto his belly. Joe groans as Nicky covers him, kissing his neck, his shoulders, kneeling to kiss the length of his spine before coming back up and leaving one last kiss just under the curve of Joe's jaw.</p><p>"Nicky," he says again, but this time it's a plea. He can see Joe's face, can see the pinch between his eyebrows, and knows exactly how Joe is feeling. This is the moment where everything feels so good that the only face you can make looks almost like pain. Nicky strokes his hands over Joe's arms and up the backs of Joe's hands. He laces their fingers together and turns to murmur into Joe's ear.</p><p>"Like this. I'll come just like this."</p><p>The motion isn't so different, the rocking grind of his hips against Joe's, the drag of his cock against Joe's ass, but something about the leverage he has now, the force he can put behind it, magnifies every sensation. Joe's fingers tighten against his as he tries to rock back against Nicky. He must suddenly remember what Nicky had said about the sound of his voice because Joe starts talking again.</p><p>"Promise me? Promise me you'll come just like this? That you'll fuck yourself against me until I can feel your come on my skin?" Nicky groans, rolling his head on his neck and trying to hold out for a few more seconds at least. "Where will it be, Nicky? Will I feel a hot spill against my back, slicking the space between us? Or will you lose yourself across the curve of my ass? Nicky!"</p><p>The thready plea at the end catches Nicky's ear, and he realizes Joe must be rubbing himself against the soft lining of his cloak at the same time Nicky is fucking against his back. Two things come together at that moment. First, Nicky realizes the grind of his hips is carrying Joe forward each time, that he's driving his pleasure into Joe's cock. The second is that his thrust catches a slick spot he'd left a few seconds earlier, and suddenly he's dragging the head of his cock against Joe's hole. Not into it, the angle is wrong for that, but across it, feeling the shape of it against him just for a second. Together, they are Nicky's undoing.</p><p>He shouts something that isn't a word, clenching his fingers so tight he'll feel the need to apologize later, and comes so hard there are spots at the edges of his vision. His hips don't stop moving, and the more he comes, the easier his cock slides against Joe's ass. He's shaking as the last of his orgasm is wrung from him, but he's not so weak that he can't put one hand against Joe's shoulder to stop him when he tries to roll over.</p><p>"Stay there, please," Nicky says, wishing his voice sounded steadier. "I'm not—"</p><p>"I won't move."</p><p>Nicky's not done yet.</p><p>He sits back on his heels and takes in the view. Joe's arms are pillowed under his head, and he's looking out the front of the cave with a blissed-out expression on his face. Nicky can see the curve of muscles in his shoulders and across his back. His back. There's a slick spot at the dip just above Joe's ass. The urge to kiss that spot comes over Nicky, and he doesn't resist. He doesn't even try.</p><p>His hands are on Joe's hips as he bends and touches his lips to Joe's skin. On instinct, he licks his lip then realizes what he's tasting. It's his precome and Joe's sweat mixing on his tongue. Groaning, Nicky holds Joe, petting him almost, as he licks and sucks and kisses every trace of them from that spot.</p><p>Not satisfied, his mouth travels lower. Nicky tugs at Joe's hips; he wants Joe's ass closer to his mouth. Joe arches his lower back, sending his hips back and up and changing the angle of his ass, and oh, yes, exactly like that. Palming Joe's ass, Nicky spreads him enough to lick into the crease.</p><p>"Nicky!"</p><p>All Nicky wants right now is to be in two places at once. He wants to be up next to Joe's face, kissing his name out of Joe's mouth, and he wants to be right where he is, licking everywhere that Joe's taste is mingled with his own. His thumbs pull Joe open wider, and Nicky can see every trace of his own pleasure. He sucks a kiss against one ass cheek, then the other, listening to Joe gasp.</p><p>"You're a mess, Joe."</p><p>"Whose fucking fault is that?"</p><p>Nicky squeezes one side of Joe's ass. "If you're going to be like that, I can stop."</p><p>"Please, no."  Joe grinds his hips into the cloak and Nicky realizes he could probably make Joe come again, with just his hands and his mouth and the stroke of his tongue.</p><p>With a sudden rush of pride, Nicky realizes that <em>he</em> did this. He wrecked Joe like this, drove him to bitten-off curses and whispered pleas. That's his come running down over Joe's skin. It's not graceful, the way he's pushing his face into the split of Joe's ass and licking him clean. Maybe tomorrow, he'll feel a blush of embarrassment about the relish with which he's dragging his chin over the strip of skin behind Joe's balls. Maybe he'll regret slicking his tongue across Joe's hole just to hear him gasp.</p><p>Maybe, but he doubts it.</p><p>Nicky's long-since licked or sucked away any trace of himself from Joe's skin, but he's not stopping now. Not with Joe hitching his hips against Nicky's mouth and the little gasp as Joe's cock drags over his cloak. Gently, he drags his bottom teeth over the curve of Joe's ass and thanks whatever fate or spirit or twist of luck brought Joe into his life, into his forest.</p><p>When Joe's rocking motions lose their regular rhythm, Nicky presses one last kiss just on the inside curve of one perfect ass cheek before stretching himself along the length of Joe's body and rolling them onto their sides, where this latest round of pleasure began. He takes Joe's cock in his hand, running his hand up and over the top, gathering that slickness in his palm.</p><p>Nicky wraps his fingers around Joe's cock and strokes him, hearing Joe dissolve against him. He listens to the soft gasps and, finally, the choked shout of Joe's orgasm as he fills Nicky's palm.</p><p>"Nicky," Joe groans as his breathing returns to normal. "Fuck, Nicky. "</p><p>"The feeling is mutual. I'm going to get up for just a minute; I'll be right back."</p><p>Joe nods, already sleepy again. Stepping away from the fire, Nicky suddenly feels the cool air of the cave against his heated, sweat-slick skin, and he shudders. He cleans his hand under the waterfall, then his face, rinsing his mouth out before spitting it out of the cave into the night. When he turns back to the fire, Joe is sleeping, or so close to it Nicky can't tell the difference. His face is soft, and his skin still looks so kissable.</p><p>Nicky looks his fill. He commits as much as he can to memory. He'll be back home in his little house soon, warm in his bed, perhaps even content in his life, but a part of him will always be here, in this moment, with this man.</p><p>"Stop staring at me and come keep me warm."</p><p>This man.</p><p>"Unbelievable," Nicky mutters as he walks across the cave. He doesn't sound even a little upset. Joe has pulled Nicky's cloak over himself and is holding it open, beckoning Nicky in. Once Nicky is comfortable, Joe's arm snakes around him, and he laces their fingers together. The brush of Joe's nose against the back of his neck makes Nicky feel warm clear to his toes. As he drifts off, only one thought makes its way through his head.</p><p>
  <em>This is going to hurt like a bitch.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hunting/Fishing and meat prep markers:<br/>Stop at “For anyone fishing” and pick back up at "Behind him, he hears the moment”<br/>Stop at "He hands the cooking stick” and pick back up at “The worst of the mess"</p><p>Smut content labels: oral sex, handjobs, frottage, rimming.<br/>To skip the smut - Stop reading at “My sister says—“ and come back at "The feeling is mutual"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This has been a difficult year for everyone, and whether this time of year is a holiday for us or not, right now many of us can't be with the ones we love at a time when we need support more than ever. Interacting with you all in the comments or on tumblr or email or wherever has been one of the great joys of my year, and I honestly don't know where I would be without you. To have this shared experience with you over a story about family and love, is the best gift I could ever have asked for, and I can't thank you enough. </p><p>I want to get this out the door, so it's going out without content warnings at first. Assume that there are a few references to hunting for small game and some vague descriptions of preparing and cooking that food. It's an E-rated fic and this chapter is no exception. I'll come back and add specifics later.</p><p>If you get through the exposition, I promise you there's smut at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It might be any other morning.</p><p>Joe's not sure what he was expecting Nicky to be like after waking up with Joe's arms around him and Joe's rather insistent morning erection poking him in the back, but this wasn't quite it. Nicky gets up, dresses in his half-dry clothes, wrestles his way into his half-dry boots, and stands quietly, waiting for Joe to be ready to leave.</p><p>Taking his cue from Nicky, Joe dresses, stuffs his cloak into his satchel, and joins Nicky at the mouth of the cave. It's high ground, but not by much. Joe stares out at what looks like an unbroken sea of trees clear to the horizon. It's the first time he's truly seen the sun since he entered the forest. Until now, it's been half-hidden by trees or obscured by clouds. He tilts his face up to the sky and lets it warm his face for just a second.</p><p>Time to go. Andy's waiting, Quynh's waiting and Joe made a promise. He looks back into the cave for just an instant. He can see the scorched black spot on the floor where their fire had been, but of the two of them, there's no trace at all, no keepsakes. It's just a cave. It's just a dead fire.</p><p>"Let's go," Joe says.</p><p>He's brushing past Nicky when he feels a hand encircle his wrist and tug him back. They're face-to-face, Joe can see Nicky's tongue dart out to swipe across his lower lip. His voice is a raw scrape across Joe's heart.</p><p>"I won't—" he starts to say, then stops, deciding instead to duck his head forward and kiss Joe. It's not big or sloppy or particularly passionate. Nicky's warm mouth is firm against his, the chapped places on his lips pressing into Joe's. Nicky's eyes are closed so tight there's a furrow between his eyebrows. For all that so many things last night were new, Joe recognizes this kiss immediately.</p><p>This is how you kiss when you're sure it will be your last.</p><p>Nicky is kissing him like a man who doesn't think they'll have another night together. For a second, Joe wants to pretend walking away from each other when they leave the forest is for the best. When it comes to Nicky, Joe isn't sure he could do less than 'always.' Better to have a clean break now than to risk Nicky leaving months or years later. That's the kind of hurt Joe isn't sure he'd recover from.</p><p>Then again, who the fuck does he think he's fooling?</p><p><br/>Nicky picks his way through the trees, and soon enough, they're back on the path.</p><p>"An hour," Nicky says. "Two at the most."</p><p>"If the forest behaves."</p><p>"If the forest behaves."</p><p>Joe watches Nicky grin and sees the anxious tightness at the corners of his eyes.</p><p>"The closer we get, the more worried I become."</p><p>"Me too," Nicky says.</p><p>"Every time I've gone through a challenge, at least I knew what I was facing. How do you even prepare for something with so many unknowns?" When the path widens, Joe catches up to Nicky.</p><p>"I think the best you can do is look at the things you can know, the ones you can prepare for, and plan for those."</p><p>Joe nods, but he's still unsettled. "What if it all goes wrong? There's no way the forest tries this hard to keep me from getting there and then leaves the spring unguarded. The beast must be real, or something like it, anyway. What if it comes between me and the thing that matters most in the world to me right now?"</p><p>He can feel Nicky's eyes on him as if he's looking for something in Joe's expression. "I'm scared of what will happen at that spring, too. We'll deal with it."</p><p>In most of his relationships, Joe is the one who will do anything for a person he loves. Only Quynh and Andy have ever done the same for him. This thing between them might not be love, not yet anyway, but Joe can't help wondering what Nicky would do for someone he cared about. "Will you stay by my side and help me?"</p><p>"If you want me there, yes. I'll help you as far as I can." He sounds so sad, and Joe's fingers twitch, wanting to reach out and take Nicky's hand.</p><p> </p><p>The path gets difficult for a while, large roots crossing it and low-hanging branches, and the two of them fall into an easy silence while they walk. Joe starts thinking about Nicky's kiss that morning, about how sure Nicky seems to be that this journey is all they get. In the beginning, Joe felt that way, too. This was a temporary alliance with an end date. But that was before last night.</p><p>It's been four days. Two days ago, Joe thought Nicky knew him better than most of his friends did. Now Joe thinks he knows Nicky better than he knew his last two lovers in the entire time they were together. Perhaps not his parents' names or where exactly he's from but— Nicky is considerate, funny, and brave. He understands and cherishes loyalty. He offered to walk a stranger through dangerous lands for four days only because the stranger might lose someone a member of their family. He shares his food, and when the food is gone, he hunts or fishes and brings more.</p><p>Nicky trusts Joe to keep them warm and feed their souls with song and story as much as he trusts Joe at his back during a fight. He wakes Joe from nightmares and fills his dreams. Often, Joe is so distracted by a new lover's display of grand romance that he fails to learn the true man until after his heart is broken. With Nicky, because Joe never intended this to be a romance, none of that happened.</p><p>Still, just because it wasn't a grand romance doesn't mean—If there's something more here, why do they have to walk away from each other when they leave the forest? Does Nicky still want that? Does Joe?</p><p>A memory flashes through Joe's head of Nicky standing behind Quynh in his first dream, arms open to welcome him home. Nothing about seeing him there had felt strange or out of place.</p><p>"Come home with me."</p><p>Nicky sighs. "That's a terrible idea, Joe."</p><p>"It doesn't have to be anything. You could come just to receive the gratitude of the queen. Come home with me."</p><p>When Nicky looks at Joe, his face is a wash of hope and sadness, and Joe wants to kiss it away. "Ask me tomorrow."</p><p>Joe darts forward to kiss Nicky. It's a simple kiss, certainly not a last kiss, and hopefully, Nicky will understand that.</p><p> </p><p>Shortly before the point when Joe would have asked anyway, Nicky says, "It's just around this bend."</p><p>After days of walking, fights against the vine creatures, the temptations of the false Quynh, and the journey across the bridge over that chasm of teeth, arriving at the spring is almost disappointingly anti-climactic.</p><p>There is a break in the trees, and beyond it, Joe can see a clearing. As he approaches the clearing, Joe can see a small structure of stone in the center, no taller than his knees and no wider than one arm could reach. He looks back at Nicky, who urges him forward.</p><p>"Go on, fill your water-skin. The steps down can be slick, especially after a rain."</p><p>Nodding, Joe steps into the clearing. It feels like for something so hard-won, there should be more than this. Except, Joe reminds himself, it only seems ordinary. The guardian beast is nearby; it has to be. Joe's belly is in knots, and his heart is pounding. He hates how quiet it is.</p><p>"You'll stay? I'm worried the beast will charge as soon as I approach." He's not worried; he's terrified.</p><p>Nicky sighs, and it looks like the weight of a lifetime is settling on his shoulder. "Joe. I'm right here."</p><p>The spring itself is no more than a handful of steps from the edge of the clearing, but Joe takes them slowly, scanning the tree line. "Aren't you worried?"</p><p>"No." Somehow, the conviction Nicky puts behind that single word is what Joe needs to urge him the rest of the way to the little stone structure and down the steps. Nicky was right, they're incredibly slick. Centuries of moss and being worn smooth by rainwater running down them has made the approach to the water source treacherous. There are only a few steps, but the narrowness means that if someone slipped, everything they might hit would be stone. He's desperately glad Nicky stopped them from doing this last night.</p><p>Once he's on the last step, he can see the water bubbling up into a little pool of water no bigger than a bucket. It's just water. There's no smell, no color; it doesn't fill him with otherworldly bliss just being near it. It's water. With the exception of the steps, this moment feels like stopping for water on any ordinary ride through the woods. Pulling the stopper from the water-skin, Joe dunks it in the pool, waits for it to feel full, and stoppers it again.</p><p>That's it.</p><p>It's mildly infuriating if he's honest, but overriding that are two things: the knowledge that he has in his hand what Andy needs to survive, and the fear that he'll be attacked before he can get back to the top of the steps. Joe is scanning every place he can see, straining to hear anything moving in the trees.</p><p>Nothing happens. When Joe reaches the top step, all he sees is Nicky, staring at him like he's about to apologize, like he's sorry for whatever's about to happen. A tiny whisper of suspicion snakes into Joe's mind, and though he knows better, though everything he's learned of Nicky tells him it's ridiculous, that his mind is spinning worst-case scenarios, Joe lets his fear take control.</p><p>"Why are you so calm? Have you worked out a bargain with it where you bring it prey, and that's why you've led me here?"</p><p>"What? No! Joe, I would never do that." He sounds so sincere, and Joe's heart wants so badly to believe him, but what other explanation is there? Nothing this valuable stays unguarded in someplace as dangerous as this forest, and Nicky looks like a man who is hiding something.</p><p>"Tell me, Nicky. Tell me it's not somewhere nearby waiting to attack!" Joe knows he's raising his voice, but his fear is getting the better of him.</p><p>"Of course it's not! Joe, I understand why you're asking, but think! All I've done the last four days is help you survive; why would I change that now?" Nicky's voice is rising, too, but it's beseeching like he's pleading with Joe to understand.</p><p>"If you're so worried about helping me survive, why aren't you watching for the guardian beast? Where is it? Why isn't it attacking?" By now, Joe is shouting, even though his mind is screaming at him that he could be alerting the beast to their presence.</p><p>There's a moment of silence before Nicky says, "You don't have anything to fear from the guardian beast; you never did. It's not attacking because you've been safe from that beast since the minute we started walking to the bridge." He steps toward Joe, hands loose at his sides. "Because the beast wants you to return to your queen." He's in front of Joe now, almost close enough for Joe to reach out and touch. "Because the beast would sooner die than hurt you."</p><p>Joe can feel his fingers gripping the water-skin, and he has to will them to relax, so he doesn't force the stopper out and spill his hard-won gains all over the ground. He was wrong before. There is another explanation. There's a terrifyingly simple explanation for every single word Nicky's saying, but Joe can't barely let himself think it.</p><p>"I told you, Joe. I never stood a chance against you."</p><p>For a heartbeat, Joe's world stops, and when it starts again, nothing is the same.</p><p>"I don't believe you."</p><p>"Yes, you do, Joe. You don't <em>want</em> to believe me, but you know every word is true. I've never lied to you about anything." Nicky sounds like he might cry.</p><p>Stumbling past him, close enough for their shoulders to brush, Joe heads for the nearest tree, bracing himself against it. He recalls each conversation, thinks of everything they've said to each other, and all the spaces in between. Nicky hadn't lied. He hadn't even gone all that far to avoid talking about it. He just told the simple truth without telling the whole truth and let Joe's mind do the rest. It seems like it shouldn't be a betrayal if Nicky never lied, but if that's true, why does it feel so much like one?</p><p>Nicky's approaching footsteps stop just behind Joe. He doesn't move from where he's resting against the tree, doesn't even look up.</p><p>"You're right, Nicky. You never lied. You told me enough truth to stop my questions and hoped like mad I wouldn't go digging for more."</p><p>"I'm sorry," Nicky whispers so softly it might almost be the breeze.</p><p>Turning to put his back against the tree, Joe sinks to the ground, dazed.</p><p>"You're telling me now, though."</p><p>"I'd rather you know the most dangerous secret I have than for you to think I would hurt you."</p><p>Behind Joe is the clearing with the spring; in front of him is Nicky. Mirroring Joe, he lowers himself to the ground with his knees almost to his chest, rests his back against a nearby tree, and returns Joe's stare.</p><p>Joe needs to adjust to this new reality, and that's going to take him a few minutes. They sit for a long time, saying nothing, long enough for Joe to see the angle of the sun shift in the trees. Nicky seems content to give Joe all the time he needs, just like he had when Joe was talking about his mother. Like he always has. Like he probably always will.</p><p>Like Nicky. He's still just Nicky. Yes, he'd kept this secret from Joe for as long as he could, but if Joe had a secret like it, one that could potentially endanger something or someone he loves if it were known, wouldn't he do the same? Isn't that loyalty and devotion part of what Joe--say it, Joe--what he loves about Nicky?</p><p>This may feel like a new world to Joe, but Nicky's world hasn't changed at all. Joe knowing Nicky is the beast doesn't make Nicky different, he's been this way all along; it makes Joe different. Now all he has to decide is <em>how</em> different this makes things.</p><p>"I've heard stories about creatures like you. They say you're cruel, monstrous."</p><p>Nicky drapes his forearms over his knees and links his hands together. "Some of us, yes. So are some of you."</p><p>Joe sighs. He's not wrong. Living in the palace, being in Quynh's inner circle, he sees people on their best behavior, but Joe knows what they can be like, especially in groups, if they're scared or angry. Sometimes they're cruel for no real reason at all.</p><p>"That's how you knew about the steps, how you knew it would be more dangerous last night."</p><p>"Yes." Nicky sounds so raw, like he's breaking his heart open for Joe and hoping whatever Joe sees there won't make him run, or worse. It's almost the most terrifying moment of this entire conversation because Joe knows that moment, he's been there before. He knows what courage it takes, trusting someone to look in all your dark corners. Nicky's been protecting himself for so long; what he's doing right now is a gesture of both soaring hope and total defeat.</p><p>Nicky is probably expecting what Joe's had time and again, to be pushed away, to be told it's too much. Joe can't even conceive of doing that to him. All he wants is to show Nicky how joyful it can be to offer someone your heart like this and have it be treasured.</p><p>"You tried to tell me. More than once."</p><p>Nicky snorts, picking up a loose piece of bark and snapping it into smaller and smaller pieces. "I didn't try very hard."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Tell me that if I'd revealed this secret the first day, you wouldn't have bolted from me the first chance you got. Tell me you'd have listened patiently, trusted me to keep you safe, and followed me to the spring. Go ahead, Joe. I'll wait." Joe almost snorts. Quynh is going to love Nicky so much.</p><p>"I'd have run the first chance I got, and I'd have thought I was escaping a monster."</p><p>"Exactly." Gesturing to the water-skin, Nicky says, "You need to return to your queen, to bring that to her. I couldn't tell you until you already had it or until you trusted me. Otherwise, you'd have run into the forest on your own, and the forest would have killed you."</p><p>Joe can only nod.</p><p>With the fear fading, the questions are flooding into Joe's head.</p><p>"What do we do next?"</p><p>"We get up and walk out of the forest."</p><p>"No, I mean, what do we do next for you?"</p><p>Nicky frowns and repeats, as though he's not sure if he's understood the question, "We get up and walk out of the forest."</p><p>"I mean for the curse, Nicky. I suppose if I fall in love with you, then it's broken?"</p><p>Nicky's face crumples. Joe knows this moment, too. It's the moment where Nicky gives up. His chest droops like he's closing his heart, hiding that true, open, honest part of himself away where it can't be hurt again. What Joe doesn't understand is why. Joe isn't pushing Nicky away, he's trying to bring Nicky closer.</p><p>"No," Nicky says. "It doesn't work like--"</p><p>"Then, how? What do we need to do? Just tell me what--"</p><p>"There's no spell, Joe!" Nearby, a bird startles at Nicky's shout and flies away. "There's no spell, nothing to break. This is who I am. I was born like this, and I will die like this." He braces his hands on the ground and leans forward, lowering his voice. "I need you to understand, Joe. Half of me is that beast, and it always will be."</p><p>"Why are you angry with me right now?"</p><p>"I told you exactly what I am, who I am. I put it in front of you, saying here, Joe, here's my whole self."</p><p>"Yes and--"</p><p>"And the first thing that came to your mind was how to cut away half of me."</p><p>"No! No, Nicky never." Joe moves to kneel in front of Nicky, cupping his face. "I'm sorry. In all the stories I've ever heard--in all the stories I've ever <em>told</em>--the only times that the beast is also a brave, funny, handsome man with a kind and loving heart are the stories with a curse. Yours is just a new kind of story for me to learn and tell. Nicky, I wouldn't take away a single thing about who you are. Not a hair on your head."</p><p>Nicky's hands wrap around Joe's, pressing them against his face. "This isn't a curse for me. I don't rail against it or blame fate. I don't mind being who I am. I mind being thought a monster for who I am."</p><p>To Joe, Nicky may be a beast, but he could never be a monster. This will take work, certainly, but Joe knows it will be worth it.</p><p>Leaning forward, Joe rests his head against Nicky's, feels the spot of warmth where their foreheads touch. "I'm sorry. Thank you."</p><p>Nicky sighs, his hands cupping the back of Joe's neck. "Thank me when we're on the path again; we need to get moving and get you back to your queen."</p><p>Standing, brushing the dirt off his breeches, Nicky holds out a hand for Joe. His hand feels warm and dry and perfectly ordinary. His hands are the same; his eyes are the same. He's exactly who he was four hours ago, exactly who he was last night. Joe can feel the back of his neck flush at the memory.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes down the path, Nicky asks, "What were you thanking me for?"</p><p>"Telling me. It's not an easy thing to stand in front of someone and offer your heart—not just the pretty parts, but every hidden bit of yourself to them. Thank you for taking that chance."</p><p>Nicky doesn't say anything; he only nods and keeps walking.</p><p>"Wait—Why are we not walking back out the same path?"</p><p>"It's not the fastest way out of here."</p><p>"Then why was it the fastest way in?"</p><p>Nicky laughs, and for all that it sounds a little forced, it's there. "Joe, you were coming to take the one thing the forest holds dear about all others. There was never going to be a fastest way in for you, not even with me by your side."</p><p>"You could keep us alive but—"</p><p>"I'm not sure I could have done that, even. We'd never have made it past the vine creatures without your blade and your skills."</p><p>"What was my other choice?"</p><p>"Oh, Joe, you'd be surprised at the number of people who got that far into the forest and just gave up."</p><p>"What happened to them?"</p><p>"I've never asked the forest, and it's never said."</p><p>They've come to a section of the path that goes down a steep incline, so they both stop talking to focus on keeping their feet under them. Once they're at the bottom, they walk for a while in silence until Joe decides it's time to take a risk.</p><p>"I have a question."</p><p>"I'm sure you do."</p><p>"I'll understand if you can't tell me, but I have to ask. I know you caught that rabbit the first night."</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"The fish, though, what was the secret with them?"</p><p>Nicky stops, turning to look at Joe. "What?" He sounds like Joe just asked him why clouds are purple.</p><p>"Well, I don't know how a magical creature fishes. I imagine it's something like standing on the bank of the creek and whistling a tune that summons them and compels them to leap on to the grass where you can gather them up to eat."</p><p>Nicky's eyebrows draw together. "I what?"</p><p>Joe looks back at him, perfectly earnest.</p><p>Eyes falling shut, Nicky shakes his head slowly back and forth. "You ass."</p><p>Probably Joe should feel a little bad about taking the piss out of a man this soon off a moment of life-altering vulnerability, but he's taking a gamble that this will help Nicky realize how little he's changed in Joe's eyes.</p><p>"I can't believe you—Whistling, Joe? Really?"</p><p>By now, Joe is working so hard to hold in his laugh that he's shaking. Nicky's face has broken into a broad grin, and oh, yes, that's another thing that's the same. The way he smiles when he looks at Joe is as warm and heart-melting as it's always been.</p><p>"You have the best laugh," Nicky says.</p><p>Slightly startled, Joe says, "I see we're open about everything now."</p><p>Nicky's face goes serious again. "Joe, you can have any secret that's mine to tell." He turns and starts down the path again.</p><p> </p><p>They stop at midday just to rest for a moment. Joe takes Nicky's hand and puts a dozen or so bright red berries in his palm. Nicky looks up at him, blinking.</p><p>"Those are the ones we had the second afternoon, right? So they're safe?"</p><p>"Yes, they are."</p><p>"I'd be a shit storyteller if I didn't have a memory for details, Nicky."</p><p>It's a short rest, but enough time for Joe to feel the sun on his face, hear the breeze blowing through the trees, and sit next to Nicky for a moment. Reaching over, he takes Nicky's hand, and though Nicky goes stiff for a second, Joe doesn't let go, and eventually, Nicky relaxes, curling his fingers around Joe's hand.</p><p>They're off the trail less than five minutes, but it's five minutes perfectly spent.</p><p> </p><p>Most of the walk that afternoon is easy, though there's a stretch where the path pitches upward, and Joe finds himself more climbing than walking. When they're past that, he realizes he's left one of the most important questions unasked.</p><p>"Nicky, will you—"</p><p>"There it is."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I just wondered how long it would take. Credit where it's due; you made it at least two hours longer than I thought you would."</p><p>"Don't put words in my mouth, Nicky, and don't assume you know everything I'm going to ask."</p><p>"Joe, if you weren't about to ask if you could see him, I will apologize until I run out of breath."</p><p>Briefly, very briefly, Joe considers lying.</p><p>"I was."</p><p>"It's another part of being a not-shit storyteller, I guess." Nicky flashes a smile at Joe. "Sadly, you're going to have to exercise another storyteller skill and use your imagination."</p><p>"You won't show me?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"No?"</p><p>Nicky's smile is gone. "Joe, it's not a party trick."</p><p>"I never suggested it was. You're not a monster, Nicky; I get that now. This is just part of who you are."</p><p>"Tell me that if you saw a huge, ugly, vicious beast in front of you right now, it wouldn't affect the way you remember me, that it wouldn't color every memory of all our other moments." He closes his eyes, thinks about what he wants to say, and then looks Joe straight in the eye. "Tell me it won't be there in your mind when you remember last night."</p><p>"I can't. It probably will, but why is that a bad thing? To know that a creature like that is half of you, but you never touched me with anything but devotion and joy? That makes my memories richer, Nicky."</p><p>"Tomorrow. Ask me tomorrow."</p><p>The path isn't quite wide enough, but Joe doesn't care. He catches up, so they're walking side-by-side.</p><p>"Tomorrow's starting to fill up with questions, Nicky. Why are we pushing everything off?"</p><p>"Just. Can we not discuss this right now? Just not right now."</p><p>"Okay." Joe puts his hand on Nicky's head, running it down the back, feeling all that wonderful, soft hair, and letting it rest on the nape of his neck. "Okay."</p><p> </p><p>They talk about things of no importance for a while, about their favorite seasons and which plants around them are edible. Just as the sun starts to slant into the trees, late afternoon coming on, Nicky turns to Joe. He searches Joe's face, and Joe wonders what he's hoping to see.</p><p>Nicky sets his jaw and takes a deep breath. Whatever he was searching for, he seems to have found it.</p><p>"If I show you tomorrow. If I show you, promise you'll never put a true description of the beast into a story or a song or—anything. Where we are, what we are, those are details no one can know. Promise me."</p><p>"I won't. They'll all be stories about a forest forty day's ride from here, and if you're thirty feet tall with red scales, I'll only ever say that you're a huge black—I don't know. Something that isn't thirty feet tall with scales. They're your secrets, Nicky. I know what that responsibility means."</p><p>"This isn't about me, Joe. It's everything living in this forest. Stories about magical creatures, mythical beasts, those get under the skin of every kid with something to prove and every adult looking for a trophy. This forest? It's where we're safe."</p><p>"You're worried people might flock here trying to hunt you."</p><p>"It's not a 'might' Joe; it's just a 'when.' Why do you think the forest is like this?"</p><p>"Tell me?"</p><p>"The spring doesn't just heal those like you. It keeps those like me alive; it keeps the forest alive and gives it the ability to defend itself and its charges. People used to come here constantly, trying to win a prize or make a name for themselves. Some of the things that live here were hunted until they were nearly gone. Eventually, the forest saw what might happen to its creatures and started using the power it got from the spring to provide us sanctuary. Over time the forest got better and better at hiding us, and it got frighteningly good at protecting us <em>and</em> itself. What things it didn't have the power to protect, it called on my kind—my family, I suppose—to guard."</p><p>He kicks a rock off the path and stares off into the trees like he's looking for something specific. "If enough time goes by without someone coming home from a hunting trip with a dragon or a giant wolf, those things start just to be stories. Most of the things that live here are only tales now, as far as your world is concerned. I'm trusting you to help keep it that way."</p><p>Joe feels a bit like he's been handed a leash with a lion at the other end and told that it won't attack if he just keeps calm.</p><p>"If that's true, why did you help me? Why are you letting me walk out of here with something the forest needs to keep you all safe?"</p><p>Nicky chews at the corner of his lip, looking like he's trying to find the right words. "You weren't here for yourself. Not for glory or prizes or fame. Even those knights were here trying to be the hero who brought back the cure. You just wanted to help someone you love to stay alive. I heard your reasons, I saw—I knew it was important, and I took a chance. One man taking one water-skin away won't bring the forest to its knees."</p><p>Joe stops in the middle of the path, grabbing Nicky's arm and forcing him to meet Joe's eyes. "That's all?"</p><p>Something like pain chases across Nicky's face. "Every secret that's mine to tell, Joe."</p><p>"Alright. That's all I needed."</p><p> </p><p>The trees cast long shadows by the time Nicky decides it's time to stop for the day.   </p><p>"I'll handle the fire again," Joe says.</p><p>"Good." Nicky opens his satchel and starts pulling things out, rummaging around for something specific. He drops his cloak onto a bare patch of ground. Next to it, he drops a wadded-up bundle of fabric that opens to reveal four berries of indeterminate age, followed by an empty water-skin. "As soon as I can find my lute, I'll see if I can go convince a small deer to dance its way onto a spit."</p><p>Joe doesn't get the water-skin away from his face quite fast enough, and for a minute, he's not sure if he's laughing or choking. "Forget turning into a beast. <em>This</em> is why you're a monster."</p><p>The sound of Nicky laughing trails behind him as he ventures off into the trees.</p><p>Joe manages to find enough dry leaves to catch the spark from his flint and the last of his tinder. There wasn't much in the way of wood that he could find, so once he's got the first bit of kindling burning, Joe turns to check the ground around the nearest trees again.</p><p>He returns with an armload of branches to one of the most unsettling things he's seen in the forest yet, and he's including the vine creatures.</p><p>Standing on top of Nicky's cloak is a sleek golden weasel. The animal itself isn't extraordinary, but it's looking at Joe like it knows his name and what he had for dinner the night before. For at least a minute, the man and the animal stand, regarding each other with wary, curious eyes. At the sound of footsteps in the undergrowth, Joe calls, "Nicky?"</p><p>"Is everything okay?" Nicky yells.</p><p>"I think so? You need to come see this."</p><p>When Nicky is close enough for Joe to make out his face, the weasel sits and swishes its tail, its hindquarters swaying with the movement.</p><p>"I'm not sure if it's friendly," Joe says, gesturing to the weasel. "It doesn't seem to be—"</p><p>Nicky stares at it. His tone is dry and unamused as he says, "You are the worst. I'm not getting angry just for your amusement, you little furry asshole."</p><p>It sits up on its hind legs and regards Nicky, looking for all the world like it's pleased with itself.</p><p>"Is it friendly?" Joe asks.</p><p>Nicky scoffs. "Define 'friendly.'" To the weasel, he says, "Are you just going to sit there and be an ass, or would you like dinner?" The weasel's tail twitches. "Joe, you might want to look the other direction for a moment."</p><p>When Joe turns back around, Nicky's cloak is draped around a tall, well-muscled blond man with the saddest eyes Joe's ever seen.</p><p>His legs and feet are bare beneath the cloak. "Please tell me there's something between your skin and the cloak," Joe says.</p><p>The stranger dips his head low enough to smell the neckline of the cloak. "You're very prissy for a man responsible for at least half of everything else I smell on it."</p><p>Nicky sighs. "Joe, this is Booker. He's..."</p><p>"A shape-shifting weasel."</p><p>"I have other fine traits," Booker smirks at them.</p><p>"Booker is a loyal ally, a fierce protector, and a dangerous enemy."</p><p>In the face of compliments when he seemed to be expecting more derision, Booker only stares at Nicky.</p><p>"Fuck you, Nicolò. That was mean."</p><p>It's Nicky's turn to smirk. "I'm sorry to have wasted all your witty retorts."</p><p>Booker turns to Joe. "He's got a mouth that vicious, and you let him put it—"</p><p>"Book!"</p><p>Joe decides that avoiding that particular topic is the wisest decision. He adds some wood to the fire. Nicky drops to a crouch and finishes cleaning his catch, tossing any bits they won't eat to the side. At first, Joe thinks Booker is only going to watch and offer running commentary on Nicky's skills, but he carefully disposes of Nicky's waste pile. He walks past the edge of the tree line and keeps going long enough to be out of eyesight of the camp.</p><p>"He'll make sure to leave everything somewhere that the carrion eaters can get to it."</p><p>"Is he family?"</p><p>Nicky shakes his head. "No, he's just—Well. I suppose he is if I'm honest. The same way your sister is family to you." He looks up, probably checking for Booker's return. "I've known him all my life. When I was learning to hunt as a human, he came with us. We learned to ride horses together, too." He pauses, breathes. "He's been keeping pace with us as much as he can for the last couple of days." Nicky arranges the meat on a roasting stick and holds it over the fire. “At first, I think he was worried for me; then, he was worried for both of us. He kept watch the night after the vine creatures. I think he was hoping something would try to attack us so he'd have an excuse to bite me on the ankle."</p><p>Through the trees, they can hear Booker returning. The fire pops as fat drips from the meat Nicky is slowly turning above it.</p><p>"You both look cheery. Especially you, Joe. I'd have expected more smiles from a man who just got—"</p><p>"Booker." Nicky glares at Booker.</p><p>"—the prize in his quest, Nicky. Is what I was going to say."</p><p>"You'll forgive me if a lifetime of you entertaining yourself by mocking me to get under my skin has made me wary."</p><p>"Well, you don't need to worry about me doing that to Joe."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Joe looks at Booker's face and sees a startlingly familiar expression. He looks exactly like a storyteller whose audience has just walked right into the punchline. It's endearing in a way Joe wouldn't have expected.</p><p>"Why would I bother?" Booker says. "I can tell by looking at him the best way to get under his skin is to pick on you."</p><p>Nicky sighs and drops his head back, staring up at the trees, exasperated.</p><p>"You know, Joe, Nicky thinks he's clever, disarming me by being nice, but two can play at that game. Would you like to see?"</p><p>Joe thinks he'd happily watch these two minds wrestle for hours. "Please."</p><p>Nicky raises his head enough to be looking at Booker from under a rogue lock of hair. Booker meets his eyes.</p><p>"I had an idea where this was going after our first talk and took a chance while the forest was busy with you." He reaches forward and tears a strip of meat off the spit. "His horse with yours. I made sure she had food and water. It will save him some time getting home."</p><p>Nicky is staring at Booker with a look that's a mix of disbelief and affection and gratitude.</p><p>"Thank you, Booker."</p><p>"You should thank me. I gave up a chance to watch him ride home on you."</p><p>Nicky lunges out with his free arm, trying to swat Booker, but only succeeds in dragging the meat through the flames.</p><p>Joe grabs the spit from him, returning it to the right spot for cooking. "You have— Well, I suppose you must have a house or at least a place to live as a human. I'm not sure why I'm surprised."</p><p>Nicky, very obviously ignoring Booker, nods. "I have a small house at the edge of the forest. We'll come out near there if all goes well."</p><p>"What might not go well?"</p><p>"In this forest? Anything."</p><p>"Do you have family there with you?"</p><p>Nicky shakes his head. Once it's finished cooking, he carefully portions out the food before dropping to sit between Joe and Booker.</p><p>"I used to. It was my parents' house, and I grew up there, but." The moment hangs in the air. "They're gone. My mother just after I turned fifteen. Childbirth." That one word is all Nicky needs to say. "My father was around longer. He was bitten by something and didn't survive the illness."</p><p>Joe doesn't want to look like a fool, but he <em>has</em> to ask. "The illness?"</p><p>Nicky frowns, confused, but Booker laughs. "No, not anything interesting like a werewolf. In fact, I think that's what made the old man angriest. Not the fact that he was dying, but that a fox was responsible for it. The wound turned to—"</p><p>"We are <em>eating.</em>" To Joe, Nicky says, "My family was never very large, one uncle on either side, my mother's parents were already gone by the time I was born. The was no great drama to any of their deaths, just accidents and illness, and other mundane tragedies. Now, it's only me in that house."</p><p>Joe frowns. "What about. What about the rest?"</p><p>Booker whistles, low and long. "I'm glad I'm here for this."</p><p>"I told you the forest got better at protecting us?" Joe nods. A tree could fall behind him, and Joe's not sure he'd notice, so intent is he on Nicky's story. "The more defenses the forest can create on its own, the fewer guardians it needs."</p><p>Nicky takes a bite of meat, washing it down with a swig of water. When Booker looks like he's about to speak, Nicky holds up on finger until he can get the stopper back on the water-skin.</p><p>"This is not your story," Nicky says.</p><p>"You say that like I didn't care about any of them."</p><p>"You can care all you want, Book, but you've still got a family in this forest. At least two of your shifty cousins are running around in here on any given day because you learned from our mistakes. If Joe wants to know the story of your kind, you feel free to tell him, but—"Nicky closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. "This one is mine."</p><p>"When you talk about them, they're still here a little, eh?" Joe asks.</p><p>Nicky nods. "Exactly." The look Nicky's giving him feels like it's drilling into Joe's heart, but he can't read what's behind it. Nicky shakes his head a little before continuing his story. "There weren't ever very many of us. A few dozen at most at any given time, and by the time the forest stopped needing all of us, there were barely more than twenty. "He rakes his hand through his hair, then stares at his palm, frowning, before dropping his forehead onto his fist. "The first one left just before I was born—my mother’s best friend. Teenagers had left before, but they'd always come back. You can push against the sides of your small box all you want, but for those kids? They missed it more than they hated it. Except for this girl. I used to wonder what happened to her; I'd make up lives for her."</p><p>Booker tosses another piece of wood onto the fire, and Joe watches a column of sparks rise to the trees, only to fade out just before hitting the lowest leaves.</p><p>"Not long after I was born, people started drifting away, moving to villages or starting farms. It seems like the oddest life, doesn't it? Huge, terrifying beasts driving plows or harvesting vegetables, it's ridiculous, but if it made them happy, that's all we ever wanted for each other. My father was the guardian beast for the spring, and I knew it was my duty after he passed, so our family stayed and wished them all well. What they didn't do, what might have saved them, some of them anyway, was settle near each other."</p><p>Joe is sitting with his back to the fire, watching the flames cast shadows across Nicky's face. When he hears Nicky's voice get tight, Joe reaches over and puts one hand on his ankle. He hopes the touch says, 'I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.'</p><p>"The first message I can remember came when I was ten, but my father said there were a couple before that. When people had news, or they just wanted to reach out, they'd send word to my father. One day a message came from one man saying that his wife had fallen ill suddenly, he wanted to know if my mother could come sit with her. The message took a few days to get to us, and my mother took a few days to get to them. By the time she got there, they were both gone, and their son with them. There was an illness running through their village, so we credited that and mourned them, but— news kept coming."</p><p>Joe squeezes Nicky's ankle, and Nicky answers him with a watery smile.</p><p>"A few months later, my cousin sent word to tell us that she'd lost a baby. She said she'd written to her closest friend from childhood to come stay with her. We sent condolences. What else could we do? Two weeks later, when my mother went to the closest village to trade, the traveling cobbler said he'd just been through that village and that both my cousin and her friend were gone. It went like that. We had a few families we hadn't heard from in a few months, but that wasn't always a bad sign. By this point, it had been four years since the last family left, and of the nearly twenty, ten of them had passed." He stops for a minute, swallows.</p><p>Booker gets up and takes the stick with the last of the meat on it and carries it out into the woods as he'd done with the other bits earlier. Nicky leans back on his hands and stares up into the black, and Joe wishes more than anything that he knew what Nicky saw instead of the sky.</p><p>"If we even thought something like this could happen, we'd have noticed that the ones who left earliest passed first, but we didn't. We didn't even put it together from the sheer numbers because enough of them were excusable other ways. A plague in their village or losing a child. A grieving husband and father who stops eating. We mourned, but in our grief, we missed the connections. It was my father, during one of those arguments that's not an argument over something like who I used to play with as a child. He started ticking off the families and his face—" Nicky looks up and meet's Joe's eyes. "I've seen terrible things, I've <em>done</em> terrible things, but the look on my father's face when the pieces came together is the only thing that haunts my nightmares."</p><p>Joe gets up and goes to sit side-by-side with Nicky. He wraps both off his hands around one of Nicky's and feels an answering squeeze so tight Joe barely holds back a wince. Joe lets his weight rest against Nicky, lets himself be a solid presence at his side.</p><p>"Five years. Give or take a couple of months, they all lasted five years. When we finally figured it out, my father sent me to the last family who'd left, to make sure they knew, and to see about the others who hadn't been in contact recently."</p><p>Nicky shakes his head, and his sigh is the sound of a soul crushed, the cry of an entire population wiped away without even the chance to save themselves. It's the sound of a boy without playmates and a man without a family. Alone. </p><p>"I'm the one who got to come back to my father and tell him we were the only ones left and had been for months. I had to tell him that almost everyone he loved had died scared and confused, many of them alone. He didn't bother undressing before he shifted; he barely got out of the house first, and he didn't come home for a week. For those days, and days after, I only ate because someone brought me food watched me to make sure I finished it. I only slept because they sat beside my bed in case I woke in the night."</p><p>"I wish I could thank them for being with you when you needed someone most," Joe says, squeezing Nicky's hand.</p><p>On Nicky's other side, Booker drops another piece of wood into the fire. "You're welcome."</p><p>They're all quiet for a long time. Joe knows Nicky will tell him more if he wants to know, but for now, all he wants is to sit next to Nicky and sweep his thumb across the back of Nicky's hand.</p><p> </p><p>Eventually, Booker holds out a piece of wood to Joe, who reluctantly lets Nicky go with one hand to take it.</p><p>"Here, you're on fire duty again. It would be just my luck for him to decide he wants you to kiss it and make it better, and I'd be stuck here listening to it. I need to go before that happens."</p><p>"Good night, Booker," Nicky says. "Thank you again."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"All of it," Nicky says. "I'm not going to feed your fuzzy little ego by listing everything you've done for Joe or me." He's trying to sound grumpy, but Joe can hear the tug of something lighter in his voice. Booker, it seems, is precisely the asshole the situation called for.</p><p>"I'm glad you came, Joe," Booker says, then turns to Nicky and nods in a way that's trying so hard to look dismissive but instead looks concerned. "Nicolò."</p><p>"Stay safe, Booker."</p><p>It seems to Joe like in the span of a blink, the man is gone, and the weasel is back. It stands on Nicky's cloak for a second or two longer than necessary. Just long enough for Nicky to glower at it. "Don't do it. Whatever you're thinking."</p><p>The weasel raises up on its hind legs for a second before darting off into the trees.</p><p>Nicky sighs, and this time it's not so heavy. "I'm going to have to burn that cloak."</p><p>Joe can't hide his grin. "So, really, you weren't entirely accurate when you said you didn't have siblings."</p><p>Groaning, Nicky drops his face into the palm of his free hand. "I hate how much I care about him; it means he enjoys being an ass to me so much more than he might otherwise."</p><p>Squeezing Nicky's hand one more time, Joe says, "Thank you. You didn't have to tell me—"</p><p>"I know." He turns to face Joe. "Every secret that's mine to tell."</p><p>"In that case," Joe says, trying like hell to keep Nicky from being overcome by maudlin memories. "Nicolò?"</p><p>"I hate that weasel."</p><p>"No, you don't. You just wish you did," Joe says, and Nicky nods like he hates how true that is. There's a ghost of a smile on his face. "Is that your full name?"</p><p>"It is. It was my mother's brother's name. He died before I was born. She said he was funny and brave and loyal. I tried to live up to that."</p><p>"So tell me, Nicolò." Joe winks at him and hopes Nicky can see it in the dark. "If I know your true name, does that mean I have power over you?"</p><p>Nicky huffs a little laugh and scoots closer to Joe, leaning into him. "Oh, yes."</p><p>The forest seems determined to keep surprising Joe. "Really?"</p><p>Nicky nods.</p><p>"Is it—How? Magic?" Joe gestures toward the trees with one hand. "Something the forest does?"</p><p>"No, nothing so fantastic." Nicky brushes something out of Joe's hair, cups his face in one broad palm, then drops his hand back to his lap. "The name holds no power itself. It's only that if I trust you enough to call me by the name my family used? You're already important enough to me that I'll do anything you ask."</p><p>He would help anyone; that's how his heart is made. He would save anyone he could, but outside of his family, Nicky's only ever let himself be known this completely by Joe. If he were a different kind of man, Joe could take the things he knows about the forest and Nicky and send the world crashing through their door. Faced with hundreds of knights at once, not even the forest couldn't keep up the fight, and the only thing Nicky's done to stop him from doing precisely that is to say 'please.'</p><p>Joe's heart is suddenly slamming against his ribs.</p><p>All he can think about is the dream of the two of them at the palace. He remembers his own words to that dream Nicky. Which moment was more romantic, Nicky saving Joe from being strangled to death by a vine creature, or sitting here by this fire showing Joe the rawest, most vulnerable parts of himself, his worst memories and deepest secrets? Would it be coming back to rescue him on the bridge or trusting Joe enough to use the name his mother used to sing him to sleep as a child?</p><p>His thoughts from earlier—was it only this morning?— come back to Joe, that this strange time out of time has let him grow to trust Nicky because Nicky earned that trust time and again. This forest has let him learn the truth of Nicky, and tonight Nicky made sure Joe knew he wasn't holding anything back. Joe will take the steady, unending warmth of a low fire over one that blazes bright for a second and then leaves everyone cold.</p><p>This ridiculous man, this accidental love. Joe wants to kiss him and never stop.</p><p>"Anything?" Joe asks. "Then I'll ask again; come back with me." Nicky starts to speak, but Joe rolls right over him. You said to ask tomorrow; it has to be a new day by now. So come back with me. Please?"</p><p>"I can't."</p><p>"Why? We're less than a day's ride away. You could come here whenever you needed it."</p><p>"You think I haven't spent every minute of this day wishing I could? I want that so much I can almost feel it in my hands."</p><p>"Then, <em>why?</em> If you're going to trust me, Nicky, then fucking trust me! I know who you are—"</p><p>"Do you? Even if I didn't have a duty to the forest, I'm not a house pet, Joe! I'm not one of those beasts from a child's story that looks harmless once you put a ribbon in my hair!" Nicky steps close. "I don't belong in your palace, Joe." His hand strokes up the side of Joe's neck to rest under his jaw. Nicky's mouth is at Joe's ear, his breath hot on Joe's skin.</p><p>There's no sound, no change in Nicky's breathing, the only way Joe knows something has changed is that one second he feels blunt fingertips against his neck, and the next second he feels the lethally sharp tip of one claw resting against skin. The claw nudges just under his jaw and guides Joe's head up until he's facing Nicky, meeting his eyes. His expression is menacing and dangerous. "<em>This</em> doesn't belong in your palace."</p><p>Joe doesn't flinch, and he doesn't look away. "Bullshit. You played your high card too early to bluff me about this now."</p><p>Right now, Nicky says he's trying to protect Joe, but everything he's doing screams that he's trying to protect himself. At the slightest pressure from Joe's hand resting on Nicky's wrist, the claw falls away. </p><p>"Trying to convince me that that half of you is a dangerous, barely-controlled predator might work better if you hadn't spent so much of this morning telling me I never had anything to fear from your beast. It might work if you hadn't worked so damn hard not to hurt me just now. Stop trying to protect me from something that isn't a threat. I know who you are, I know <em>what</em> you are, even if I've never seen it, and I know I never want to be without you. So just—Just stop, Nicky." Joe reaches up and cups the back of Nicky's neck. "You don't get to open your heart to me and then tell me I don't want it; that's not your choice."</p><p>"Joe, you don't know—"</p><p>"Is there another secret about you that you haven't shared? You don't lure people into the forest just to eat them, do you? Maybe you've got twelve kids in a nearby village, and a wife tucked away somewhere?" Nicky's earlier intimidating expression has faded to reveal the face of someone desperately, achingly afraid of the tiny spark of hope sitting in his heart. Joe tightens his grip on the back of Nicky's neck. "Let me love you as much as I want to. If it's a mistake, it will be my mistake."</p><p>"What about the forest?"</p><p>Joe tugs until Nicky's forehead is resting on the side of his neck. He strokes the back of Nicky's head, buries his fingers in Nicky's hair. "We'll think of something." Joe wraps his arms around Nicky and feels Nicky return the embrace, clinging to Joe. If Nicky was willing to wait while Joe adjusted to his new reality, then Joe can offer nothing less in return. He'll hold Nicky for as long as Nicky wants.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes of quiet drift by, marked only by the movement of Joe stroking Nicky's head. Before long, he can feel as Nicky dozes off and relaxes into him. Dangerous and barely-controlled, clearly.</p><p>Joe tries to control the hitch of his chest as he laughs, but Nicky startles awake anyway. "Sorry, I sometimes forget how it can wear you out, just making words. I haven't talked this much in years."</p><p>"Well, they weren't exactly the easiest words, either. I have an idea. Let's put your cloak on the ground and lay down on it with my cloak over us, and we can not talk for a while. How does that sound?" He kisses the side of Nicky's head.</p><p>"I like the idea of not talking. I enjoy not talking with you." Nicky lifts his head and smiles. That's more than Joe can resist. He does what he's been wanting to do since they left the cave that morning; he kisses Nicky right on the mouth.</p><p>They keep trading kisses as they build up the fire and lay Nicky's cloak next to it. Once they're under Joe's cloak, he decides to branch out and drops a line of kisses along the underside of Nicky's jaw. Not to be outdone, Nicky drags Joe's mouth back to his and licks at the seam of his lips until Joe can't help but open to him. It's a long, slow, lazy kiss, and Joe wants thousands more just like it.</p><p>It feels like it's been three days in one, and they're both exhausted, but even so, before long, the kisses get harder, a little sloppier. Joe's hands move from Nicky's neck to his back to dipping under the waist of his breeches to feel his warm skin. He can feel Nicky's sigh against his cheek.</p><p>When Nicky's hand slips under Joe's tunic and splays across his back, the burst of heat has Joe moaning into Nicky's mouth. He wants to give Nicky everything, but he knows Nicky deserves better than Joe could give him tonight, and he might like to be awake when it happens. "I don't know how--"</p><p>Nicky's mouth seals over his, and any other words are gone. The angle is odd, and it's hard to get any leverage on their sides, so Nicky rolls them until Joe is draped across his chest, his legs between Nicky's thighs. Someday, if Joe can convince Nicky that everything he said tonight was true, they're going to do this again, but with bare skin and some rest beforehand. The hand not on Joe's back strays up to his neck, fingers slipping into Joe's hair. Nicky nips at Joe's lower lip, and before he can stop himself, Joe's hips are grinding down onto Nicky's. The shock of pleasure snakes up Joe's spine. How long has he been hard? How long has <em>Nicky</em> been hard?</p><p>Part of Joe wants to speed up, to chase this feeling down, but he feels Nicky's hand slip to his lower back, then close around his hip, slowing his pace. If Nicky wants this to be slow, Joe is happy to give that to him. The air is too chilly, and the fire is too hot. Joe's shirt is too rough to be grinding against his cock, and there's a rock under his knee, but he wouldn't trade this night for any other. He wants to tell Nicky everything in his heart, wants to drip honeyed words into his ear about how good he is, how kind, how much he means to Joe, but to say any of it, Joe would have to stop kissing him, an idea that doesn't bear thinking about right now.</p><p>They could stop at any time, there's no need for this to lead anywhere, it's just nice to be here, alive, and kissing. Still, though it may have slowed, the roll of Joe's hips doesn't stop. There's a dreamlike quality to these kisses like they're happening in another world, and when Joe wakes tomorrow, he won't be able to remember if they were real. He sucks on Nicky's lower lip and listens to the sound it pulls from him, an aching groan. Testing the waters, Joe sinks his teeth in a little. Nicky's groan goes desperate and throaty. He pulls back, nosing at Nicky's jaw, sucking kiss after kiss into his neck. Just at the point where Joe thinks he might want another nip at Nicky's mouth, his right boot slips off the toehold he's had so far, the one that's been giving him the leverage to control the force and angle of his hips. The movement drives Joe forward suddenly, and his hips grind down onto Nicky's hard and fast. Under his lips, Joe can feel the gasp move through Nicky's throat.</p><p>Neither of them moves any faster, but their actions take on a desperate air, and soon, Joe is bracing himself on his elbow so he can snake his hand down the front of Nicky's breeches. He has to fumble past the bottom of Nicky's shirt, but it's worth the effort when his hand closes around Nicky's cock. Hitching his hips up into the touch, Nicky grunts then moans. Joe feels hands fumbling at the front of his breeches and almost wants to tell Nicky to wait his turn. He might have, but for the fact that Nicky's hand pushes in and his finger brushes over Joe's length, swiping across the head.</p><p>After that, everything is awkward and achingly sweet by turns. Nicky kisses Joe just before twisting his wrist and rolling his hand over the head of Joe's cock. He drinks in every sound of pleasure Joe makes, sipping them straight from his mouth. Joe, fighting to keep his balance while he's trying to coax Nicky's orgasm to the surface, isn't capable of the same kind of finesse. Instead, he lays his palm flat against Nicky's cock, fingers stretching to stroke his balls. Nicky rolls up into the pressure, driving himself closer, fucking himself against Joe's hand.</p><p>It feels like they're both perched on the edge, but Joe falls first. Nicky does something with his thumb, and Joe feels pleasure filling his limbs and pushing at his skin from the inside. He makes a sound like a strangled gasp and doesn't even try to hold it back. His face is hot, and his fingertips are tingling, and he can't do anything but push himself into Nicky's hand and let go, coming and coming and coming.</p><p>For a second, he can't hear anything, but when Joe's feet come back to earth, he notices Nicky, still fucking against Joe's hand, and muttering quietly. Joe grips Nicky again, tightening his fingers until Nicky gasps, then keeping them just that tight as Nicky pumps himself into Joe's fist. Shifting his angle, Joe is able to stroke Nicky, pushing down as Nicky thrusts up. It's incredibly awkward, but from the noises Nicky is making, Joe won't have to do it for long. He kisses Nicky's neck, nips at the skin, and puts his ear close enough to hear Nicky's teeth snap closed as he groans and pushes up one last time. Joe does his best to catch the mess, but tomorrow is going to be an itchy nightmare for both of them if they're not careful. He'll worry about that in a minute; for now, all he wants is to hear Nicky's groans trail off into soft moans, the last twitches of his hips helping Joe wring the pleasure from him.</p><p>Nicky tugs at Joe's hair with his free hand until he can kiss Joe's mouth, licking his way between Joe's lips with a quiet whimper. Nicky is pouring every bit of emotion into the kiss. Joe can feel trust and passion and joy and something that might have a name, someday, but Joe's willing to wait for that, too.</p><p>He slips his hand free from Nicky's breeches and drags it across a tuft of grass not far from Nicky's head, getting rid of the worst of the mess. As for the rest? He finds the corner of Nicky's cloak and flips it over, wiping his hand clean before flicking it back so that side is on the ground again.</p><p>Looking back at Nicky, Joe's met with a look of amused horror.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Nicky cocks one eyebrow. "Seriously?"</p><p>"Like you weren't going to burn it anyway." Nicky's eyebrows lift, and he bobs his head a little as if to say, that yes, that had been the plan. "I'm curious what you think my alternative was."</p><p>Without breaking eye contact, Nicky pulls his hand from Joe's breeches and licks it spotless, not a trace of Joe's come left behind. Joe's ears go hot, and he knows his face is flushed. It's possibly the hottest thing he's ever seen. "Filthy, Nicky."</p><p>He shakes his head. "No, I'll show you filthy."</p><p>"Oh?"</p><p>"Kiss me."</p><p>Filthy or not, that's an offer Joe doesn't even try to resist.</p><p>They find themselves in the same position they'd fallen asleep in the night before. Joe is stretched along Nicky's back, his arm around Nicky's chest like he's afraid Nicky will be stolen in the night. When Joe laces their fingers together, Nicky brings their joined hands to his mouth and kisses Joe's knuckles.</p><p>"I thought about saying it earlier, but the time wasn't right." Nicky squeezes Joe's hand before continuing. "But I think there might never be a right time for something like this, and it needs to be said."</p><p>Joe kisses him behind the ear. "You can tell me anything."</p><p>"Earlier, when I talked about my family, told their story, it was like they were still here a bit. You said that."</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Sharing those memories, bringing them to life just for a minute or two? Didn't make them less mine. It didn't dim them; they only felt brighter." Nicky ducks his head and kisses Joe's forearm. "Keep that in mind when you're telling everyone that you don't remember anything about your mother."</p><p>Joe can't swallow, can barely breathe around the knot in his throat. Nicky's right; of course he is. It's the defense mechanism of a child, this hoarding of memories, but he's been doing it so long he doesn't know how to stop. For a second, he dares imagine a night in his rooms at the palace, sitting by the fire with Nicky, telling all those stories. Maybe. "What is it Booker says when you tell him a truth he doesn't want to hear? Oh, I remember. Fuck you, Nicolò."</p><p>"I know." He can feel Nicky's body shake with a small laugh and then a sigh. "Say it again."</p><p>Joe rubs his nose against the back of Nicky's neck, drinking in the smell of him, the solid warmth against his chest, and the feel of their fingers laced together.</p><p>"Nicolò."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter should go up Saturday early in the day. If you celebrate it, Happy Christmas. If not, I wish you a wonderful weekend.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Like a shadow flitting across his memory, Joe remembers Quynh's words about Andy.</p><p>  <i>I waited so long to find her. I can't lose her now.</i></p><p>He hadn't fully understood the anguish in Quynh's voice until now. 'I waited so long. I waited so long, and we've barely had a chance to start our story,' he thinks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone for taking a chance on this AU, and thank you for all the amazing feedback through comments or kudos. We’ve got one more after this, but given the schedule I have for the next couple of days, and the fact that one scene still needs to be fully fleshed-out, I expect it to be Tuesday before the last chapter gets posted. </p><p>I think this chapter needs no content warnings. There is some fairy-tale-typical peril—oh wait, there’s one. Skip to the end notes for details, since it’s a tiny bit spoiler-y.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His first thought is to wonder if yesterday was all a dream. Joe comes to on the forest floor just past the edge of the clearing where he knows the spring is. This is a place he's got no reason to come back to, so perhaps he'd only dreamed it, and this is the first time. That makes no sense, though. How would a dream of a place he's never been get the details so right? </p><p>Joe's second thought is to wonder where Nicky is. Did he dream Nicky, too? His hand brushes against the water-skin slung over his shoulder and the strip of red leather he'd tied around the neck of it to help him remember which one held the water from the spring. If that strip is there, then he's been to the spring already. There's no reason for him to be here again, certainly no reason for him to be here alone, and he doesn't remember getting here.</p><p>Someone else—some<em>thing</em> else—brought him here, so where is it now? Joe looks through the trees at the clearing and sees nothing. Suddenly, from behind him, something huge is coming. He gets a glimpse, barely, of fur and moss and antlers as the creature's enormous hand bats him into the clearing.</p><p>He hits the ground hard enough to drive the breath out of him; that's the only reason he doesn't scream when he sees the rest of the creature. Scrambling to his feet, Joe can see that it's an enormous bear, or it used to be. It's somehow bigger than he thought, nearly three times as tall as any bear he’s ever seen. Bending until its face is close to Joe, it roars. Joe stumbles, trying to stay on his feet as the ground seems to shake below him, and he can feel the thing's breath pushing his hair back. He has his hands over his ears, but it still sounds like the thing is screaming into his head.</p><p>When the noise stops and Joe looks up, the real horror of it sets in. For just a moment, it looks to him like the forest might be growing <em>through</em> the creature. When it turns its head to the sky and bellows again, Joe can see it's more that the forest is growing <em>out</em> of it. Branches sprout from its back, its head, even the massive front legs it's using like arms whenever it rears up. Watching it move and pace, the thought that's been pounding on the inside of Joe's mind finally breaks out and slams through him.</p><p>Is this Nicky?</p><p>Joe had joked yesterday about the possibility of him being huge and covered in scales, but that would be so much better than the thing staring at him out of glowing yellow eyes. 'I know what you are,' he'd said, but how could he know this? The rest of that conversation runs through his mind, and he remembers telling Nicky his beast wasn't uncontrollable. Either he was wrong about Nicky being able to control it, or this is Nicky trying to show him the truth of his life in the worst possible way.</p><p>Joe puts his hands out in front of him. "Nicky?"</p><p>The bear roars again, slamming one huge front paw against the ground just in front of Joe, who struggles to keep his feet as the impact rocks him.</p><p>Despite the fact that it could pick him up and snap him in half before Joe could get the breath to scream, it hasn't killed him yet, and now Joe is even more convinced that this thing, this horror of fur and teeth and branches, is his kind, patient, clever lover.</p><p>The bear digs its claws into the ground ripping through the grass and dirt.</p><p>"That's not an answer," Joe says though he's not sure what an answer from this thing would look like.</p><p>The next sound it makes isn't a roar; it's a scream Joe thinks the creature must have pulled up from the depths of its heart. It sounds more than angry. It sounds betrayed and enraged. Its right front paw comes rushing at him, scooping him up in its claws and lifting him off his feet. The memory of Nicky's claw against his throat last night is the only thing that runs through Joe's mind before he's thudding into the ground nearly halfway across the clearing.</p><p>This makes less sense. Nicky might scream at him, might roar to shake the sky and beat his paws against the ground, but he wouldn't hurt Joe. As he's getting to his feet, feeling the ache shooting up his back, he knows there was no guarantee that Joe wouldn't have broken his neck as he hit the ground. Nicky--Joe's Nicky--would never have taken that risk just to make a point.</p><p>That realization does Joe almost no good at all. He's still standing in front of this thing, and he's still not entirely sure whether it's Nicky out of control or something worse that wants to toy with its food before it eats. Either way, he needs to get his sword out. When it lifts its head to roar again, Joe slides his weapon from its scabbard, but there's still just enough uncertainty in him that he doesn't raise it.</p><p>Maybe that last slam into the ground had been worse than Joe thought because even after the creature stops roaring, Joe still hears it.</p><p>No. He doesn't. That's something else, and this day just keeps getting better.</p><p>The bear creature turns toward the sound, and in the quiet, Joe tries one last time.</p><p>"Is that you, Nicky?"</p><p>As if his voice has reminded it of his presence, the monster turns back to Joe and roars again. This time, it's close enough that Joe can make out its teeth, including fangs the size of his forearm.</p><p>And what if this isn't Nicky? If that's true, then once again, this infuriating forest has put something horrible between Joe and the lives and safety of those he loves. It's worse now than it had been with the vine creatures. Fighting them, he'd worried for Quynh, for Andy laying still as death in her arms, and for himself. Now, in addition to those, Joe fears for Nicky. He knows, like he knows his own name, this thing would rip Nicky apart. Like a shadow flitting across his memory, Joe remembers Quynh's words about Andy.</p><p>
  <em>I waited so long to find her. I can't lose her now.</em>
</p><p>He hadn't fully understood the anguish in Quynh's voice until now. 'I waited so long. I waited so long, and we've barely had a chance to start our story,' he thinks. That fear and desperation force their way out of Joe's mouth until he's shouting right back at the creature. It's ineffectual and futile, but he refuses just to sit here and take it silently.</p><p>"I waited so long! You don't get to take him from me! You don't get to take ANY of them from me!"</p><p>The second beast bursting into the clearing takes Joe completely by surprise, and he turns to see it running toward him. One moment Joe's screaming his heart out to the bear, the next he's about to be trampled by—it's not a boar; it's far too large and with too many sets of tusks. Instead, this thing is like a nightmare of a boar.</p><p>At first, Joe thinks this one has the forest growing out of it, too, but it seems to have just caught a branch with its tusk as it barreled through the trees. He doesn't catch all the details, but he can see that it's massive, taller than Joe at the shoulders, and instead of a boar's hooves, it has huge paws with vicious-looking claws. Its head is crowned with long horns that curl up at the ends, and a mane, thick and bushy. "Its mane moves as it runs," he thinks, as though that matters at all.</p><p>The boar nightmare runs straight at him, its roar is deeper than the bear's, but there's a high, thready note trailing after it like a shriek, or the long-forgotten memory of a boar much smaller than this, screaming its own rage. If the bear is Nicky, then what the fuck is this? Then again, what if *this* is Nicky. Joe is raking his gaze over it, looking for anything that seems at all familiar. Just as it gets close enough for Joe to make out its face, the boar comes to a stop right in front of him, tearing up the dirt under its claws as it does. Its claws are huge, easily the size of Joe's--fuck.</p><p>In Joe's head, a memory of Nicky says, '<em>claws the size of your hand and tusks the length of your arm</em>.'</p><p>Before Joe can get a good look at its face, it whips its head around to look at the bear and roars, desperate and furious. Like thunder, the bear roars back at it, but the boar doesn't move. He's not sure, not really, not just yet, but Joe thinks he might know that stubborn stance anywhere.</p><p>The bear crosses from one side of the clearing to the other and back again, taking their measure, but neither Joe nor this new creature move. As it comes lurching toward them, the bear's front paws slam into the ground, and it roars again like a creature made of rage. One massive paw shoots forward, grabbing for the beast that seems to be acting as Joe's protector. He can hear it snort just before it runs toward the bear, dodging its other front leg and racing down the length of its body. He can't see much besides a tangle of brown and gray fur before the bear grabs its attacker and sends it into the air.</p><p>The boar thing lands on its side, its head facing Joe and one tusk digging into the dirt. As Joe turns to look at it, the creature gets its feet under it and stands. The massive shudder that runs along its body, raising the mane along its back, reminds Joe of trying to clear his own head after hitting the ground only moments before.</p><p>Joe shouts to get the thing's attention, and with a snort and a puff of breath, it lowers its head the slightest bit. It's barely a movement, but it's enough that instead of looking at its mouth as he had been before, Joe is now looking into its eyes. They're still in the middle of a fight for their lives against a horrific and terrifying monster, but Joe can't help the instant relief washing over him. Those eyes are exactly the same color they'd been just before he leaned in to kiss Joe the first time. </p><p>
  <em>Nicky.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>For just a second, before he opens his eyes or feels where he's been struck, Nicky remembers falling asleep with Joe wrapped around him the night before, and has a moment of pure, unencumbered happiness. He's not thinking about quests or beasts or queens or terrible choices he might have to make soon. The only thoughts in his head are that he can smell a trace of Joe on his shirt, that he loves that smell, but he loves Joe's smile more, and he loves—</p><p>He sits bolt upright, looking around.</p><p>It's not unheard of for Nicky to wake up in the morning on the forest floor. Most times, he's shifted when he does. In that form, it's easier to keep warm at night, and he doesn't end up with a stiff neck. Still, from time to time, especially if he and Booker are up talking, he'll just pull his cloak around himself and not bother to shift or get home to his little house.</p><p>What <em>is</em> unusual is for him to wake up with his cloak under him but not around him. What's turning Nicky's knees to water is waking up alone, with a pounding headache, with Joe nowhere in sight.</p><p>The throbbing pain is centered on the back of his head like he'd fallen and struck it on something. Or. Like something had struck him and knocked him out.</p><p>He's on his feet before he can blink, scanning the trees for any sign of movement. Nothing. He can hear himself, but he can't hear anything else. Not even the typical background nothing of the forest. No birds, no breeze, no insects. It's as if he's alone here. As if everything else has fled.</p><p>Even shifted, the birds and insects don't flee from Nicky, so whatever was here wasn't just terrifying; it was unfamiliar. Whipping his head around, Nicky looks back in the direction they'd come from and sees, at the height of his shoulders, broken branches. He snatches his bag from the ground beside him and takes off through the trees at a run.</p><p>Whatever has Joe is enormous, big enough that it can't hide its path. There are broken branches, crushed leaves, and where the ground is wet enough, there are paw prints half as wide across as Nicky is tall. The claws have left deep furrows where they've punctured the ground. Trying to prepare himself, Nicky looks up to see the height of the tallest broken branch. It's almost three times his height, twice as tall as his beast form. He doesn't know of anything that size living in the forest, and no dumb animal would have carefully eliminated Nicky as a threat before taking Joe. Whatever this thing is, it's the forest's doing.</p><p>There's no need to track this thing; Nicky can see that now. The forest controls it, and it has Joe. There's only one place it could be going.</p><p>Nicky tears through the trees, heading for the spring.</p><p>It should take hours to reach the clearing, even at a run, but Nicky has only been racing toward it for a few minutes when he sees a change in the light far ahead as if in that one spot there's no tree cover. The spring. Already? The forest isn't finished toying with them, it seems.</p><p>He's still too far away to see anything but a hint of the clearing when he first hears the sound. It's an angry, high growl that pierces straight into his head and leaves his ears ringing. Seconds later, it shouts again, a roar this time, a sound like trees being torn in half. Joe is brave, and he has his sword, but he's no match for something large enough to make that noise.</p><p>A great boom rushes past him, and Nicky can see the trees shudder in its wake. He's still running, still doing everything he can to get there in time. There's a decision to be made. He can arrive like he is, and try talking to whatever is there, can try to explain things, tell it why he helped Joe in the first place. Or he can shift. He can go in there with every ounce of his strength and try to get it away from Joe. The sooner he shifts, the faster he can get there.</p><p>One second there's a man running through the trees; the next, there's a four-legged beast leaving behind a satchel bag and a trail of ruined clothing.</p><p>The forest's beast, whatever it is, bellows again, and Nicky thinks, "I can play that game, too." He doesn't often use his voice in this form. It's been so long without someone who could make sense of the sounds; there'd never been any point. If he wanted to communicate, he'd either find another way or he'd shift again. Not now. Now he knows that no human noise could get through to the thing he can hear screaming through the trees.</p><p>Putting every bit of his fear and anger and frustration into his beast voice, Nicky screams. It's half-shriek and half-roar. He screams like someone who has watched his people disappear, like someone who has seen too much death and not enough joy.</p><p>His paws eat up the ground beneath him as he runs. He's so much faster like this, slowed only by having to dodge around trees that his narrower human form would slip right through. A little closer, and now he can hear Joe shouting. The panic comes out of Nicky like a howl and the screech of sword against stone. This is good, though. It's good. If he can hear Joe, that means Joe is still alive.</p><p>Nicky can see the edge of the clearing. He's so close. 'Stay alive for just another minute, and I'll be there,' Nicky thinks. Bursting through the trees, Nicky can feel one of his lower tusks snag on a branch. He hears a snap that might be the tree or might be his tusk, but there's no time to think about it. Nicky doesn't stop running.</p><p>He sees Joe before anything else. Joe, standing so determined with his sword in his hand but not raised. 'Why aren't you defending yourself?' Roaring again, Nicky runs straight for him. Joe looks terrified to be facing two beasts at once, and Nicky wishes there were. time to explain or reassure him. Nicky's claws dig into the ground as he skids to a halt between Joe and the other beast. Wheeling around to face the thing across the clearing, Nicky knows that if he weren't protecting Joe, his scream would have died in his throat.</p><p>This beast, this <em>horror</em> is like nothing Nicky's ever seen, nothing he's even heard of. In villagers' worst imaginings of Nicky's beast, he never even came close to looking like this. The sheer size is overwhelming. It's more than twice as tall as Nicky in this form, maybe three times as high. It's hard to tell because Nicky's not sure where the beast ends, and the— are they antlers? Branches? Both? The massive bear head stares down at Nicky, eyes like green flame, and it roars. Nicky can feel his ruff get blown back, but he stands his ground.</p><p>Those things growing from its head <em>are</em> branches; the ones at the sides and back have curled up into a rough crown. They’re somehow <em>also</em> antlers, huge and broad. More of them are growing from its shoulders, its front legs, and the back of its neck. They’re enormous; the ones at the points of his shoulders are as tall as Joe. It paces from one side of the clearing to the other, regarding Nicky like it’s trying to decide just how to kill him.</p><p>Nicky can feel a shudder run through him as the creature turns; there are more of those antler branches growing in a line down its back, a huge bristling spine made of jagged edges of the forest itself. Beneath them, the shape is more or less bear-like, but everything else is a terrifying manifestation of the forest. Huge clumps of lichen are clinging to the fur of its hind legs, and when it crashes down to all fours to roar at Nicky, he can see moss clustered at the base of each claw. </p><p>It reaches out to take a swipe at him, and Nicky takes the opportunity to get inside its reach and under its body. He can feel his horns get purchase in the thing’s fur, and he hopes they’ve gone deep enough to reach the skin. Tossing his head, Nicky twists to the side, trying to get his lower tusks into the thing’s hind leg. He wants, desperately, to get at its belly, but the thing is just too tall, and his tusks too low. His horns might reach, but he can’t put any real power behind a blow from that angle. </p><p>Howling, the thing reaches back, hooking Nicky with two massive claws, and flinging him to the ground just out of its reach. He can feel his right hindquarters slam into the ground and his right cheek immediately after. His back is to the bear, and Nicky knows that’s a dangerous position to be in. On his feet again, Nicky shakes himself from head to tail, feeling his mane bristling. </p><p>“Hey!” Joe calls to him, and Nicky’s tail twitches as he meets Joe’s eyes.</p><p>For a split second, Nicky is looking only at Joe, and Joe is looking back. Nicky searches those eyes for revulsion or fear, but instead, he sees only a quick sweep of relief before it’s replaced with a fierce determination.</p><p>“<em>There</em> you are,” Joe says.</p><p>There’s another roaring howl from the bear, and Nicky realizes that split second looking at Joe was a split second too long. The bear lurches toward them as Joe raises his sword and moves into a defensive stance. The movement distracts the bear just long enough for Nicky to start running, staying just out of reach and aiming for its hind leg. He won’t be able to bring the bear down, but if he gets the right angle, he can take out the leg.</p><p>Seeing the thing threatening Joe, Nicky has to remind himself that he needs not to kill it. That thing has to stay alive for him to have any hope at all.</p><p>He can feel his hind legs churning at the ground as he powers toward the bear. Just as he lowers his head to strike, the bear’s leg shoots out and kicks Nicky across the clearing. He hits the ground and hears something snap. He’s cracked at least one rib, and something in his left front leg isn’t sitting right. If he’s alive later, he’ll worry about it then. If not, well, a couple of ribs won’t matter, will they?</p><p>Getting to his feet, though, not as quickly this time, Nicky watches the bear rear up onto its hind legs, its front claws curling nearly into fists as it roars. It’s almost as tall as the trees around the clearing, and it’s reaching for Joe. Nicky starts running, but the bear’s got Joe in one massive paw before Nicky’s anywhere close.</p><p>Terrified, Nicky screams at it, and as it turns to roar back, Nicky can see the very tip of Joe’s sword come out the back side of the bear’s paw. He watches the sun glint on the blade as it twists and angles upward. The bear howls and opens its claws, and then Joe is falling. </p><p>Nicky’s already imagining the sickening crunch of Joe’s body hitting the ground when he sees the strap of the water-skins Joe has slung across his body catch on one of the antlers growing from the bear’s hindquarters. Joe is struggling to release them when the bear lashes out with that leg, and the straps snap, sending Joe and the water-skins slamming to the ground. At the impact, Joe’s sword goes flying. </p><p>‘Get up, please get up,’ Nicky thinks, but Joe doesn’t get up. He doesn’t move at all. </p><p>For a second, Nicky’s vision goes white with rage, and somehow he’s running faster. The bear’s front paws hit the ground just as Nicky reaches it. He tears at the bear’s skin and muscle with both sets of tusks. Twisting away from the bear, Nicky dodges a swing from the other front paw. Enraged, the bear bends and roars right in his face. As Nicky stumbles back, he sees the most beautiful sight in the world. Joe, on his feet, running for the bear. Joe can get under it, taking advantage of how far down it’s leaning to stab it under the jaw.</p><p>It lurches back, a mountain of fury and teeth, putting its right hind leg down directly on top of one of the water-skins and shredding the leather with its claws. Nicky watches it happen, and he watches Joe, frantic, scramble for the second one, the one with the strip of red leather around it. </p><p>Neither of them has anything else that will hold water, and Nicky’s house is at least a day’s walk from the spring. If the bear lands on that second skin, the last four days will have been for nothing. Willing Joe to move faster isn’t doing any good, but Nicky can keep the bear’s attention and hope that gives Joe the time he needs. </p><p>Charging forward, head down, Nicky aims for the tendon going up the back of the bear’s front leg. He’s almost there, can feel the heat of the bear’s skin, when the bear brings its other paw down on him. </p><p>Fire. Searing, burning, shrieking pain is all he feels as the bear’s claw pierces Nicky’s shoulder, drives through, and pins him to the ground. Every move Nicky makes to get away only makes it worse, and short of tearing himself free, Nicky can think of nothing else to do but scream.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, Nicky thinks he sees movement, but he can’t be sure. Right now, his world is pain and anger, and fear. Joe is still back there, Nicky is sure of it, dancing around its hind legs trying to save the thing he came here for, the thing that will heal his queen and protect his family, and Nicky can’t do anything to help. The bear twists its paw, and Nicky screams again. This is good; the more the bear toys with him, the less it’s concerned with Joe. ‘Take the water and run. Go. Get to your queen. You have to heal her. Fuck, I never told him. I should have said it. I should have said everything.’</p><p>There’s a flash of movement, and Nicky sees Joe launch himself from one of the antlers growing from the bear’s arms to one at his shoulder, before finally landing among the crown of antler-branches atop its head. Something catches the light, and Nicky realizes it’s a cluster of gems on the handle of Joe’s mother’s dagger. Holding on with one hand and stabbing down with the other, Joe drives the dagger into the bear’s muzzle right next to his nose. The bear shakes its head, and Joe slides to the ground, rolling to his feet.</p><p>Furious, the bear pulls its claw free from Nicky and rears up. If it slams down again, Joe won’t be able to move away fast enough. He’ll feel that same piercing fire Nicky did, and he won’t survive. No. Nicky can’t let that happen.</p><p>The shift shudders along his body, and suddenly he’s on the ground, on his side, and the grass is cool against his skin. Nicky scrambles to his feet and holds both arms up palms out in surrender. The pain from the wound in his shoulder shoots down his body.</p><p>"WAIT!" The bear jerks to a halt. "Wait! I know you think I betrayed you." The bear drops to all fours and lowers its head. "That I let a stranger wander in here to take what didn't belong to him, the thing that keeps us all safe and alive. For hundreds of years, my family, we've been your guardians. We've kept you and the creatures in this forest safe from men who would hurt us or take from us. I swore that only those with a right to the power of this spring would get it, and I have never betrayed that!"</p><p>The bear starts to growl; Nicky can see its lip curling up into its muzzle and those huge fangs showing. </p><p>"I'll prove it to you," Nicky calls to the bear, then as calmly as he possibly can, he says, "Joe, please give me the ring."</p><p>"The—what?"</p><p>"The ring. The one your queen gave you. I need you to take it off your neck and give it to me, and I need you to trust me."</p><p>Without taking his eyes from the bear, Nicky holds one hand out toward Joe, palm up. "Of course I trust you," Joe says, and Nicky can feel the metal of the chain, warm from Joe's skin, coiling into his hand.</p><p>Lacing the chain through his fingers, Nicky holds it up as high as he can. He can feel the blood from his shoulder running down his back, but he's got the thing's attention. His wounds can wait.</p><p>"Come see it. See how I wouldn't ever dishonor my promise." The bear's massive head looms even closer, and Nicky tries not to notice that its single glowing yellow eye is nearly as big as his head. He can see the moment the bear notices what’s on the ring.</p><p>Nicky slips his middle finger into it, with the symbol is facing up, keeping it outstretched so the bear can see it. "You recognize it; I know you do. Every single shifter in the forest wears this symbol. I have one just like it, you've seen it. The woman this belongs to is dying, and being healed by those waters is her birthright. As your guardian and her protector, I would never break my promise."</p><p>Snorting, the bear backs up two steps. </p><p>"I have to take him. I have to see her." Nicky swallows. "Please." His shoulder feels like it's on fire, but he holds his position. Right now, he needs to focus on getting them out of here alive. </p><p>Bringing his face as close to Nicky's as he can, the bear huffs once, then turns its back and walks to the other side of the clearing where it crouches low, nose nearly between its paws, and watches them.</p><p>"Go," Nicky says. "Go now. To the tree line. I'm right behind you."</p><p>When they're out of the clearing, Joe turns to stare at him. Nicky reaches out and takes his hand. He lets the chain and the ring fall from his fingers into Joe's upturned palm.</p><p>Joe is still staring at him. "Nicky," he whispers.</p><p>"Every secret that was mine to tell, Joe."</p><p>Surging forward, Joe grabs Nicky by the head, one palm against either cheek and pulls him in, kissing him breathless. "You—"He struggles, looking for the right word. Not finding it, he darts back in for another kiss. Nicky can feel the chain still in Joe's hand pressing into his jaw. The pain in his shoulder is a bright throb in the corner of his mind, but Nicky pushes it back as much as he can and focuses on the sweet press of Joe's mouth.</p><p>He must have felt a wince, though, because Joe draws back, looking him over. "Shit, Nicky, your shoulder! What do we—"</p><p>"Forget my shoulder, where's the water-skin?"</p><p>Joe blinks. "I think it's still in the clearing, and no, we do not forget your shoulder! I heard your ribs, too, when it kicked you."</p><p>"Joe, listen to me, my injuries will wait for a minute; this is more important. I looked on the way out, and the only things on the ground were shredded pieces of leather. If it was still out there—" </p><p>"Nicky—"</p><p>"I'm—You came to save me instead of grabbing it. I'm so sorry, Joe. We don't have anything else we can use right now. Mine fell when I shifted. I don't even know where it is or whether it's in one piece. I have another at the house. It's outside the edge of the forest, though and—"</p><p>"Nicky!" Joe puts a hand up over Nicky's mouth. "I didn't save you instead of grabbing it; I just saved you. Wasn't even a choice. It's going to be a wasted effort, though, if you bleed to death on the way to your house. My satchel is on the ground out there, too, but I might be able to make a bandage out of—"</p><p>Reaching up with his good arm, Nicky curls his fingers around the hand Joe is using to silence him. He tugs it away from his mouth just enough to kiss the palm." Joe, stop."</p><p>"—one of the pieces from my—"</p><p>"Listen to me! The spring can help. It won't be immediate, but it will speed the healing."</p><p>Joe looks over Nicky's shoulder. "The bear thing is still out there."</p><p>"I think we'll be okay. Come on. I'll do this, and we can come back once we've gotten another skin from my house. Maybe it'll be faster getting back without the forest stopping us."</p><p>"Let's go." </p><p>As they cross the clearing, the bear is still watching them. Are its eyes not as bright as they'd been before? The way it's crouching, does it seem less prepared to pounce than it had been before? Nicky decides not to test it. He nods once and keeps walking. </p><p>At the spring itself, Nicky takes the steps with the ease of someone who's been doing this his entire life. On the last step, he can feel the water licking at his toes, and just being close to it feels so good. Crouching, Nicky scoops it up with his hands and drinks his fill. He always feels like it should taste better than it does. It's magical water, oughtn't it has a hint of sweetness, maybe? Instead, it tastes a little of moss with a hint of old coins. </p><p>When he's finished drinking, Nicky slings some of the water over his shoulder and feels it roll down his back. He has no idea if pouring it over himself will help him heal the same way drinking it does; it's just nice to feel the water on his skin. </p><p>Time to go.</p><p>Sighing, he braces his hands on his knees and stands, feeling something pop and shift back into place in his leg. There's still a sharp pain when he breathes too deeply, but that should fade in an hour or two. The shoulder will take longer, but it's no longer a serious danger. The bleeding will stop in a few minutes, and by tonight the wound will a patch of pink scar tissues, and the muscles will knit back together. He just has to grit his teeth and get that far.</p><p>Ascending the steps, he sees Joe, crouching at the other side of the spring, looking at one of the stones.</p><p>"I missed this yesterday," he says. With one finger, Joe traces the outline of the image in the stone. It's the same symbol as the one worked into the metal of the ring. </p><p>"It's our symbol for the forest. We would know it anywhere. Those of us who can shift to human have something with that symbol that we use to remind ourselves who we are and to recognize each other if we're away."</p><p>"The sigil of her family," Joe mutters.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Nothing, I'll tell you later." He stands and asks, "Where's yours?"</p><p>Nicky frowns. "In my bag, probably. I think it's somewhere along the path. My sense of smell is much better when I'm shifted, so I can track the bag if I have to. I'll worry about that later. We have to get out of the forest first and get you home."</p><p>As they pass it, Nicky stares at the spot where Joe hit the ground the last time and sees him there again, still as death. He wonders how long he'll see that whenever he closes his eyes. Shaking his head to get rid of the image, Nicky sees a spot of red in the notch between two tree roots. He doesn't even realize he's squeezing Joe's hand until Joe squeezes back.</p><p>"Nicky?"</p><p>"There," Nicky says, jerking his chin toward the tree.</p><p>Joe's eyes go wide. "Is it—"</p><p>"I think so." </p><p>Frantic with hope, Joe dashes the short distance to the tree, and Nicky hears him cry out as he holds up the water-skin. They both turn, panicked, to look at the bear. Its lips are curled up just a little, wrinkling its muzzle, but it isn't growling, isn't coming for them. Tentatively, Joe crosses back to Nicky. The second he's close enough, Joe grabs Nicky's cheeks and pulls him close for a kiss, being as careful of Nicky's shoulder as he can. It's a little too forceful; Nicky can feel his lower lip sting as it presses against his bottom teeth, and his shoulder throbs, but Joe is kissing him, and nothing else matters.</p><p>"You impossibly wonderful man," Joe says and kisses him again, softer this time like he wants Nicky to know how precious he is. "I want to kiss you for days."</p><p>Nicky can feel the bear's eyes follow them the rest of the way across the clearing. Finding the path, he leads Joe through the trees. He casts one last glance over his shoulder to see the bear, still crouched, still watching them. It shifts slightly, and the antler-branches growing from its shoulders clack against the ones growing in a spine down his back. Nicky shudders and turns back to the path.</p><p>"First," Joe says as he reaches into his bag and pulls out his cloak. "Here." </p><p>Right. Nicky's clothes are somewhere in the forest, probably in tatters.</p><p>"I don't want dirt or leaves getting into that wound before it has a chance to heal more."</p><p>Nicky figures he must still be riding the rush from the fight because there's no other reason he'd think now is a good time to flirt. </p><p>"You don't like the view?"</p><p>Joe grins at him. "I would hate for an ass that perfect to get all scratched up."</p><p>"Unless you're the one doing it." Joe's eyes blaze hot, and Nicky regrets starting this when there's no time to finish it. </p><p>"I see that look, and I'll hold you to it much, much later." </p><p><br/>
More gingerly than he'd like, Nicky picks his way over the worst of the rocks and twigs on the forest floor. When he was a child, he went barefoot everywhere, but it's been years and years since then, so he's moving slower than he'd like. They haven't been walking long when a tree to his left catches Nicky's eye. that the path doesn't look right. It's familiar, yes, but not in the way he expected. This looks like the stretch of forest just a couple of hours from his house.</p><p>Confused, he turns back to look up the path and sees nothing but more path and more trees. The clearing is gone, and the bear with it, like they'd never been there at all. He remembers the run here from the campsite, how quickly he arrived at the clearing and thinks that—as much as it can—what he sees now makes a strange kind of sense. </p><p>"Why didn't you change before we started walking?"</p><p>For the smallest moment, Nicky thinks Joe is asking why he didn't bring a spare set of clothing, or at least an extra pair of boots. He's not, though.</p><p>Nicky frowns. "Joe, tolerating my beast when it's saving your life in a fight is one thing; walking beside it for hours is quite another."</p><p>"Do you look like a baby bunny when you're shifted? No, and if I said you were cute, you'd know I was lying. I could tell you that he's proud and brave and noble, and maybe you'd be able to see that I was telling the truth, but the real reason I'd be happy to see him now, Nicky, is that he's still *you.* And you are more important to me than you will ever know, *all* of you."</p><p>Joe slips his hand into Nicky's and squeezes.  Joe, who saw Nicky's beast and barely blinked, who heard Nicky's deepest secret and didn't run.  </p><p>Nicky remembers his face in the firelight last night.</p><p>
  <em>If you're going to trust me, then fucking trust me.</em>
</p><p>"Ask me again."</p><p>Joe blinks, then understanding dawns. "Please come back with me? Even if it's just to see her like you told the bear."</p><p>There will still be things to work out, with the forest and with Booker, for starters, but for today, for this moment, things can be just this simple.</p><p>"She's under my protection, and you're my heart. Where else would I go?"</p><p>He’ll never get tired of Joe’s sunbeam smile. "Then give me back my cloak, shift, and let's move. The forest has wasted enough of our time, and the rest of our family is waiting for this water." Joe holds out his hand, casually, like he hadn't just given voice to the secret wish of Nicky's heart.</p><p>As Joe is stuffing the cloak back in his bag, Nicky gives way to his beast. When the shift is complete, Joe looks up at him. "Your eyes are the same; did you know that?" Nicky huffs out a breath. He hadn't, but they don't have time for—</p><p>"Now isn't the time, but someday soon, you're going to sit still and let me talk to you about your beast."</p><p>Nicky snorts again and starts down the path ahead of Joe. The sheer bulk of him clears branches that they'd otherwise have had to move or duck under, and he's so much faster on four feet with thick paw pads than two bare human feet, even with the wound in his shoulder still barely healing. Joe jogs behind him, trying to keep up the pace. Not five minutes later, Nicky smells the familiar mix of warm leather and his human skin and knows his satchel and clothes are nearby. </p><p>He slows and leads them off the path, rooting at the ground. Joe sidesteps him and starts his own search. </p><p>"Got it! Your clothes and boots, though." He's looking at the ground, poking something with his foot, then he's looking up at Nicky. "You're going to need new clothes and boots." He slings Nicky's bag across his chest. "What are we waiting for? Go!"</p><p>Nicky shakes his mane and takes off into the trees. </p><p><br/>
He never gets too far ahead of Joe, never so far that he can't still hear Joe, smell him, but Nicky knows he can make up some time if he gets to the house ahead of Joe. Finally, finally, the edge of the forest is visible in the distance. The light is brighter, and Nicky can see the trees start to thin. At the last second, he decides to wait. The idea of leaving the forest while Joe is still in it, even this close to the edge, seems like tempting fate. </p><p>Jogging up beside him, Joe stops and braces one hand on Nicky's flank as he catches his breath. "Oh!" he says, startled, but Nicky doesn't stop to find out why. </p><p>Together, they walk out of the trees and into the clearing where Nicky's little stone house sits alone. He scans the area as well as he can, looking for anyone who shouldn't be here, shouldn't be watching what comes next, but they're alone.</p><p>The shift always feels strange, but this time, with Joe watching him so intently, it feels even stranger. He's still winded from the run, so the instant he's human again, Nicky braces his hands above his knees and gives himself a few seconds to catch his breath. His shoulder has stopped bleeding, and the pain is </p><p>Pushing his door open, Nicky looks at Joe. "You should wait here."</p><p>He's pulling on his second boot when Joe walks in and leans against the doorway of Nicky's bedroom. He's all insouciance until he sees the shelves and looks to Nicky, eyes wide.</p><p>"Booker. He thought it would be funny for you to dream this room."</p><p>"Just the room?" Joe asks as Nicky finishes lacing his boot and starts digging in his bag, looking for his ring.</p><p>"Just the room. Anything else is entirely on you."</p><p>He slips the ring onto his finger and grabs Joe's hand, pulling him from the room. "We can discuss details and how best to get back at the weasel later; we have places to be."</p><p>Booker must have stayed here last night and saddled them this morning, because the horses— sometimes Nicky loves that furry little shit so much—are fully tacked and waiting in the stalls against the house's back side. </p><p>Joe takes Crickets reins in his hand, but before mounting, he looks to Nicky with wide, terrified eyes. "What if we're already too late?"</p><p>"Then your sister will need you more now than ever, but we won't know if we stand here all day." Even racing against time like this, still pushing to get to the palace, Nicky feels lighter and more hopeful than he has in many, many years.</p><p>Joe takes a deep breath and swings himself up into the saddle.</p><p><br/>
They keep the horses just under a gallop, but even then, they can't push too long. After an hour, they find a small creek and let the horses rest for a few minutes. Over the last few days, Joe's promise to his queen had been driving his pace, but more often than not, struggling to survive, to outthink the forest, and sheer exhaustion were taking all his immediate attention. Now that they're getting closer, Nicky can see the nervous energy in every movement Joe makes. </p><p>His fingers are drumming against the side of his leg, and he keeps scanning the horizon like he expects the palace to suddenly appear even when they're not moving. He's worrying the inside of his lip between his teeth, and there's been an almost constant furrow between his brows since they left Nicky's house.</p><p>"You're thinking too hard. All the choices are already made, we just have to get there, and if we push the horses too hard, we'll be walking the last bit."</p><p>"I know. I know." Joe doesn't look at Nicky, fiddling instead with one of the buckles on his saddle. "If we're not—If she's still alive.” He takes a breath. “I’m glad you’ll be there with me."</p><p>"Joe—"</p><p>"Later. Right now, we need to go."</p><p>They probably should stop after the next hour as well, but the palace is in view in the distance, and Nicky thinks that even that bear creature couldn't get Joe out of his saddle right now. As they draw closer and closer to the gate, Nicky finds himself inexplicably nervous. He's hardly a shy suitor, but the knowledge that he's about to meet the woman Joe considers a sister is piling on top of the fear that their cure may be too late.</p><p><br/>
When they hit the streets around the palace, they slow down, but not by much. Joe somehow misses hitting anyone while also not taking his eyes from where he knows the next turn will be. The instant they're close enough to be heard, Joe shouts to the guards to open the portcullis. At the speed the horses are keeping, the guards barely get the massive grate raised enough for them to ride under without losing their heads. </p><p>Joe and Cricket go tearing through the outer courtyard, Nicky and his bay hot on their heels, and the next thing Nicky knows, Joe is pulling Cricket to a stop in what must be the inner courtyard. Before they're off the horses, there's a flurry of movement from their right. It's a woman, gown billowing around her, running out of the palace.</p><p>"Yusuf!" </p><p>She's tall and slender. 'Like a whip,' Nicky thinks. Her dark hair is blowing back from her face as she runs, and Nicky watches the exact moment she remembers who she is and where they're standing. She comes to an abrupt stop and straightens her posture. "You're back!" she says, and her voice is still just as exuberant, as though those in earshot can be trusted with the secret of her real emotions. "Did you—"</p><p>"I have it, are we—"</p><p>"No! She's still—"</p><p>"Why are we still standing here, then?"</p><p>She almost, almost turns to go, but she finally catches sight of Nicky. </p><p>"Yusuf?" she asks, never taking her eyes from Nicky's face.</p><p>"I’ll tell you everything, I promise. For now, Quynh, this is Nicky, and Nicky, this is Her Majesty—" It seems such an odd time for titles, and Joe must think so, too. "This is Quynh, my sister."</p><p>"Do you—" she starts, but Joe cuts her off.</p><p>"With my life—at least three times already—and with Andy's, too. Please, can we go now?"</p><p>She looks at Nicky through the most piercing brown eyes he's ever seen, mistrust writ large on her face.</p><p>Nicky doesn't look away. He understands being a protector, being fierce when others can't. Reaching up, he hitches the strap of his bag higher on his shoulder and hopes it doesn't look like nervous fidgeting. Her gaze travels his face, and whatever she sees there must be enough. Her face transforms so wholly when she smiles, it's almost as if she were a different woman. "Yes," she says. "We can go. Come with me. Both of you."</p><p>Nicky does his best to keep up with them as they twist through halls and around corners they've known their entire lives. </p><p>"I did everything I could to get back to you faster, but it seemed like around every corner was a new thing to contend with. I never meant for it to take so many days; I'm sorry, Quynh."</p><p>She spares him a quick glance as they walk, "How long do you think you were gone?"</p><p>"Almost six days?"</p><p>The shake of her head moves down her hair in waves. "It's been almost three. When the guards said you'd arrived, I was surprised you were back so soon."</p><p>Joe turns back to look at Nicky, a question in his eyes.</p><p>"Are you still surprised by the forest distorting things around you?"</p><p>"I suppose not, no."</p><p>Ahead of them, a footman opens the door to the Queens' chambers. Nicky expects them to stop in the first room they enter, a sitting room that somehow manages to feel cozy despite its size. Instead, Quynh walks straight through it and out a door on the other side, Joe right behind her. The next room seems to be a private office space, and Quynh finally stops next to one of two ornate desks. </p><p>She looks at Joe again, then to Nicky.</p><p>"My wife is very ill. Ordinarily, she would never allow someone to see her like this."</p><p>"Quynh, regardless of how long it felt to you, I have spent the last five days facing everything the forest could throw at us, with Nicky by my side. The sight of Andy unconscious won't shock us," Joe says. </p><p>She searches Joe's face. "We'll see." She pulls an ornate key from a loop on her belt and unlocks the door on the far side of the room. Quynh is the first through the door, with Joe behind her. Nicky wonders if he should give them a moment, but this isn't only about them.</p><p>The bedroom is huge, easily the size of the other two rooms put together, and then some. Quynh is standing at the foot of a large bed dominated by four ornately-carved carved posts at the corners. She's looking defiantly at Joe, daring him to say anything. There's no danger of that; the only sound Joe makes is a choked-off gasp of surprise, and his face is a mask of wonder.  </p><p>Nicky follows Joe’s gaze, and there on a pile of rushes in the corner of the room, still but for the shallow rise of her ribs as she breathes, is a slightly smaller version of his beast. She's lighter in color than he is, with shorter tusks, and, other than Joe's smile, she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.</p><p>He looks to Quynh, who is staring back at him, and her eyes are so soft. "When I could see she wouldn't be able to fight the shift anymore, I moved her to the floor and tried to make her as comfortable as I could." </p><p>Nicky has a thousand questions, but when he opens his mouth, none of them come out. She seems to know the most important one, anyway, because she nods toward the beast that is her wife, giving Nicky all the permission he needs.</p><p>The layer of rushes spread under her is thick enough to cushion Nicky's knees when he sinks to the floor at Andy’s side. He slides one hand up under the back of her mane and sinks his fingers into her fur, scratching her just the way he usually likes. "I'm sorry," he whispers to her. "I'm so sorry you were alone; I didn't know. I should've been here to tell you." He runs his other hand down her leg and over her paw. Bending, Nicky rests his forehead against the massive curve of muscle at her shoulder. "I'm supposed to be your protector. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."</p><p>Quynh sits next to Nicky but makes no move to touch him, just making herself a quiet, solid presence at his side. Lifting his head, Nicky can see her looking up at Joe. "Do you—"</p><p>"Yes. Yes, it's right here." He hands her the water-skin and turns his gaze on Nicky.</p><p>"Every secret that was yours to tell," Joe says.</p><p>Nicky nods. He knows he's crying; he's just not sure for how long. Joe drops to a crouch at his side and palms Nicky's head, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to his temple. </p><p>Together, they help Quynh lift Andy's head, and when Quynh tries to open her jaw, Nicky says, "Wait. Here." He tugs at the corner of her mouth, pulling the lip behind her first set of tusks away from her teeth. "If you pour it here, it will go through the back teeth and down her throat. You won't have to bother with opening her mouth, and she's more likely to swallow it."   </p><p>As Quynh pours, Nicky runs his hand through the stiff, bristly hairs under Andy's chin, encouraging her to swallow the water. </p><p>When the water-skin is empty, Joe looks, for the first time since they'd met, rudderless. There's nothing to do now but wait. </p><p>Quynh looks at him, eyes so kind, and says, "If you want to sit with her, I think she would like to know that you'd been here with us."</p><p>Nicky nods, his throat too choked for words. Rising to her feet, Quynh tugs Joe up as well. "We'll be back in a moment.” When he's alone, Nicky looks at the furniture. There's plenty of room in that corner, but he moves a chair down the wall a bit more anyway. He tugs off his boots, then his clothes, and shifts. </p><p>The instant his beast form is complete, the smell of her slams into him, stinging his nose with the sharp notes of sickness and fear. She'd been so confused, probably worried about Quynh trying to live without her. Nicky vows to answer every question she has, no matter how small. It’s so quiet; the only sounds are the clack of his claws on the stone floor and the shuffling of the rushes as he lowers himself down beside her. He gets his nose under her chin does the only other thing he can do. </p><p>He waits.</p><p>The click of the door opening means Quynh and Joe are back. Nicky can't see them, but he can hear a choking sob from Quynh and Joe's low murmur comforting her. There's a sound Nicky thinks might be the bench at the end of the bed, creaking under the weight of someone sitting, and a slow, regular scrape, so soft it's hard to hear, that he thinks is probably Joe rubbing his hand up and down his Quynh's back.</p><p>They're trying to be quiet, but Nicky's hearing is better like this. He flicks an ear, listening.</p><p>"You knew about him?" Joe asks.</p><p>"I guessed," Quynh says. There's a pause, and Nicky can almost picture Joe waving his hand to encourage her."  He's wearing a ring just like hers; I saw it when he shifted his bag strap in the courtyard."</p><p>"The sigil of her family," Joe mutters.</p><p>"There's something about their eyes, too." She sighs. "I didn't know if he'd told you, but from the way he looked at you whenever you spoke, I suspected he had."</p><p>"Looked at me?"</p><p>Like you're a part of him. Either he'd already told you, perhaps even shown you, and you would be surprised but not frightened by Andy, or."</p><p>"Or?"</p><p>"Or he hadn't told you, and he deserved to know how you would treat him if he did." They're quiet for a minute, then Quynh asks, "Are there others?"</p><p>"No. The rest isn't mine to tell, but I'm very glad he's not alone anymore."</p><p>"Into the forest to retrieve some water, out of the forest with the water, the beast, and the beautiful man. You owe me a story, Yusuf. Probably several."</p><p>"Perhaps I can trade one for the story of how you've been married to a beast for almost thirteen years, and I, your best friend, never knew."</p><p>"Perhaps," she says, and Nicky imagines he can hear a smile in her voice, a little one, at least.</p><p>Eventually, Quynh moves from the bench to the floor beside Andy, resting her cheek against Andy’s fur. Joe curls up on the bench, Nicky can almost picture him there. Not long after that, Joe and Quynh fall asleep, but Nicky stays awake, keeping watch, listening for any change in Andy's breathing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Content warning: There are multiple creatures described in this, one of which has some mild body horror, in that it—as an avatar of the forest—has branches and branch-like things growing from it. It’s not even vaguely human, but if you’d like to skip that, then skip the entire first bit of the chapter and start reading at “Nicky’s clothes are somewhere in the forest” and you should be good.</p><p>Hey... who wants pictures of beasts?? </p><p> <a href="https://tinyurl.com/y7jnfvst">Here’s our bear monster.</a></p><p>As for Nicky — please keep in mind that my intention was that he very specifically NOT look like a “good guy beast” you’d see in a Disney movie. I didn’t want him to look less threatening if you put a bow in his mane. I wanted something that, even if you saw a baby one, you wouldn’t immediately want to cuddle it. That being said: <a href="https://wyrdas-database.fandom.com/wiki/Troll_Boar">This is Nicky’s beast.</a></p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all so much for coming on this adventure with me and taking a chance on this AU. I have had so much fun, and the reactions, comments, and feedback from you are most of the reason why. I very much hope you like this last installment, feel free to let me know what you thought either here or over at tumblr.</p><p>No content warnings, this time.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Joe hadn't meant to fall asleep; he'd meant to go sit by Nicky.</p>
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  <p>Nicky, whose beast is big and loud, with fearsome tusks and huge teeth, and the softest fur Joe's ever felt. Nicky who is still Nicky, even with horns and paws like platters. Nicky who came back with him.</p>
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  <p>Sitting up, he looks for the quiet snuffling noise that woke him. It's coming from the corner, where Nicky is sitting, patient and still, as Andy noses at his shoulder, his neck, and his mane. Both of them would inspire terror in anyone else who saw them, but Joe sees only one of his closest friends getting to know this man who has his heart.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks to Quynh, checking to see if she's awake. She's sitting beside Andy, watching her say hello to the only other creature like her in the world. This is something Andy hadn't even thought to hope for until today. Quynh's looks like she wants so badly to hope the crisis has passed but is still terrified. Her hand is fisted so tightly in the fabric of her skirt that her knuckles are white, and she's crying like Joe hasn't seen her cry since her father died. Everything about her is straining toward Andy, but she's still and silent, with huge, fat tears rolling down her face and dripping onto her dress.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Andy turns her head to look at her wife, meeting Quynh's eyes. Just as Quynh reaches out with one hand, Andy tilts her head to the side and rubs the side of her face against Quynh's palm.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky gets his feet under him and stands, turning away to give them privacy. Joe rises from the bench, shaking one leg to get rid of the pins and needles where that foot had fallen asleep and meets Nicky in the middle of the room.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hey," Joe says. Nicky drops his head low, angling it so he won't hit Joe with any of his sharp, pointy bits, and butts his forehead into Joe's shoulder. "I know; she looks much better." He pauses, and Nicky nudges him again. "Yes, I'm happy, too." Joe has no idea if that's what Nicky is trying to say, but it doesn't matter. Reaching up, he sinks his fingers into the fur of Nicky's ruff. The hairs closest to his face are stiff and rough, almost more like quills than hair. Joe trails his fingers across Nicky's head, wondering if the fur at the side of his face is stiff as well. Nicky's head twitches as Joe's fingers bump over the base of one horn.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh?" With more force than he'd typically use, but probably still not enough for Nicky, Joe scratches the fur around the base of each of Nicky's horns. Nicky pushes harder against Joe's shoulder, and Joe can feel Nicky's pleased rumble in his chest. "I'll start a list of all the places you like to be scratched when you're like this. Do you know how soft you are?" He strokes the side of Nicky's face, but when he tries to scratch the base of one tusk, Nicky flinches away. "Right. Not there." Joe threads his fingers up under the back of Nicky's mane and scratches lightly. This far along his back, it's thick and soft, though not quite as velvety as the rest of his fur. "While I would be happy to sit here and pet you all evening, Quynh and Andy should have a few minutes alone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He gathers up Nicky's clothes and boots. "Quynh, he has to—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not looking anywhere but at her."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe watches the shudder run along Nicky's back, blinks, and tosses the shirt to the beautiful, naked man standing where the enormous boar monster had been before. With the more sensitive parts of him covered, Nicky turns to cast a fond look at Andy and Quynh before walking into the private office next door. Joe follows him, pulling the door closed behind them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As Nicky pulls the rest of his clothes on and laces up his boots, Joe asks, "You knew?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nodding, Nicky says, "As soon as I saw the ring. But it wasn't—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Your secret to tell, I know, and I'm glad you kept it for her." Scrubbing at his forehead with the heel of his hand, Joe asks, "So, the ring?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It will be up to her to confirm this, but given that we were able to track down everyone else, her mother must have been the girl who ran away so early on. I'm guessing she stole the ring just before she ran away."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"From her father?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky nods.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She probably thought she'd sell it when she got to a city, but then either couldn't find a buyer or couldn't let it go."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Then only half of Andy is like you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Again, she will have to tell us for sure if she wants to, but it would explain why it took her so long to fall ill. Quite probably, she had some of the benefits early if her mother was able to nurse her. After that," Nicky shrugs. "If her mother died five years after she left, then Andy's lasted almost five times as long as our people normally would, so something about her is different. Either that or she's got some unknown supplier for the water, and while I wouldn't necessarily put it past Booker, I don't think he'd have kept her a secret from me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As soon as he stops talking, it's like the entire day catches up with Nicky at once. He sags against the desk, head drooping, and it occurs to Joe that this is probably the first time in nearly a week that Nicky hasn't been at least a little afraid for his life.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe steps into Nicky's space and holds him close. Arms tight around his waist, Nicky buries his nose in Joe's neck and breathes in deep. Something changes in his posture, and suddenly Nicky feels relaxed rather than exhausted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"There isn't much about the beast that I carry with me every day, and there's only one I ever notice. Smells. I can smell better, but also I experience them more deeply. I tell you this because I want you to know why I'm never lifting my head from this spot."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Chuckling, Joe sweeps his hand up the back of Nicky's neck and into his hair, settling his palm against Nicky's neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Whatever you want." He continues stroking Nicky's head. "Is that the only spot?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe feels the tips of Nicky's ears get hot. "I wondered if I was just imagining that the other night." He goes back to stroking Nicky's head, holding him close. "I'm so happy for you and Andy, but I can almost hear you starting to blame yourself. You couldn't have known; everything you knew said five years at most."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He tightens his arms around Joe's waist. "All I can think is how alone she must have felt, alone and afraid."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"She has you now, and you have her. You can show her the forest. Oh, Nicky, you'll have company in not-actually-hating Booker."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"With my luck, they'll adore each other and gang up on me." Nicky must feel Joe's throat bob with a nervous swallow. "What is it?" he asks, raising his head and stepping back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before Joe can answer, the door to the bedchamber opens, and Quynh is standing there, with a pale, shaky, very-much-alive Andy at her side. The chemise Andy is wearing hangs off her, and there are deep purple circles under her eyes, but she's smiling at Joe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"There you are," she says, her voice rough with disuse and quiet with exhaustion. Joe takes half a step toward her then stops. He doesn't want to hurt her, and he isn't sure if this is just fatigue and hunger or if there's something else as well.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her eye-roll says precisely how she feels about him handling her like she's made of glass. "Come hug me. I've missed you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Liar," Joe says, wrapping her up in the hug he's been wanting to give her for days, lifting her feet clear off the ground. "You didn't even know I'd been gone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When she's back on her feet, Andy touches her forehead to Joe's "Thank you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His voice drops to nearly a whisper. "You're my family."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I appreciate you not treating me differently because of—" she gestures toward the bedchamber. "All of that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"In fairness, on that topic, I had some advance preparation."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Andy's eyes flick over to Nicky. "Yes, you did."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe ducks forward, kissing her cheek before stepping back so she can go to Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Why did he think Nicky would be nervous or unsure right now? He bundles Andy into his arms like he's been doing it for hundreds of years. Joe smiles when he sees her rub the same spot on Nicky's head that he likes so much. It'll be nice to have another fan of petting Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Turning his head, Nicky murmurs something into Andy's ear, and she grins, whispering something in return. She steps back, and Nicky takes the opportunity to touch her hair, her cheek, her arms, fussing over her like a protective older brother. When she's feeling better, that will rankle Andy endlessly, and Joe can't wait to watch. For now, it seems a little coddling doesn't go amiss. He asks her something, too low for Joe to hear, and she leans her cheek into his palm and smiles at him, nodding.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll see you both in the morning?" Andy asks. Joe's nod seems to be enough for her, but she looks at Nicky until he answers her out loud, as if she fears he might disappear otherwise.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, I will be here in the morning."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There are hugs from Quynh as well. Even though she and Joe had dozed for a couple of hours, she's also barely on her feet. She's likely been running on nerves for days. Joe kisses her forehead and hugs her almost as tight as he wants to. For Nicky, she also has a hug, and it makes Joe's heart leap to see the two of them like that.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When the door closes behind Andy and Quynh, and he's alone with Nicky again, Joe loops his arms around Nicky's neck. Seeing Andy, on her feet, talking, and sounding almost like her old self, seems to have cleared the heaviness from the room as surely as if they'd opened a window. The worst of Andy's illness is behind them, and they're out of the forest. Perhaps it's not quite a giddiness, but Joe certainly feels lighter than he has in days.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He grins at Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did I mention that I live here?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's hands settle at his waist. "You might have."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"In fact, I live in this area of the palace."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And in my rooms, not two minutes walk from here, there is a very large bed."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm not—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Which has so many pillows on it, Nicky. <em>So</em> many pillows. Blankets the likes of which you've never seen. The kind you can crawl under and sleep for a day if you want."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What a filthy mouth you have, my heart ."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If the bed isn't enough to tempt you into my chambers, you should know that a few minutes after I pass the word to the nearest page, there will be a bathtub in there, full of hot water."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Well, Joe. I'm a beast of very high standards. How large is this bath?" Nicky's smile is guileless, but Joe knows better.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Large."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>There's a little teasing smile playing at the corners of Nicky's mouth, and Joe feels it in his bones. "Large can mean different things to different people. Can you be specific? Relate it to something I'd know."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I would need something we both know the measure of. Really, the only common reference we have is each other, so I would have to estimate that it would fit one of you and one of me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"At the same time?" Nicky asks, and Joe nods. "Why are we still standing here?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>True to Joe's word, the tub is in his sitting room only a few minutes after they get there, but the water takes a while longer. Joe uses the time to check Nicky's shoulder, making sure it's healing as it should. He runs his hands down Nicky's ribs, checking for places that might still be sore, but those seem to have healed already.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>One of the kitchen boys knocks on the door and passes Joe a tray with some bread and stew for the two of them. They fall on it like they've never seen food before.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I only have a few shirts, but one of them should fit you if you'd like to send yours to the laundry."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What's wrong, Joe? You don't think the sweat and dust bring out my eyes?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's unfair that you're this charming and funny even when you're practically dead on your feet."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky reels him in for another hug, tucking his nose into that spot he loves so much.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The sound Nicky makes as he sinks into a tub full of hot water hits Joe like someone squeezing his cock. It's <em>obscene</em>.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe gets in opposite him, tangling their legs together. Beside the tub, one of the kitchen girls has left a linen-wrapped bundle that Joe knows must have soap in it. Carefully, slowly, Joe works the soap up one of Nicky's legs, then the other. He uses his thumbs to dig into the soles of Nicky's feet and around his ankles. Sliding forward, Joe takes one of Nicky's hands and rests it on his knee. He listens to Nicky groan as soap-slick hands run down his arm and watches him shudder as Joe washes each finger individually, taking care to dig into the muscle at the base of Nicky's thumb. Repeating those motions on the other arm, Joe pronounces Nicky done, for now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky takes just as much care, just as much time, and Joe is a boneless heap by the time he's finished.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Taking the soap back, Joe says, "Over here, put your back toward me." Any other night the slide of Nicky's hips against the inside of his thighs would be all Joe needed to set him off. Tonight he's tired, footsore, and he just wants to feel Nicky's skin against his.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As Joe's circling the little soap bundle down Nicky's neck and across one shoulder, Nicky says, "That first day, how many knights rode out?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"All of them, probably. Or nearly all."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And the queen's champion, too?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, she's the one who organized the rest of the knights."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe uses the corner of the soap to work a knot out of Nicky's back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And—fuck, Joe, don't stop. That feels incredible. Yes, right there. No, down. Down. Right th—yes, yes, right there." His whole back shudders. "You are amazing."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe leans forward and kisses Nicky behind his ear. "You were saying?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"All of those knights turned back from the forest? The champion, too?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"They weren't lucky enough to have you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky grunts as Joe finds another knot and works it loose. "It's still true that you, the court poet and storyteller went into that same forest, and you succeeded where they all failed. "</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The back of Joe's neck is suddenly flushed and warm, slightly embarrassed at the praise. "You don't think that's a gross misrepresentation of the events? Given that I'd have been out on my ass faster than them if you weren't with me?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, I think that's another sign of your success. You managed to charm your way into having the guardian beast himself help you on your quest. An ally isn't cheating, Joe."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is this going somewhere?" Joe is scrubbing the back and sides of Nicky's neck, trying not to think about how much he wants to bite that muscle. That one. Right there.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I just never thought I'd have the honor of having my back washed by a hero of the realm."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe drops the soap and has to go fishing for it in his own lap. "This is some exaggeration worthy of a bard. Are you after my job?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"These are facts, Joe. You're the one who went into that forest and came out with what your queen needed to survive. There were knights in the courtyard earlier, stable hands, and pages, and at least one delivery boy from a shop somewhere. They were all standing there when you announced that you'd succeeded, and they won't keep that to themselves, especially after everyone sees Andy up and well again."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Idly swiping at Nicky's back, Joe tries to remember how many people were in the courtyard. It's at least as many as Nicky remembers, possibly more.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You don't think you'll get a hero's welcome the next time you go through town?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I do not."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"That's a startling lack of imagination for a storyteller, Joe." He settles back against Joe's chest, his hands sketching pictures in the air. "I can picture it perfectly. You'll see that you're out paper in your sketchbook, and you'll leave the palace to visit the paper making guildhall—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The paper making guild hall? Is that where you think—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don't interrupt."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe drops his face into the curve of Nicky's shoulder and snickers. Sliding his hand around Nicky's waist, Joe works the soap across his chest and belly.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You'll leave the palace thinking it's any other day, but you'll notice a maiden swoon as you walk by. Then another. From everywhere, people will gather to pay tribute to their new hero, savior of queens."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How hard did you hit the ground this morning? I'm worried you cracked something more than a few ribs." Joe's hand slicks up the front of Nicky's throat, swiping away the worst of the road dust and sweat and wood smoke and leaving just the smell of the soap and Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You can't hear them cheering for you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He can't resist kissing his way up the side of Nicky's throat. "The only thing I hear is the most beautiful man in the world talking nonsense."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Heroes get celebrated, Joe. I don't make the rules. Remember, when they throw flowers to you in the street, try to catch a couple of them and throw them back."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You are incorrigible."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The crowd chanting your name as you pass, imagine it." Joe thinks he could spend forever with this man and never grow sick of him, even when he's being ridiculous. "Lining the streets, calling out, ‘Yusuf! Yusuf! Yu—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe hooks Nicky under the chin and pulls his face around until his lips are close enough to kiss, then licks his way into Nicky's mouth, as much to stop him talking as anything else. Nicky turns, sloshing water over the edge of the tub, to give Joe a proper kiss. Then another as he washes Joe's chest and back. Then another and another, until the water starts to grow cold and they move the kissing to the bed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before long, the two of them are sound asleep, still tangled around each other, with Nicky's nose buried in Joe's neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>"You know, Yusuf, if I didn't know you better, I'd worry this might make you want to break more promises you make to me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Together, he and Quynh sit at a table in the corner of her sitting room, having breakfast. Across the room, Andy and Nicky are sitting side-by-side, looking into the fireplace. There's a small fire, enough to beat back the lingering nighttime chill of a stone building, and enough to give them something to watch as they talk. Andy's head is tilted toward Nicky's as she asks a question, and he answers with patience and enthusiasm. Their breakfast sits forgotten on the table next to Andy's chair.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe reaches for a pastry, and Quynh nudges the tray closer to him so he can get to the one she knows he wants. "Thank you." He takes a bite then looks at her. "What promise?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Her thumbnail digs into the pith of an orange, lifting the peel away from the flesh. She drops bits of the peel onto her plate as she works it free. "You told me you'd come back to me in the same condition you left. Anyone who sees the way you look at him knows you broke that promise."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>How could he have been the same man after everything in the forest? Even without meeting Nicky, he'd have been a different man today than he was this time last week. Knowing Nicky, having his family safe and healthy, those are what give shape and meaning to everything else he's been through.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's like nothing I've ever known. None of the usual things I would associate with falling in love have happened, but here I am. Everything I wanted from those big grand affairs, I found with him. He's rescued me time and again, but it wasn't the rescues that made me love him; it was how I never doubted he'd be at my side. I always thought I wanted a lover to be enthralled and captivated by me, but the truth is that I wanted them to be like Nicky."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How's that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Devoted. He is as devoted to me as I am to him; I know it. I never doubt it. This love felt like such a surprise sometimes because I--" He s stops, at a loss.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You're used to love sweeping you off your feet."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, I suppose. Not this time, though. This time love is my solid ground."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Such a poet you are sometimes, Yusuf."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe grins at her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She separates the orange slices, handing half of them to Joe. "What will you do now?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He'll have to go back, I think. He's still the guardian beast for the spring. The forest still needs him, and this is who he is."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Will he be back?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I don't know." That question is the only dark cloud in the sky right now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Across the room, Andy laughs at something Nicky shows her, and Joe thinks he hears Nicky say, "fucking weasel."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>This wonderful, impossible man. For a second, Joe's heart hurts with how full it feels. He'd rather have some time with Nicky than eternity with anyone else.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>After breakfast, Andy wants to rest some more. Quynh, understandably, doesn't want to leave her side, so Joe takes Nicky on a tour of the palace. Nicky seems to love having a visual to go with some of Joe's stories, and when he slips his hand into Joe's as they walk, Joe squeezes and doesn't let go again. On their way back from the mews, they pass the training lists where two squires catch sight of Joe and begin pointing to him and whispering to each other. "Good afternoon to you," Joe says, and the boys get so excited they trip over each other. Nicky laughs so hard he has to find a place to sit down.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I told you, Joe. Hero of the realm." Joe cocks one eyebrow at him, and Nicky sets off, laughing again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>They take their midday meal in Joe's chambers, and Nicky declares his favorite place in the palace is Joe's sitting room. "Your poems are on the desk, and your drawings are on the wall. There's more of you here than anywhere else." Joe pushes their trays to the side and climbs into Nicky's lap, and kisses Nicky for as long as he wants.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>After their meal, Joe stretches out on his bed, smiling as Nicky drapes himself across Joe's chest. It feels like the kind of stolen hour when honest talks happen, but Joe isn't expecting Nicky's first question.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You really think I'm soft?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes? Isn't Andy soft? "</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Very, but I've never felt myself like that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The bristles under your chin would put someone's eye out, so would the bits right between the horns, but yes. The rest of you is incredibly soft." He strokes the back of Nicky's head. "Understand me; you're absolutely lethal. You could shred my belly open with one paw and not even be breathing hard. I can only imagine how many creatures and people have run in terror of being impaled on any one of the long, sharp, horrifying things on your head, but for those of us who are lucky enough to know who that terrifying beast is, it's just you. Just my Nicky. What I said yesterday was true; I will pet you as long as you want."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And if I were to stay like this?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe breathes a happy little hum into the crown of Nicky's head. "I will pet you as long as you want."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You don't think of the beast as separate from me, do you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No. I've thought about this. If you saw me practice with my dagger and then write poetry, would you think of them as separate from each other? They're both me, just like this shape and your beast are both you; they only serve different purposes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky stretches up, bracketing Joe's head with his forearms and kissing him. Chin propped on his fist and one hand brushing over Joe's curls, Nicky says, "I have to go back to the forest in the morning."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's fingers dig into Nicky's back, clutching as though he could keep Nicky here by sheer force of will. "I know."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"There are things I need to do there, and I need to see Booker."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Time to ask the question, Joe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Will you be back?" Joe tries for something lighthearted. "If you want, there will always be a place for you here. Quynh and I will build you two a room where your beasts can go lounge around together."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky frowns at him, "Why would I not want to come back?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can feel his ears get hot. "You have a duty, your family has been the guardian beasts for generations, and now you say you're going back. It's not an unreasonable assumption."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>For a minute, Nicky only studies his face, then he smiles. "I know what you're doing. I did it yesterday. This is some self-preservation instinct forgetting that you're talking to <em>me.</em> Please remind that instinct I threw my body in front of yours to protect you from a monster, and I showed you my beast." Nicky shakes his head, a look of fond exasperation on his face. "You said to let you love me as much as you want. How can I do that if I'm not with you? Even if we're at my house instead of the palace, no matter where I am, Joe, I want you beside me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He kisses Joe, a simple, honest promise of a kiss.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe closes his eyes and sighs, something lifting off his chest. "What about the forest?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It used to be that the forest needed guardians and protectors while it gathered its strength. I saw that bear thing, and I don't think it needs my kind anymore. It should be okay on its own, and it's not like I won't be back. For one thing, Booker will piss on my pillow if I stay away too long."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He wants to laugh, he does, but Joe's not quite there yet. Bundling Nicky as close as he can, he asks, "Can it say 'no?'"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky is quiet for a long time. "I don't know."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If it decides not to let you go, what can it do?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sighing, Nicky rests his head on Joe's chest again. "I honestly don't know."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe cards his fingers through Nicky's hair, feeling the strands slip past his hands. When he speaks, his voice is clear and determined. "Whatever happens, we'll find a way."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"We," Nicky says. "Together." They're quiet for a long time, letting the truths settle between them. It's Nicky who speaks first. "You know, Joe. In the morning, I ride out to face the most powerful foe I've ever battled. I can't know what the day will bring." He lets the unspoken words hang between them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe snorts. "You're going with 'I could die tomorrow,' is that it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky pushes himself up on his elbow and looks down at Joe, grinning. "It worked for you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I've got news; it's working for you, too." He tugs Nicky close for a long, lazy kiss. Feeling Nicky's tongue slide against his own, Joe thinks he could do this all night. They could kiss and let their hands wander, and perhaps at some point, they'd start rocking into each other enough to climax, or perhaps they'd doze off, content in the arms of their love.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's body seems to have other ideas. Joe can feel it pressing, hot and hard, against his thigh. Kneeling up, Nicky pulls off his shirt and breeches. He laughs as he sees the frown Joe can't quite keep off his face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did you want to do that?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Safe to assume I always want you naked, but yes, I had been looking forward to laying you bare."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Let me make it up to you. I've wanted to strip you out of your clothes since the second you put them on this morning. If you wanted me to feel properly chastened, you could deprive me of that by undressing yourself."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I can, can't I?" Joe loves the way Nicky's eyes glitter even as his cheeks get pink. Carefully, agonizingly slowly, Joe unbuttons his breeches, pushing them down off his legs and onto the floor. He's only wearing his shirt now, and he might have taken it off without hesitation, except that he sees Nicky's eyes when he catches a glimpse of Joe's thigh. Something about the way the shirt is riding up on him, the polite indecency of being nearly exposed, is working for Nicky.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe stretches his arms over his head and knows that the head of his cock is just visible below the hem of the shirt. He slides one foot back, bringing his knee up, and the fabric of the shirt slides down his thigh, puddling at his groin. Right now, Joe's cock is on display every bit as much as Nicky's is, but the fact that he's teased this, framed it with the propriety of his shirt, makes him feel so much more naked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I want your hands," Joe says. "Please push it up to my chest and lift it off my arms. Your hands feel so good on me, please." Nicky does precisely that. He puts his palms flat against the curve of Joe's pelvis on either side and drags his hands up Joe's chest, pushing hard enough to get a delicious drag of skin against skin.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Look how beautiful you are. I saw it in the cave, and I saw it in the forest, but here, with the lamps, I can see every bit of you, and all of it is perfect. Look how dark your hair is against your skin." When Nicky pulls the shirt back down, Joe is confused, but only for as long as it takes Nicky to put his hand over Joe's cock and cup him through the fabric. "Someday, I'm going to get my hand down here while you're fully dressed, maybe under the table at some boring meeting, and I'm going to stroke you through your shirt, just like this. Stroke you until you leak through the fabric and soak my hand."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky. Please, Nicky, let me have your skin." That's all it takes for Nicky to push Joe's shirt back up his chest and tug it off his arms. He stretches out along the length of Joe's body, and Joe groans, rolling himself against Nicky. "I love feeling you this close to me, feeling all your skin. Fuck me just like this, please. Slick your cock and my legs and let me feel you push and slide against me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fuck, my heart. I love hearing you. When you ask so sweet like that, it makes me want to give you anything you ask for. Where is—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe waves toward the small chest on his bedside table, and Nicky pulls out the stoppered bottle of oil, golden in the lamplight. Working the stopper loose, Nicky pours some in his hand and dribbles it over his cock. Seeing those drops fall against him makes Joe's vision go white for a second. When the haze clears, Joe can see Nicky, head thrown back, the long line of his neck the color of honey, fucking up into his tight fist.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Another pour of the oil into his palm and Nicky slips that hand into the heat between Joe's thighs. He pushes in, twists his hand, and cups Joe's balls, stroking his fingertips over the spot just behind them. Joe is beginning to rethink the idea of something slow and lazy that lasts all night; he needs to feel Nicky's cock fucking him, somehow.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky runs his palm up Joe's cock, wiping some of the remaining oil onto his skin. He strokes Joe, slow and slick, a few times before bracing himself on one elbow, looking down into Joe's face. "Here?" he asks, sliding his hand into the crease of Joe's thighs and over his balls again. Joe sees sparks behind his eyes; he feels like he's drinking Nicky in through every pore. Mouth dropping open in a gasp, Joe nods.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As he pulls his hand free, Nicky kisses Joe, drinking the moan from his mouth. The heat of Nicky's cock pressing into that slick, humid space makes Joe want to squeeze his legs tighter and never let Nicky move from this spot. Every movement Nicky makes drags against Joe's balls and into the crease of his ass. Just as Joe thinks he might be able to survive this, Nicky starts thrusting.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe's hands scrabble at Nicky's shoulders, clutching at him. He wants to say how incredible this feels, how much he loves feeling Nicky against him, how every movement brings him more and more pleasure, but all that comes out is, "Nicky. Nicky. Please, Nicky."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His cock is brushing against Nicky's belly, and it's such a fucking tease. Joe finds himself pulling on Nicky's arm and his shoulder until Nicky's elbows are on either side of Joe's head, trapping Joe's oil-slick cock between them. Before long, Joe feels Nicky's hands on his forearms and wrists, feels them slide against his palms. Nicky laces their fingers together, and they grip each other, that contact grounding them as everything else is lost to the roll and slide of their bodies together.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Into Joe's ear, Nicky whispers his love, whispers how good Joe feels, how sweet Joe's gasps and whines are. It's good, it's so good, and Joe doesn't want it to be over. He wants to make this last and last. The drag of Nicky's hair over Joe's cock is so sweet, especially with the hot press of Nicky's skin behind it, and Joe knows that if it goes on much longer, he won't be able to stop the slide toward his climax.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Wait. Nicky, sweetheart."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Holding perfectly still, Nicky looks at him. "Sweetheart?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Honey?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's eyebrow goes up. "Honey."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Baby?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Somehow, impossibly, the eyebrow goes up more.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Love?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky smiles, so warm and soft. "Love."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe grins back. "Nicky, love, let me roll over."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Eyes wide at the prospect, Nicky kneels up and lets Joe arrange himself on the bed. He's laying on his belly, his arms pillowed under his head.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>So quietly Joe might almost have missed it, Nicky says. "Fuck."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Taking advantage of the break, Nicky pours some more oil into his palm, slicking some of it up the length of his cock. The rest he lets run off into the crease of Joe's ass.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's pooling just here," Nicky says, running his finger along the spot just at the junction of Joe's ass and thighs. "I'm going to fuck my cock in right at this spot. It will push all this oil along your ass and over your balls. I want you to feel me fucking against you all slick and hot."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What do you want, love?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I want you to--Just like you said. Fuck me. Fuck my thighs, let me feel the head against me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If I push far enough, you might feel me slide alongside your cock, won't you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Please! Please let me feel your skin and your heat, let me feel the weight of you on me as you--Fuck! Nicky, please!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He feels Nicky's mouth on his neck, kissing him, nipping at the shell of his ear. "I want to hear every noise."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Anything."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The first, hot slide of Nicky's cock from that direction, slicking along the underside of Joe's balls, is perfect. The second is even better. Joe rests his cheek against the bed and slides his hands out from under him, fisting them in the sheets.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You want my hands again?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe nods. "I want to feel you against me everywhere."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's hands are warm and still a little slick with oil, so Joe twists their fingers together to get the best grip he can. "Love, fuck me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The press of Nicky's weight against him feels so good, like he's surrounded by this man he loves. When Nicky starts thrusting again, Joe realizes his mistake. The weave of the linen sheets has gotten slick with oil, and the fluid Joe's desire is milking from his cock. Every time Nicky pushes in, the head of Joe's cock slides through that slick place, and he feels it like sparks in his fingertips. Further up his body, Joe's nipples are being dragged against the sheets as well, a slow, hard pull of skin against linen. Now it's everything Joe can do just to hold on.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"When I come back--" Nicky's words cut off as Joe crosses his legs at the ankle, tightening the space Nicky is fucking. "When I come back, I want to stay in this bed with you for three days."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Three?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"At the very least. We'll lock that door behind us and only open it to get the food the kitchen staff leaves in your sitting room."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yes, that's good." Joe tries to roll his hips back to meet Nicky's thrust. "What about the bath?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky growls, low and hot in Joe's ear. "Are you trying to distract me with logistics?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe can't hold back his laugh, and Nicky responds by grinding his hips into Joe's, pushing Joe's cock against the sheets. "I'm going to open you with my tongue and my fingers until you lose yourself and come for me. Then I'm going to fuck you long and hard enough that I'll be able to smell you on my skin for days."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky," Joe says, stretching it out until it's a moan. "I want that. Please, I want that."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"After that, I think--" He stops, saying nothing more as he pushes himself into Joe's slick heat again and again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe just barely has the presence of mind to think, 'I've fallen in love with a terrible tease,' before he's grinding back against Nicky's hips. "After that? Tell me, please."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You want me to ruin the surprise?" The noise that comes out of Joe is unmistakably a whine. "Oh love, I will never get tired of hearing the sounds you make for me." He thrusts once more and says, "After that, I think I'll open myself up and fuck myself onto your cock until I'm begging for your hand on me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The vague, persistent pleasure that had been building at the base of Joe's spine starts to push out into his arms and legs. His toes curl, and his grip on Nicky's fingers get tighter.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I want to hear every sound you make while you're deep inside me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fuck! Nicky!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You feel it starting?" Joe nods his head. "You want me to go harder?" Another frantic nod. Nicky's laugh is a low rumble, but it's soon lost in the little moans his thrusts are driving out of Joe.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's gone, couldn't hold it back now if he tried, so Joe gives himself over to it. The liquid heat of Nicky fucking him spreads out from Joe's cock and fills his heart, his mind; all he can think and hear and see is Nicky. It's perfect.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe shouts, he's so close.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Come for me, love. Get yourself all slick and messy."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now it's a sob, and Joe's orgasm pushes out of him in waves, endlessly crashing into him. Nicky stops fucking so hard, instead, just grinding himself against Joe, giving him that sweet, perfect pressure he needs to keep it going as long as possible.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When Joe can feel his fingers again, he lets go of Nicky's hands. "Let me roll over."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>On his back, Joe can see Nicky's cock and thinks it's so hard and dark it must ache. Reaching out, Joe strokes his fingers up the underside, feeling that heavy, slick weight in his hand. He curls his hand around the back of Nicky's thigh, "Come here."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pulling two pillows over, Joe props his head up, watching Nicky move closer. When he's kneeling almost directly over Joe's face, Joe looks into Nicky's eyes and drops his mouth open.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky grips his cock hard and grunts, holding something back. When he can open his eyes again, Nicky drags the head of his cock over Joe's lips, making them even slicker. Joe's eyes drop closed, and he licks his lips clean. There's something like a sob from Nicky, and he pushes his cock into Joe's mouth. No far, just getting the head past Joe's lips, but far enough. He pauses, gripping the headboard for balance and rolling his head on his neck before looking back down at Joe and fucking his mouth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He only lasts a dozen or so shallow thrusts before Nicky gasps, his face goes tight, and he tries to pull back. Joe's hand flies up, grabbing the meat of Nicky's ass and holding him there. When Nicky looks at Joe with a question in his eyes, Joe flicks his tongue over the head of Nicky's cock and squeezes his ass. That's all it takes to have Nicky gasping again and spilling into Joe's mouth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe dares a few last swipes with his tongue to clean the last traces from Nicky's skin before opening his mouth and letting Nicky slide free.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky stays where he is, hands on the headboard until his breathing slows. Joe runs his hand up Nicky's chest, lazily petting him. When Nicky can move, he stretches himself out along the length of Joe's legs and licks Joe's belly clean.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>With a contented sigh, Joe runs his fingers through Nicky's hair.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you petting me?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Are you complaining?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky shakes his head. He rests his forehead against Joe's hip and kisses him right at the crease of his left thigh. Now it's Nicky's turn to sigh. Joe smiles, his hand still stroking through Nicky's hair. Nicky and his beast like the way Joe smells, and Joe wants to give them anything they want.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is that the spot?" Joe can feel Nicky's ears get hot as he nods. "Good." He rests his hand on Nicky's head, feeling him relax.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Before long, Nicky joins Joe on the pillow, kissing him and kissing him and kissing him until they both fall asleep. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>When they wake, Joe has some ideas about how to spend the rest of the day, and if that means they miss having their evening meal with the queens, surely their majesties will understand.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>By mutual agreement, Nicky leaves before the morning meal. The longer he waited, the harder it would be to say goodbye that day, and any time they spent together would only be spent wishing this weren't hanging over their heads.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The stable-hands bring Nicky's horse around to the courtyard. She's not used to so many strange people and strange smells, but a few whispered words from Nicky, and she seems to settle.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe gathers Nicky in close, smiling when he feels Nicky's nose against his neck.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I can still go with you."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Stay here with Quynh and Andy. They need you to keep people away for a few more days, and if things don't go to plan, I don't want you caught up in it."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Holding Nicky's face in his hands, Joe kisses his jaw, his cheek, his temple. He drags their noses together, just feeling Nicky's skin against his own. Resting his forehead against Nicky's, Joe can hear him breathing. "I love you so much; please be careful."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky darts forward, sealing his mouth over Joe's. It's wonderful, like every kiss from Nicky, and Joe can't help but want more. He slips his hands back to tug at Nicky's hair, and when Nicky's mouth drops open in a groan, Joe shifts the angle enough that he can deepen the kiss into something slick and needy and thick with promise. Nicky's hands, resting at Joe's waist, curl into fists with the fabric of Joe's shirt bunched up in them, and the movement tugs Joe the slightest bit closer.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'll be back."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Letting his fear show for just a second, Joe says," Don't make promises you don't know you can keep."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky cups his face. "I love you. I'll be back as soon as I can." One foot in a stirrup, Nicky swings up onto his horse and grins down at Joe. "If I'm gone more than a day, go to my house, wait for Booker. I'm terrified of what plan you two would cook up, but I won't be in any position to argue."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"If you're gone more than a day, I'm letting him rub himself all over your pillow."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe has looked into the maw of a river monster, been strangled by a monster made of vines, and felt himself lifted in the claws of a bear the size of a mountain, but watching Nicky ride away is the most frightened he's ever been.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>At the morning meal, Andy almost looks almost normal again. Her color is back, and the circles under her eyes aren't so deep. He hugs her close and kisses Quynh on the cheek.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"How are Your Majesties this morning?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Like she can smell false cheer on the air, Quynh's look pins him in place. "Where's Nicky?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"He went to the forest. They need to work some things out, and he has a friend there he wants to talk to."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"The weasel?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe thinks about Booker dragging his underbelly along Nicky's cloak, and he can't help but smile. "Yes, the weasel." As if he's opened the door to memories of the forest, other images elbow each other out of the way to play out across his mind. The bear, shrieking at them, the way it only stopped when Nicky shifted and pleaded with it, and the way it only let them go so they could get the water to Andy.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Seeing his face, Quynh slips her hand into Joe's, and he squeezes it so hard he worries he'll break one of her fingers.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I let him go. I let him go alone. Fuck, Quynh, he's alone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Joe?" Andy's face has gone pale again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He tells them about the bear, about the fight in the clearing, and the way it ended. The two of them look more and more worried as the story goes on.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>In the silence that follows, Joe thinks he could hear their hearts beating if he listened hard enough.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"It's unimaginably powerful, as fiercely protective of the creatures who live there as the spring at its heart, and Nicky's going to go in there and tell it he wants to leave, without the kind of reason he had last time. And I let him go alone."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Andy cocks her head, "Why the fuck are you still standing here?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe looks up at Quynh, but before he can ask, she says, "Go!" As he's running for his rooms to put his boots on, Quynh calls for one of the pages to bring Cricket to the inner courtyard.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm sorry," Joe says to Cricket once he's in the saddle. "I promise someday we'll take our time on a journey."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>As they travel, Joe tries to work out the timing in his head. Nicky left a little over an hour before Joe, but he won't be pushing his horse this hard. If Joe keeps up this pace, and he only stops for a minute or two at the creek to let Cricket rest, he might have a chance of catching Nicky while he's still on the road.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>That thought becomes his single focus.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he knows he's close, and he still hasn't seen Nicky yet, Joe tries not to think the worst. Pulling up in front of Nicky's house to find his horse, still saddled, grazing in the field, with Nicky nowhere in sight, Joe gives up and starts to panic.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe is already shouting when he strides into the house through the front door that had been left standing open.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky!" Not in the bedroom, not in the small kitchen area. "Nicky!" Nothing. Nicky's not in the house, he's not in the field, and he's not responding to Joe's calls.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Raking his fingers through his hair, Joe groans in frustration. "Shit! Nicky, where are you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he finds the start of the path after five solid minutes of searching the tree line, Joe takes off down it at a run.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A few minutes into the forest, he sees movement in the distance. Once he's closer, he can see that it's Nicky, walking from one tree to another, and Joe nearly falls to his knees in the middle of the path, weeping with relief. Nicky's alive and in one piece, anything else they can deal with together.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe opens his mouth to call out, but something in Nicky's posture stops him. The way he's pressing his palm to each tree, touching his forehead to it, there's a reverence Joe can't bring himself to disrupt.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>When he's close enough, Joe realizes that Nicky's talking to them, to it, to the forest. A few steps more, and Joe can make out the words.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"—fought so bravely. You would have beaten us both, without question, even when we were working together. The creatures here need safety and sanctuary, and no one will protect them better than you. I've seen what you can create; I know you're more than strong enough to be your own guardian, and it's time for me to leave. You know I'll be back; I'll <em>always</em> be back, and when I come, I'll bring her, so she can see where she comes from."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe listens for any hint of a growl, the thud of an enormous paw hitting the ground, anything that might be the forest fighting to keep Nicky here. There's a breeze in the treetops and nothing else.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Nicky?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>His head jerks up, and he turns to look at Joe. "Wh—Joe? What—"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Whatever comes at us, we deal with it together."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky joins him on the path, kissing him softly on the mouth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Did it say anything back?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"In a way?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>As they walk back to Nicky's house, he tells Joe about the way he's learned to read the forest.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I knew as soon as I set foot on the path, it wouldn't fight me this time."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Joe pulls Nicky close, clinging to him and feeling the crush of Nicky's arms around his chest and the solid warmth of Nicky's hands on his back.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Looking up into the treetops, Joe smiles as the sun warms his face.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
  <p>In front of the little stone cottage, Cricket's reins in his hand, Joe thinks about the last time they were here, about everything that came before it and everything since. Their meeting might have felt like destiny, but every step since then has been the two of them working together. Joe can't wait to see what's next.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Come on," Nicky says, leading his horse back from her favorite grazing spot. "Let's go home."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Feeling like the joy might bubble out of his throat, Joe asks, "Nothing else do you need to do?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky shakes his head. "Nothing. I left a note for Booker and packed everything I need for now. Besides, we'll be back soon."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm looking forward to seeing this place when it's not trying to kill me."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Nicky's laugh is warm and rich, and Joe feels happiness pooling in his heart. "I won't make you sleep on the ground next time, either." There's a hint of mischief in the curl of Nicky's grin, and Joe can't wait to learn every smile Nicky has. "I have a very nice blanket you might want to see up close. Maybe I'll see about making that dream of yours come true."</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>Yes,</em> Joe thinks, hoping Nicky can see the love in his smile. <em>And all the rest of them, too.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(Booker comes to visit, and he and Andy become thick as thieves. For fun, he likes to see how many times Andy will let his weasel be a part of her royal portraits. He likes how everywhere Nicky looks, Booker is staring at him from a painting, a smug look on his face. <a href="https://tinyurl.com/yaorvjho">This one is Booker's favorite</a>. He thinks his arms look jacked in it.)</p><p>(yes, I know it's an ermine. just go with it.)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one, more so than anything else I've written, owes an enormous debt to <a href="https://ceeturnalia.tumblr.com">Cee</a>, who did everything from validating my choices to picking out the big bad. I would be lost without her, my Emotional Support Asshole.</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30913682">[Podfic] we could be an ancient tale</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/etoiledunord/pseuds/etoiledunord">etoiledunord</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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